Social Dancing - Meet Women

Tired of bars and clubs? Try these 5 awesome venues instead.

It’s time to get you meeting more women without resorting to bars and clubs.

In this article, I’ll cover the best places to meet women. You may want to open up this post as well on approaching women so you can know what to do once you arrive at these places.

Here is our list of the top 5 places to meet women in-person as an introverted guy (and you’re getting the inside scoop here, because these are the EXACT same venues we give our private clients):

  1. Partner Dancing
  2. Team Sports
  3. Classes
  4. Volunteering
  5. Parties

Why is each of these such an awesome venue? Let’s go through each one by one:

Option 1: Partner Dancing

Couple Dancing - Meet WomenPartner Dancing is one of the BEST places to meet women, hands down, period.

Reason being, you’re already in an embrace with them. You’re already holding them… that is the structure of the dance!

Also, the entire event is structured. Women EXPECT you to ask them to dance, and the EXPECT you to hold them.

Then after the dance, it is such a shorter distance to flirting and getting her number than it is at any other venue.

Specific Types of Partner Dancing: salsa, bachata, kizomba, blues dancing, swing dancing, tango, ballroom

When you’re a more reserved, introverted guy, it is especially important to meet women in places that help facilitate connection, offer a structure for your interactions, and help you feel closer to someone before you even say anything.

That’s the beauty of partner dancing.

Even if you never expected it, you may love it.

Partner dancing can become a great venue for you.

One of our past clients drove by a ballroom dancing place every evening on his way home from work.

Every time he saw the place out of the passenger window, he would feel a little tingle of nervous excitement in his belly at the thought of trying it out.

Even though he wanted to, he never took the plunge… for weeks that turned into months that turned into over a year.

He felt guilty for not pursuing it, but he just couldn’t seem to muster up the courage until our work together.

After a few weeks of working together, he was finally ready to pick up the phone and set up a lesson!

He set it up successfully, showed up, and LOVED it. The teacher was very warm and supportive, and the people he ended up dancing with socially were wonderful as well.

Ballroom dancing became such a big, important part of his life!

He even participated in competitions.

It didn’t hurt anything that even before he was very good at it, beautiful women were asking him to dance.

They were remembering him from the previous social dance, and they were being warm and enthusiastic with him.

Picking up partner dancing was a TOTAL game-changer for him, and he ended up meeting his now-girlfriend a few months after he took it up.

Find your ideal partner dancing venue in five easy steps:

  1. Consider the type of partner dancing you’re most intrigued by. Anything you’ve been wanting to try?
  2. Google “[your chosen partner dancing venue] [your city];” for example, “Salsa Dancing San Francisco.”
  3. Note the options Google pulls up for you, and check out reviews of the results on the first page or two.
  4. Set a date in the calendar to go to a class or private lesson, or if you’re already pretty experienced, just go straight to the social dance. Many venues have classes first and then social dances shortly after.
  5. On the day of the dance, show up and enjoy the new experience!


Option 2: Team Sports

Man Playing Frisbee - Meet WomenTeam Sports are #2 because they are physical, like dancing.

You’re not being physical together in the closed embrace of a dance, but you are being physical side-by-side or collaboratively on a team, which is still sexy.

Sexual chemistry is physical, so sweating together is hot! Also, you’re likely to meet more fit, active, happy women at dancing or sports.

Specific Types of Team Sports: flag football, beach volleyball, running group, hiking, city tours, yoga, pilates etc.

If you’re not into partner dancing (although I really encourage you to give it a try!), then your next best venue to meet women in a natural-feeling place is team sports.

Team sports and group activities are excellent, especially if you can relate to this fellow Introverted Alpha reader:

Perhaps the biggest problem is meeting new and different people that have the same interests and values as me… and that I’d like to date.

Bonding over a physical activity sparks chemistry.

Bonding over a physical activity you both like is a great way to make connections and move things along naturally. Doing this helps you get more dates with women who share your passions and interests.

Any hobbies will work for this honestly, but hobbies that are more active like running groups, yoga classes, and flag football add a visceral physical excitement that feels sexy and exciting.

In a study by Kristin McKinney, adrenaline was found to have an effect on arousal and attraction.

In one aspect of the study, some men were to meet women on an adrenaline-spiking suspension bridge, and others were to meet women in a calmer settings.

The adrenaline rush from being on the suspension bridge literally caused the men to feel more attracted to the women they met there.

McKinney writes, “Results indicated a significant positive correlation between adrenaline and attraction, which means as level of adrenaline increased, so did level of attraction.”

So when you meet women you’re being physically active with, sparks fly more easily than if you were doing something more passive.

Option 3: Classes

Cooking Class - Meet WomenClasses are awesome because you’re learning something new, which makes you feel adventurous and puts you alongside other adventurous people who love to learn.

For a lot of Introverted Alpha guys, learning is an important value for them, so that makes classes an even better place to meet like-minded folks.

Specific Types of Classes: cooking, cocktail-making, French, partner dancing, etc

Option 4: Volunteering

Classroom with Children - Meet WomenVolunteering is great if you have a big heart and want to meet compassionate women.

It’s a way to collaborate on something for the wider good, and that makes you feel closer, like you’re “together in this” — for a purpose beyond yourselves.

For people who are purpose-driven and compassionate, that is a strong bond to have right out of the gate.

Specific Types of Volunteering: building / repairing homes, helping kids, animals, elderly

Option 5: Parties

Host Pouring Champagne - Meet WomenParties are always a great place to meet women if you like getting dressed up and meeting new people in an environment where everyone expects to be social and mingle with new folks.

A lot of Introverted Alphas take pride in their style, having recently hired a stylist or simply taken a closer look at their wardrobe and updating it.

So being out at a party helps you feel confident and put-together as you talk to women who are gorgeous and stylish themselves. Also, if the party is centered around a theme, that gives you something to talk about right off the bat.

Specific Types of Parties: singles mixers, cocktail parties, charity galas, industry events

Bonus Venue for 6 Cities: If you live in New York, Boston, Washington D.C., Chicago, Los Angeles, or San Francisco; check out IVY, the “Social University” that doubles as a great way to meet women. They organize events for you with a combination of all of the above types (everything from team sports to volunteering to speaker talks to galas). Learn more about IVY, and check out their site as well.

What to do next:

Which of these venues excites you most?

Hop onto Google and search for “X Venue + Your City,” open a bunch of tabs, explore, and calendar a few events to try.

For example, if you’re dating in New York City and you’re curious about salsa dancing (there is such great salsa in New York!), you can google, “Salsa Dancing New York City” and get a big list of lessons and social dancing venues.

It takes 13 seconds to type it into Google and click on a few results.

Decide what place is most appealing to you, and give it a whirl. Even if you just go once, you’ll learn a lot about yourself, what you like, and the venue you’re testing out.

Then check out our approach guide and conversation guide for how to talk to these women once you get there!

You can also look specifically how to meet women socially through people you know, without feeling awkward in front of others. We also have a post about how to meet women at the gym.

For more internal headspace work, check out our article on overcoming fear of rejection in 3 steps, as well as our introvert dating mindset guide.