Client & Reader Testimonials

18K Words of Feedback from Over 200 Client & Readers!

This 18K-word page has been six years in the making! We have an internal doc with over 100 pages of several hundred clients giving testimonials, and that’s nowhere near all of them. It’s impossible to capture every single testimonial because they happen all the time, from all angles, in coaching calls et cetera. 

But, that’s not helpful to you if you can’t see any testimonials at all! So we’ve hand-selected several quotes from over 200 men that could be very helpful for you if you’re considering working with us.

These men are precious, and their stories and thoughts are precious! Enjoy diving in. :)

Table of Contents

Feedback

  1. Client Life Changes Due to Program
  2. Feedback on 1:1 Coaching Program Experience
  3. Feedback on Specific Programs and Resources
  4. Feedback on IA Overall

Stories

  1. Why Clients Joined
  2. Women Initiating with Clients
  3. Client Success Write-In’s
  4. Ripple Effects into Social Life and Overall Confidence
(To see the below in Google doc form, go here.)

Mindset Changes Due to Program

Big Changes After A Matter of Weeks

Even after a few weeks, I feel my perspective on many aspects of daily life has broadened ten-fold.

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It’s amazing to me how far I’ve come in the past couple months. Actually attaining the full life I want socially and romantically feels so much more believable now it feels like a journey on a road that I can actually walk now, and not like a massive cliff I have to climb or a river with no bridge that I have to fjord. I just need to occasionally look back and see how far I’ve come, and use that as motivation to keep the boulder rolling so to speak.

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It feels like a superpower. It honestly does. Like I don’t even know a better way [to describe it].

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I’ve had a few events occurring during this last week that normally would have resulted in somewhat of a panic but this time, I’ve stayed pretty much at an even keel and quite calm. Everything is moving forward and I am beginning to feel that I am becoming more used to stay at the same level. If I move from one place to another, I immediately feel it and adjust or shift elsewhere. Sometimes, it feels as if I am a voyeur to my own events for a brief moment and then I participate again in my life. It’s cool!

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The best part of the program so far has been changing some patterns that I had, thinking there were only a few guys that had this raw talent for attracting women and you don’t have to look like Brad Pitt in order to get the girl that you actually want.

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Since the culture I grew up in defined success with women as having a successful marriage, and the fact that I had not achieved that, I was looking at myself as a failure with women. I realized that I am NOT a failure with women. I really see that I actually am very attractive to many women and that lots of women really like me. I realized that I just needed to relax and trust that fact, which has made a huge difference in the way I interact with women.

Felt Very Empowered to Follow Process

This is a skill that you can learn. This is an area of your life that you can get a grip on, but until you’ve dipped your toe in the water, it’s impossible to really know how deep it really is and just how much there is to explore, but believe me there is so much stuff that you will learn if you’re starting like I was with such little experience. 

Really what you come out of this with is a choice. It doesn’t matter where you start and it doesn’t necessarily matter where you end up at the end. What you come out of this with is knowing that you have the ability and the choice to progress this area of your life, to get to where you want to be. 

That’s incredibly empowering. It just leaves you feeling so confidently you when interacting with people. You don’t worry about not knowing what to do. You just follow through with the process. You enjoy making interactions and it just makes everything such a win-win situation.

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I just know I’m going to continue to grow, and I’m not even worried about women anymore because I know that everything I’m doing is making me more attractive everyday and I choose someone to have in my life.

Dating Life Changes Due to Program

New Confidence Leading to New Opportunities

When it came to a woman, I always thought, ‘She’s too attractive for me,’ or some other excuse. But now, I’m aware of who I am, I’m aware of my strengths and weaknesses, but from a positive standpoint, I know what I have to offer, I know what I can contribute to the world and to a relationship. And having that confidence really allows you to pursue what you truly want, and maybe opportunities that you wouldn’t have allowed yourself to.

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As a result of the program thus far, I no longer envision my future the way I used to. It has opened my eyes to the seemingly endless dating opportunities laid in front of me and I am now excited, rather than afraid, of what the future holds. In identifying and developing my attractive factors and learning the skill involved with every process of approach, I know I’m fully capable of capitalizing on the dating opportunities I would’ve never known existed.

