How To Make Eye Contact Without Being Creepy

Knowing how to make eye contact without being creepy helps you approach with ease.

Approaching an attractive woman is nerve-wracking for most men. The last thing you want is coming across in the wrong way!

Today, I’m going to walk you through four steps to great eye-contact. This way, you can know how to make eye contact without being creepy.

Once I walk you through those four steps, we’ll customize your approach angle to two kinds of personalities and dispositions.

Our goal today is to make sure you’re neither actually creepy nor afraid of being creepy even if you’re not. Both of those are common, understandable, and not a whole lot of fun.

My personal daily business motto, applied to eye contact

Ready? Here it is:

“Be smart. Don’t be weird.”

Before I go further, let me explain what I mean by this motto:

  • Be smart = Be thoughtful, logical, and intuitive, seeing the big picture and the small picture at once.
  • Don’t be weird = Don’t be overly aggressive or overly passive. Be clear, respectful, and relevant.

My motto (which you’re free to adopt) directly applies to dating as you’ve likely gathered by now. That’s because business and dating have ATTRACTION at their core.

Attraction has to be present for either to work well. When we’re being weird, the attraction dynamic either gets weird too or falls apart altogether.

If we’re not weird, then we’re not creepy (yay!), among a whole host of other unsavory things we get to avoid. So, let’s be non-weird together.

(Note: weird as in fun, playful, quirky is GREAT. In that case, I myself am weird on a regular basis and proud of it. The weird we’re wanting to avoid here is sleazy, creepy, and “off.”)

Ready for your four steps on how to make eye contact without being creepy? I’ll share them here, and then I’ll explain the subtleties of each step according to your own personal vibe.

Onto our 4-Step Eye Contact Process that will show you how to make eye contact without being creepy:

Step 1: Remember the badass you are before you leave the house.

Whenever you’re about to go out, reflect on your Attractive Values and Attractive Factors. These will not only help you feel more confident so you can hold eye contact, but they will also improve your body language in general.

Your Attractive Values are the deepest values you hold dear. They’re your compass in life, and they add a certain depth and character to you once a woman gets to talking with you.

Your Attractive Factors “get your foot in the door” with a new woman you’re attracted. This is because they’re your best and most visible qualities that you get complimented on most, like your strong arms or your listening skills.

These are your most distinctive qualities, and you can find out what yours are in my ebook on finding your own uniquely attractive vibe.

If you’ve already done the exercise, review the Attraction Amplifiers in the ebook.

It will help you solidify your understanding of how each of your Values & Factors undergirds what women ALREADY find attractive.

When it comes to making a positive, attractive impression on a woman and intuitively knowing how to make sexy, strong eye contact without being creepy, guess what?

Understanding why and how you are distinctively attractive helps you feel on par with every beautiful woman you see.

Action Step: Write your Attractive Values and Attractive Factors on a sticky note that you put on your bathroom mirror at home. Repeat your qualities out loud to yourself every morning and right before you leave the house, steadily holding eye contact with your mirrored reflection on each point.

Step 2: Make relaxed eye-contact with people in general.

Once you’ve left the house, it’s time to build on your confidence by getting positive feedback without taking any risks. Doesn’t that sound soothing? It’s awesome. Mostly because it WORKS.

As you make your way towards your venue, make relaxed eye contact with people you see on the sidewalk and wherever you stop along the way.

As you make eye contact with someone, imagine that you already know and love that person. Just for fun. This will help strengthen your confidence and will also help your own relaxed charm naturally shine through.

Action Step: Make relaxed, pleasant eye-contact with everyone you see on your way to the venue and at the venue itself. As you share glances with people, play with feeling as if you know them already. Do that by focusing on what you already have in common.

For example, out of the 7 billion people on this earth, the fact that you’re in the same place at the same time is quite serendipitous and bonding if you look at it.

As you gently practice this, you’ll slowly integrate how to make and playfully break eye contact without being creepy into your way of relating.

You will get some nods and smiles in response, which will boost your confidence for Step 3.

Step 3: Make eye contact with a woman you find attractive.

At this point, you’re in touch with what makes you attractive. You’ve been getting pleasant eye-contact and smiles from people you’ve crossed paths with tonight.

You are feeling pretty good. You feel pretty connected to the people around you, more than usual because of implementing the first two steps like a badass.

Action Step: Now when you see a woman you feel attracted to, make easy eye contact with her, feeling your attraction (and attractiveness) as you do.

