Knowing how to make eye contact without being creepy helps you approach with ease.
Approaching an attractive woman is nerve-wracking for most men. The last thing you want is feeling awkward like you’re coming across the wrong way!
Today, I’m going to walk you through four steps to great eye-contact. This way, you can know how to make eye contact without being creepy.
Our goal today is to make sure you’re neither actually creepy nor afraid of being creepy even if you’re not. Both of those are common, understandable, and not a whole lot of fun.
So let’s address this together and help you feel more comfortable!
My personal daily business motto, applied to eye contact
Years ago when I started Introverted Alpha, this was a playful motto I had:
“Be smart. Don’t be weird.”
Here’s what it meant to me:
- Be smart = Be thoughtful, logical, and intuitive, seeing the big picture and the small picture at once.
- Don’t be weird = Don’t be overly aggressive or overly passive. Be clear, respectful, and relevant.
This also applies to dating because business and dating have attraction at their core.
According to Merriam-Webster, attraction is defined as “something that attracts or is intended to attract people by appealing to their desires and tastes.”
Attraction has to be there for either dating or business to work well. When we’re being weird, the attraction dynamic either gets weird too or falls apart altogether.
If we’re not weird, then we’re not creepy (yay!), and we don’t feel uncomfortable in a creepy way, among a whole host of other reliefs.
(Note: weird as in fun, playful, and quirky is GREAT. The weird that the motto warned against was the sleazy, creepy, and “off” kind.)
Onto our 4-Step Eye Contact Process that will show you how to make eye contact without being creepy…
Step 1: Remember the badass you are before you leave the house.
Whenever you’re about to go out, reflect on your Attractive Values and Attractive Factors, as found on page 8 of this free ebook.
These will not only help you feel more confident so you can hold good eye contact, but they will also improve your body language in general.
Your Attractive Values are the deepest values you hold dear, and they add depth and character that show through as a woman gets to know you.
Your Attractive Factors are your best and most visible qualities you get complimented on most, like your strong arms or your listening skills.
These are your most distinctive qualities, and you can find out what yours are in my ebook on finding your own uniquely attractive vibe.
This will help you understand what women would already find attractive about you. (Then, we can help take that to the next level in our program!)
When it comes to making a positive, attractive impression on a woman and intuitively knowing how to make attractive, strong eye contact without being creepy, guess what?
Understanding why and how you are distinctively attractive helps you feel on par with the woman you find attractive yourself.
Action Step: Download the free ebook, and do the exercise on page 8. Then, repeat your Values and Factors in the mirror each morning, while maintaining eye contact.
Step 2: Make relaxed eye-contact with people in general.
Once you’ve left the house, it’s time to build on your confidence by getting positive feedback without taking any risks. Awesome, right?
As you make your way towards your venue, make relaxed eye contact with people you see on the sidewalk and wherever you stop along the way.
As you make eye contact with someone, imagine that you already know and love that person. Just for fun. This will help strengthen your confidence and will also help your own relaxed charm naturally shine through.
Action Step: Make relaxed, pleasant eye-contact with everyone you see on your way to the venue and at the venue itself. As you share glances with people, play with feeling as if you know them already. Do that by focusing on what you already have in common.
For example, out of the seven billion people on this earth, the fact that you’re in the same place at the same time is quite serendipitous and bonding if you look at it.
As you gently practice this, you’ll slowly integrate how to make and playfully break eye contact without being creepy into your way of relating.
You will get some nods and smiles in response, which will boost your confidence for Step 3.
Step 3: Make eye contact with a woman you find attractive.
At this point, you’re in touch with what makes you attractive. You’ve been getting pleasant eye-contact and smiles from people you’ve crossed paths with tonight.
You are feeling more connected to the people around you than usual because of implementing the first two steps with boldness.
Action Step: Now when you see a woman you feel attracted to, make easeful eye contact with her, feeling your attraction (and attractiveness) as you do.
After these four steps, I’ll show you the subtleties of HOW to make confident eye contact without being creepy, according to your Attractive Values and Attractive Factors from Step 1.
Step 4: Revisit eye-contact with her long enough to get a feel for whether she feels attracted to you too.
Once she’s noticed you, she might be curious.