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After the program, I really elevated my standards, and really told myself, no, that’s not good enough, and this is specifically what I want, and I deserve to have what I want. And obviously not from a place of entitlement, but you know, if I execute and work on myself and the best possible version of myself, then yes, there’s no reason why I should settle for less than what I want, or what I most desire. Yeah, I think that has really allowed myself to open myself up for an opportunity that maybe I would’ve not been confident enough to pursue.

Structural Approach to Dating Provides Changes That Last

There’s a shift in how I approach dating structurally. The program makes it a lot more structured with clear steps and mindsets that last beyond the initial coaching.

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It totally transformed my ability to connect with people, I think in dating, but also just in general, and I really, really, really appreciated that.

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If you were to have told me a year ago that it would have been this easy to start dating somebody I liked, I wouldn’t have believed it…

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I just feel amazed and in awe of the changes happening in me. I don’t have anything to say beyond that! LOL! 

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The biggest change that I feel is that I have become more relaxed. I don’t know how it happened or when, but what you have done is short of alchemy, it’s pure magic.

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I think about what I’m supposed to do, the coaching and the skills that I’ve learned and got from the team and I just implement it. This basically leaves your mind feeling so much clearer. It’s not lost in the emotions. You’re not going round on an endless loop of, What do I do, what do I do, what do I do? 

You know what you need to do. You have the clarity of following the process in terms of making a connection, reading the effect that it’s having on someone and progressing through in a way that allows you to keep the headspace to let who you are shine through so that you basically interact and offer to the other person or the rest of the world who you truly are. 

It just leaves you so comfortable and confident in who you are and that you’re equal in this. You very much go out of this knowing that you’re a great person and you’re just going out to explore what the other person’s like. To see whether there’s a genuine connection.

Can Approach and Connect With People Better Now

I have a healthy appreciation for my qualities, a solid understanding of how to approach women in a genuine and confident manner, and I’m going out and meeting new people more consistently.

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I am more confident about approaching women I am attracted to, and I have connected with people and made new friends by stepping out of my comfort zone and exploring new venues.

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I actually found that I don’t have too much trouble now approaching people and talking in informal social situations where people are clearly there to socialize. I’ve been going to Friday beginner’s dances put on by my dance school, and I talked to people I’ve been introduced to and never talked to, as well as people I’ve never talked to (people newer than me to the dance school).

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Walking around every day, I know I’m going to have fun and touch people’s lives, and that hopefully they’ll touch mine, and they do. I meet people every day that otherwise I would’ve just walked on by, with blinders on. And I enjoy the spirit of people so much more than I did, just six months ago, or even just six weeks ago.

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Because of what I’ve learned in the program, I’m interacting with the world in a much more positive way. In retrospect, with friends and dates, I used to get a sense for someone else’s vibe and ‘play off of them’. I rarely established my own vibe in social interactions unless I was very close with the person I was with.

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I am enjoying people more now than I ever have before.

Dating Demystified, Small Wins Stacking Up 

I think my current biggest internal result came from seeing progress and good things happening from actions I’m taking. Small actions add up, like making eye contact and smiling, saying something simple to approach a woman, incorporating more touch, or sending short fun messages over online dating or messaging. 

And the more I do them, the more I find it fun and easy. LYDL definitely demystified a lot in how to build attraction, and it seems I’m only scratching the surface. At least, now that the door is open, I can march down the rest of the way.

Before and After: Headspace

From Pressure to be Extroverted to Comfort in Own Skin

First and foremost, it’s being comfortable with who I am and not trying to be someone else, and I think that was always my big struggle was having this incorrect assumption that women wanted certain things from a guy, and I always tried to do what very extroverted outgoing guys would do to try to impress women, and it just didn’t feel authentic to me.

And so I think I’ve grown more comfortable with who I am and recognizing there’s nothing wrong with me for not being super outgoing, and I have my own unique aspects of my own personality that I can let shine through, and those are much more compelling to tell my story.