After these four steps, I’ll show you the subtleties of HOW to make confident eye contact without being creepy, according to your Attractive Values and Attractive Factors from Step 1.

Step 4: Revisit eye-contact with her long enough to get a feel for whether she feels attracted to you too.

Once she’s noticed you, she might be curious.

Action Step: Notice if she seems to be looking back at you with a shy, pleasant, open, perhaps smiling face. If so, you’ve successfully initiated eye contact with her. You are ready to move closer to her in the room and start a conversation.

Imagine the difference between what you’re doing here and what you’d done if you had not openly and easily made eye contact with your reflection, others, and her in a subtle and relaxed way beforehand.

That difference reflects in your mood and your own facial expression WHILE you’re making eye contact with her. This matters!

According to The New York Times, there are 43 muscles in the human face. You cannot possibly control all those muscles at will to appear relaxed and confident.

While a lot of guys try to fake confidence, you must actually FEEL relaxed and confident in order to initiate eye contact in a chill, attractive way.

When you feel comfortable in your own skin, it naturally shows through and piques a woman’s interest in you. 

Now let’s talk about two styles of sexy eye contact according to your natural vibe. Not only are you learning how to make eye contact without being creepy, but you’re also learning more than that.

You’re learning how to make eye contact in the best, most natural way for you.

Why stop at eliciting a relieved, “Yeah, he seems nice. He’s not creepy,” when we can get an excited, “Holy shit, that guy is hot!!”

Are you with me? Now, see which of these two styles suits you best.

Sexy Eye Contact for Quieter, Mysterious Guys:

If you’re on the quiet mysterious side, these may be some of your Attractive Values and Factors: Chillness, Thoughtfulness, and Gentleness.

Again, if you don’t know yours yet, get the free ebook.

If you’re naturally more mysterious, the eye-contact that works best for you is COVERT and INTRIGUING.

In Steps 3 and 4 of the 4-Step eye contact process above, you’ll not only be in touch with how to make eye contact without being creepy…

You will also be making eye contact with her more covertly like a badass. It’s as if it’s a sexy secret between the two of you, hidden from others in the room.

This works because of your nature. You’re naturally intriguing.

When you’re confident and know yourself, you become irresistible to many women who naturally prefer men like you. Gregarious guys are not the be-all, end-all!

(If you don’t know what I’m talking about, check out my hallmark article, “7 Reasons Introverted Men Are So Damn Attractive.”)

If a woman feels attracted to you, you’ll see her looking away first because of the intense yet relaxed confidence you’re bringing. As long as she’s smiling a little and seems happily shy or open to you, you’re good.

Sexy Eye Contact for Enthusiastic, Passionate Guys:

If you’re on the enthusiastic and passionate side, these may be some of your Attractive Values and Factors: Passion, Positivity, and Warmth.

Again, use the ebook to learn what your own qualities are.

If you’re naturally more enthusiastic, the eye-contact that works best for you is OPEN and INVITING.

Because your disposition is naturally warm, your direct eye-contact will feel and come across as more free and open, a clear sign to her of your interest.

When you’re feeling confident in your own attractiveness, it comes across as welcoming and inviting.

For women who are more attracted to a passionate vibe in a man, this is a green light for them to cozy up to you.

They may still be shy at first. But they’re likely to seem more ready to open up around you than if you were more mysterious.

Based on your disposition, you can use eye contact to spark chemistry with women you’re attracted to.

Each disposition draws out a different side of women. The key is knowing yours and feeling the effect it has on her when you look at her.

When you work with your natural charm and highlight what’s already great about you, you can use eye contact in a way that’s not creepy or weird.

Instead, your style of eye contact suits you and is captivating to women who ALREADY prefer men like you.

Whether more covert and intriguing or more open and inviting — when it’s genuinely you, it hits the spot.


Now you know how to make eye contact without being creepy. More than that — you know how to make eye contact that makes you feel confident and strong and has women feeling happily weak in the knees around you.

What about all the other parts of attraction outside of eye contact? 

Enjoy! And don’t forget to grab that ebook. Because it goes into depth on finding your UNIQUE attractiveness that is like no one else’s, it has become our readers’ favorite resource of all.

Sarah Jones
Sarah Jones
Sarah Jones is founder and CEO of Introverted Alpha; the premier dating coaching company for introverted men; featured by Forbes, Business Insider, Cosmo, and more. Pick up your free copy of Sarah's 22-page ebook inside the blue box just below.

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