Action Step: Start paying attention to whether she seems to be looking back at you with a shy, pleasant, open, perhaps smiling face. If so, you’ve successfully initiated eye contact with her. You are ready to move closer to her and start a conversation.
Imagine the difference between what you’re doing here and what you’d done if you had not openly and easily made eye contact with your reflection, others, and her in a subtle and relaxed way beforehand.
That difference reflects in your mood and your own facial expression WHILE you’re holding eye contact with her. This matters!
According to The New York Times, there are 43 muscles in the human face. You cannot possibly control all those muscles near your eyes and mouth at will to appear relaxed and confident.
While a lot of guys try to fake confidence, you must actually FEEL relaxed and confident in order to initiate eye contact in an appealing way. You can discover much more about this here.
When you feel comfortable in your own skin, it naturally shows through and piques a woman’s interest in you. Then, eye contact feels natural, and larger amounts of eye contact start to feel more and more genuine.
Two Styles of Flirtatious Eye Contact
Now let’s talk about two styles of flirting according to your natural vibe: how to make eye contact in the best, most natural way for you.
Why stop at eliciting a relieved, “Yeah, he seems nice. He’s not creepy,” from a woman when we can inspire an excited, “Wow, I’m intrigued!”
Are you with me? Now, see which of these two styles suits you best:
Flirtatious Eye Contact for Quieter, Mysterious Guys:
If you’re on the quiet mysterious side, these may be some of your Attractive Values and Factors: Chillness, Thoughtfulness, and Gentleness.
Again, if you don’t know yours yet, get the free ebook.
If you’re naturally more mysterious, COVERT and INTRIGUING works best for you.
In Steps 3 and 4 of the 4-Step eye contact process above, you’ll not only be in touch with how to make eye contact without being creepy…
You will also be making eye contact with her more covertly, a flirtatious vibe between you, even if others don’t notice.
This works because of your nature. You’re naturally intriguing.
When you’re confident and know yourself, you become irresistible to many women who naturally prefer men like you. Gregarious guys are not the be-all, end-all!
(If you don’t know what I’m talking about, check out my hallmark article, “7 Reasons Introverted Men Are So Damn Attractive.”)
If a woman feels attracted to you, you’ll see her looking away first because of the intense yet relaxed confidence you’re bringing. As long as she’s smiling a little and seems happily shy or open to you, you’re good.
Flirtatious Eye Contact for Enthusiastic, Passionate Guys:
If you’re on the enthusiastic and passionate side, these may be some of your Attractive Values and Factors: Passion, Positivity, and Warmth.
Again, use the ebook to learn what your own qualities are.
If you’re naturally more enthusiastic, OPEN and INVITING eye contact works best for you.
Because your disposition is naturally warm, your direct eye-contact, for an appropriate amount of time, will feel and come across as more free and open, a clear sign to her of your interest.
When you’re feeling confident in your own attractiveness, it comes across as welcoming and inviting.
For women who are more attracted to a passionate vibe in a man, this is a green light for them getting warmer towards you.
They may still be shy at first. But they’re likely to seem more ready to open up around you than if you were more mysterious.
In Conclusion, How To Make Eye Contact Without Being Creepy
Based on your disposition, you can use eye contact to spark chemistry with women you’re attracted to.
Each disposition (mysterious or enthusiastic) draws out a different feeling with the woman you’re connecting with. The key is knowing your natural vibe and feeling the effect it has on her when you look at her. (Again, the free ebook helps so much with this!)
When you work with your natural charm and highlight what’s already great about you, you can establish eye contact in a way that’s not creepy or weird.
Instead, your style of eye contact suits you and is captivating to women who already prefer men like you.
Whether more covert and intriguing or more open and inviting, when it’s genuinely you, it hits the spot.
Now you know how to overcome social anxiety and make eye contact without being creepy.
More than that, you know how to make eye contact that makes you feel confident and strong and has women feeling happily weak in the knees around you.
What about all the other parts of attraction outside of eye contact?
- Here are flirting signs that show you whether she’s into you.
- Here’s how to best approach a woman as an introverted guy.
- Here is a 6,300-word conversation guide for introverted men.
Enjoy! And don’t forget to grab that ebook because it goes into depth on finding your unique attractiveness that is like no one else’s. It has become our readers’ favorite resource of all.
And to take everything to the next level of confidence and success in your dating life, consider our program Launch Your Dating Life.