From Tons of Pressure on First Dates to Unattached To Outcome

I feel like for me, the first date before was always This is going to be the ONE SHOT to make the next few months or years of my life happen. It’s all reliant on that one night… 

And now it’s just completely different. Maybe it doesn’t. Maybe it’s an enjoyable night over drinks or coffee that there isn’t any attraction or chemistry, but it’s still a fun experience, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

From Worrying He’d Settle to Dating Being A Fun Part of Life

I was at risk of settling. I felt frustrated and lost in this area of my life. Almost every face-to-face encounter I had some attraction towards, I was not able to progress. 

But now, it’s not something I’m worrying about. I’m enjoying exploring, and at a personal level, I’m very proud of myself.

From Recurring Nightmares To Empowering Dreams

I have one very positive news. The habit of reading my values and factors every morning has had an unexpected side effect. One of my factors is intelligence, but growing up I always had the loser mentality, I never believed in myself, never believed in my intelligence and mental abilities. It haunted my waking moments, as well as my dreams. My worst nightmares are that I am dreaming that I am back in school, and there is a test of quiz and I am unprepared. Even now, a decade later since I graduated high school, I still have nightmares. I made this gloomy introduction to put things into context. 

Since I last wrote you, I had a dream where I was back in school, and there was a test, and, for the first time in my life, I knew the answers and felt totally confident and prepared. 

From Self-Effacing to Graciously Accepting Compliments

Now when someone gives me a compliment, I just graciously accept it. Whereas before, I really did not feel worthy. I was constantly self-effacing. And now six weeks later, I do feel worthy of that compliment. 

From Intimidated by What He Wanted to Confident/Clear About It

I think I was afraid or I was intimidated by what I actually wanted, and maybe didn’t have the clarity or the insights to actually know what I wanted, which I think a lot of people don’t know, maybe. A lot of people really don’t sit down and take enough time to think about what they actually want. Maybe they have an illusion of what they want, or maybe it’s not necessarily even true to themselves, and I think the program not forced me, but allowed me to have the time and headspace to sit down and figure out what that was.

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I know what I want now. I know exactly, because I was able to think and reflect upon what I wanted in women, and what I wanted out of a relationship.

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I have started to notice the mindset that I really am a catch, and that will only continue to grow, which is quite powerful.

Before and After: Social and Dating Life

From “Game Played Around Me” To Confidence with Women

When I first messaged you to inquire about IA, I felt like there was a game being played around me and yet I had no idea how to play myself. I would date, not hear back. Or I would write endless messages that led nowhere. Now I’m totally confident and relaxed and naturally connecting with women. I’ve really come a long way in just 4 short months. THANK YOU! 

From Missing Women’s Signals To Reading Them Clearly 

I have started to see the signals that women like me, something which I was quite blind to. Suddenly I started to see the smiles, the interest. I think they were always there, but totally missed them! Of course, they might have also come from the program, and I am now projecting this confident vibe in a backwards fashion :)

From Tech Industry / Guy Friends Only to Natural with Women

Now what’s interesting here is just kind of being around women a lot more now and appreciating all the beauty and femininity (that’s a proper word right?) I can sense some more confidence building up. Like being able to make more eye contact, smiling, and learning how to gauge a reaction. It kind of makes being around and interacting with women a lot more natural, compared to how my life has been post college working in the tech industry and having mostly guy friends. So that’s kind of awesome :)

From Home Alone Every Night to Carving Out Time For Home! 

Before working with you, I was at the house alone, telling myself I have to get out more, and now I’m like, I have to stay home a couple of night this week because I have this thing. I have to finish some stuff I’ve got this project I’m working on, and I’m like, I have to find time to finish this.

From No Clue How To Flirt to Dating Is A Fun Activity Now

Before Enrollment: I notice my fair share of women making eye contact (at least I like to think so), but conversations are my weak point. Being an introvert, small talk is not one of my fortes. I have no clue how to flirt, or escalate touch. Also, all the relationships I’ve had, the girl made it very obvious that she wanted to be with me. I want to change that, and approach women that I’m intrigued by, and explore connections that seem interesting to me. Hence, when I came across Sarah’s website, I was very excited.

