Small achievements can make a big difference in your confidence and vibe…
Many prospective clients I speak with during Exploration Calls know they need more confidence in order to achieve the type of dating lives they want; they just don’t know how to boost it.
That’s because they equate a “confidence boost” with a major accomplishment: earning a degree, getting a new job, or sparking a conversation with a beautiful woman in an elevator.
Yes, these major events can lift your self-esteem, but how often do they actually happen?
Our clients have shown us over and over that accumulating small wins allows them to feel more at ease and connect better with women.
The best part: these vibe upgrade opportunities are everywhere and you can start them right now.
We talk about your vibe here at Introverted Alpha a lot because it’s very powerful to understand how women experience you.
Today we’ll be covering some quick upgrades to your vibe, and if you’d like to take a deeper look at how you express yourself with women, the exercises on page 8 of our free ebook guide you through our three-step process for defining your unique vibe.
Let’s take a look at some examples…
5 Fast, Effective Ways to Upgrade Your Internal Vibe
These actions will help you shift into a more proactive, productive mindset, especially important if you find yourself in levels 1 or 2 of the “7 Levels Framework”.
As a result, the world appears more organized, joyful, and sensible to you. Your inner vibe will have more calm and less chaos.
1. Fix a small annoyance.
We all have things in our day that bug us again and again, even though they’re relatively quick fixes.
Maybe it’s getting a new shower caddy so that bottle of shampoo stops falling off the ledge onto your foot.
Maybe it’s leaving a stash of reusable grocery bags in your trunk because you never remember them.
Think of what that is for you, come up with a solution, and do it.
2. Write (but don’t send) a letter to someone.
Even after a relationship has ended, sometimes there are still things unsaid. It might be an ex-girlfriend, a family member, or a friend from your past.
If you find yourself returning to those relationships in your mind, or having imaginary conversations of what you would have said, try writing it down in a letter to that person.
The trick is you don’t have to send it.
In fact, some of those things may be better left unsaid, or it simply doesn’t make sense to reach out in real life.
The act of getting it out of your head and onto paper can be incredibly freeing.
3. Do something nice for “Tomorrow You.”
Think of a way to help out “Tomorrow You,” the guy who is going to wake up tomorrow in your house and your body and go to your job.
Does he always get hungry at work around 3 pm and could really use a snack? Will he be pissed he doesn’t have anything clean to wear to work when he wakes up tomorrow morning?
Do something that will make his life easier tomorrow.
Thinking of yourself in the third person might seem weird, but it can actually be a helpful trick for seeing yourself for who you are and treating that person with kindness.
4. Go out in nature.
It could be a major hike or a simple walk around your neighborhood.
You don’t need a dog or a bike or a podcast (although those things don’t hurt); It can just be you and yourself enjoying the day.
Any way you do it, getting out in nature has proven mental benefits.
If regular meditation isn’t a part of your routine, there are lots of apps like Headspace to guide you through the process and help you get started.
You can choose to clear your head, or focus your attention on something specific.
Many clients find meditating on their Values and Factors from our Charm Finder exercise helps them understand them even more.
5 Fast, Effective Ways to Upgrade Your External Vibe
These actions will help improve how others view you. Women will notice these small upgrades and feel a strong pull toward your new, fresh vibe.
6. Take stock of your wardrobe.
Here’s a quick way to assess and declutter your wardrobe:
1. Pull everything out of your closet and place it on your bed in groups of like items (pants with pants, t-shirts with t-shirts, etc.).
2. Take a look at each category and mentally rank items from most favorite to least favorite.
3. Ask yourself the following questions:
– Can the least favorite be donated?
– Should you buy a second of your favorite item in a different color because it looks so good on you?
– Is there any category that you have too much of where you can pare down to just your top 5?
– Is there any category that’s too sparse and you need to stock up?
4. Make a shopping list of things you need and set aside anything for donation before returning the rest to your closet.
7. Adopt a houseplant.
There’s something nice about having fresh greenery in your home, and a lot of plants are surprisingly low maintenance (I’m looking at you, succulents).
If you enjoy cooking, a small herb garden can be a lot of fun and serve more than just an aesthetic purpose.
8. Clean out your ride.
Toss any trash and take whatever’s been hanging in the trunk to its proper place.
Make sure the insurance and registration documents in your glove compartment are up-to-date and restock the items you like to keep on hand (gum, sunglasses, etc.).
Then either wash it yourself or take it to be professionally cleaned.
9. Do some easy meal prep.
A bit of thought into what you’ll be eating over the next week or so helps you stay on track with your health goals.
You don’t have to go whole hog and have every single meal stacked in Tupperware inside your fridge, but meal-planning has been shown to help people feel more organized and prepared.
Plus, you’ll be more inclined to cook your own meals, which is healthier and better for the budget compared to ordering in or dining out.
YouTube has tons of meal prep videos customized for different lifestyles and even grocery stores.
10. Get groomed.
Book a hair appointment, and if you have a stylist you trust (and you should), ask him or her if there are any tweaks to the usual that might suit you.
As far as facial hair is concerned, from our talks with many women, most tend to prefer their men clean-shaven or with a short beard (¼ inch), although there are always exceptions.
Summary: Small Confidence Boosts Equals a Better Vibe Around Women
This article isn’t intended to be a checklist.
Whether you do 1, 5, or all of the actions listed above, the important point is to feel a well-earned sense of accomplishment.
That way, you’ll have some positive energy to combat the stress you feel when you’re around an attractive woman.
For example, a previous client adopted a houseplant. He put it in his apartment window and its luscious green and blue colors immediately added life to the space.
The next time his friends came over, they commented on how nice the plant looked. This made him feel more comfortable, confident, and excited about having women over.
Just that small change made a big difference for him in how he felt in his home.
So take heart: you do not need a life-changing success to boost your confidence and improve your vibe around women.
There are small steps you can take right now that can have major payoffs tomorrow.
If you’d like to go deeper on this topic, here are our most in-depth guides on building confidence:
- Introverted Men Are Attractive: How To Internalize That
- Introvert Dating Mindset: Getting Your Headspace Right
The time you spend building confidence and improving your vibe will pay huge dividends further along in the dating process, whether you’re approaching women out-and-about, meeting someone new at a friend’s party, or sitting down to a first date with a woman you met online.
About the Author:
Amy has been an Alpha Advocate with us for the past 2 years (she just had her second anniversary!). During calls with potential clients, she carefully listens to each situation and shares her honest thoughts on how each guy can improve his dating life and whether or not our program is the right fit.