During Program: Dating is a fun activity now. Just another part of my life. Dating is no longer something that worries me. I don’t have thoughts that I’ll settle. Dating is so chill now, that I’m not in a hurry to find a relationship. I’m exploring. It’s just another fun part of my life, and if it gets overwhelming (yes overwhelming), I stop doing it until it’s fun again. I don’t even have time to do all the first dates that I’ve agreed to. I’m reserving second dates for really special girls =)

Whole Program Experience

“You’re all such a team of warm, genuine and caring people.”

All of the people that I’ve met and encountered at Introverted Alpha are amazing, just the way you present yourselves and put yourselves forward and deliver the material. The material content is truly stunning. I cannot think of anyone ever that I have met or know of that I would really have entrusted this bit of my life to. You’re all such a team of warm, genuine and caring people. When you’re in the process, you just feel like the Introverted Alpha team, and your coach in particular, just so totally have your back. It’s just such a safe space in which to develop and have these conversations. It felt like that for me the whole way through. That was deeply reassuring from the moment I signed up and all the way through to my last coaching call.

“I have been finding it extremely helpful in clarifying things.”

Keep doing what you are doing. You have put together a great program, unlike a lot of things that are out there. I’m about halfway through, and I have been finding it extremely helpful in clarifying things in my life so far.

“I was really impressed with the whole program.”

Completely objectively I was really impressed with the whole program. I like the format as far as the progression of the phases. Especially for people like me who are Level 1 sad sacs or hoping for better ;). And some of the modules were written so well! I was preaching to my friends… I learned this cool thing that I think you could benefit from. Customer service was awesome. Being flexible with my work trip was so nice. The website was really easy to use. Like that it was google drive so I could do it wherever.

“I can’t remember ever being so comfortable in my own skin.”

I can’t remember ever being so comfortable in my own skin than I have since starting the IA program. Having an understanding of my values and factors, building habits and practices around that have really helped me feel more confident and grounded.

“The Best Skills Development Program I Have Come Across”

I have to say the IA program is The Best skills development program I have come across. I have seen other men’s programs or newsletters which are created by male experts. The integrity of this information is so much more solid and healthy to men and women. You and Sarah should be very proud of the services and help you are providing. I really believe this is a program that all men should be involved within regardless of their age. Again thank you and I look forward to all the information Sarah and you have to share. 

“It’s Like Unwrapping A New Present Each Week”

The way that the course is rolled out is you open each layer. It’s like unwrapping a new present every week when you get them modules and the material released. It was just such an absolute highlight of the week. It was so empowering and it just gave you huge senses of relief as well as you covered a new topic and you certainly went, Oh wow, this is a thing. This is how it works and this is how you deal with this situation or this is what you can do towards it. For me, it was just such a continuous journey of discovering new things. That made it really, really special.

Value of Program Materials

“It helped me figure out what I need to focus on.”

The 7 levels framework I liked because it helped me note where I was at / break down my thoughts to understand where they are coming from. The first 2 modules where I was finding out my values and factors. The limiting beliefs and levels. All of that put together was really great because it helped me figure out what I need to focus on and how to be positive and how to be self-reliant. Also a compass to show me what feels good and what doesn’t. Before I would probably silence by voice and now I feel more comfortable talking about the positive or negative. I wasn’t communicating my feelings as well and wasn’t as comfortable expressing my feelings as I am now.

“There is SO MUCH covering basically all aspects of a man’s life.”

There is SO MUCH info & suggestions from Sarah, covering basically all aspects of a man’s life lol. And I would think any guy will find at least a few things they never thought of before that will really help out. For example, lots of good stuff about your car, clothing, et cetera, which for the most part I felt I was at the right level… but then the suggestions for getting house plants was truly amazing… I have been living in my apartment now for 11 years and not once did it occur to me to spruce up the place with some plants… but after hearing Sarah talk about it, it made a lot of sense. So now I have 3 new roommates and it totally transformed how I feel about the apartment! 

“All the written material is consistently good.”

All the written material is consistently good and written in a way I understand well.

“I will happily do this program all over again.”

As I am writing this email I am re-reading the transcript of your lessons, and there is so much more information, so much advice and wisdom, that I am feeling grateful for. I will happily do this program all over again once I am done with it.

“AMAZINGLY helpful when I don’t know what to do.”

Your material has been AMAZINGLY helpful when I feel like I don’t know what to do, I can go through mostly module 1/2/3 for mindset, and the later modules for small tactics.  Like, right now we’ve scheduled the date.. so now what? Well, I just look in module 10 and remember ah, I just need to keep in contact with her and talk about cool stuff.  So, thanks again! 

Favorite Part of Program?

“Finding someone I genuinely liked… gearing up to ask her out.”

Man, so many. I think the best one for me was finding someone I genuinely liked who also matched my avatar, and geared up to asking her out.

“The process […] is honestly so valuable and affirming.”

The focus on self; more specifically, your encouragement to focus on what I can control (how I look and feel) as opposed to what I can’t (how other people react to you). The process of knowing and being comfortable with you who are and what makes you great before doing anything else is honestly so valuable and affirming, and an excellent way to start this journey.

“Quite a lot, actually!”

Quite a lot, actually! If I had to specify, I’d say both recognition of my ability to recognize which Level I’m in and, if it’s a more destructive one, being able to pull myself out of it systematically. I also took my dating life by the horns and sent out online messages (when I probably would have been a lot more passive before) and mentally prepared to ask someone out. Haven’t had the opportunity yet, but I am ready for it when I do, which is a lot more than I could have said before taking the course. 

“It’s just incredibly empowering.” 

It’s just incredibly empowering. It leaves you feeling really good about who you are. It leaves you feeling, I think, much calmer and with more headspace.

“Being the hero, the benevolent badass, the good guy.”

I don’t know if aspirational is the word, but I think there’s an aspect of every guy that dreams of being the hero, of being the good guy… If you dream of being the hero, the benevolent badass, the good guy who is true and authentic, but also is confident with women, but you think that that’s just the stuff of fairy tales or films, it really is not!

Support of IA Coach

Feeling Supported and Taken Care of by Coach

I always feel so much more energized after our calls. I feel like I’ve made so much progress and I am leagues ahead of where I’ve ever been in my life. It’s baffling to me that I am having such FUN conversations on dating apps already!

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To say I enjoyed our session today would be to do you a great disservice – it was way beyond that. It helped immensely. Afterwards I felt that exhausted relief one feels after a long-held tension is lifted. I think my shoulders dropped about 18 inches…just a rough estimate ;-)

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My coach has been so great to me, I feel very supported and taken care of by her. I know I’ve asked some gnarly questions and she’s given me a lot of great responses and advice, I take it all to heart and appreciate it. I especially liked how she handled a string of messages (And there were a lot) with a friend of mine that I had feelings for. She called me out on how needy and pushy I was being when I was constantly expressing my feelings to her, without being disrespectful or patronizing, which is not easy to do.

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It just made the whole process thoroughly enjoyable. It provides you the support and a little bit of pressure to help you keep taking small steps out of your comfort zone, which if you’re going to do this is inevitably going to be part of the process in enabling you to grow and get where you want to go. It’s done in such a nice way that it’s I think genuinely one of the best things I’ve ever done in my life.

Level of Care and Attention via Email

Wow, you’ve completely exceeded my expectations!  I’ve read through your email and comments.  Multiple times. You clearly put a lot of effort into this.  And you’ve given me a lot to think about. I was nervous this weekend, but now I just feel excited! You’re so awesome!  I can’t wait to dive deeper. :)

Getting Direct, Honest Feedback from Coach

It’s been a fun thing to look forward to talking with you each week. You get 5 stars. You were very personable and easy to talk with. I decided from the beginning I wasn’t going to sugar coat anything because I think I need help and I think this person can help me and you definitely rose to the occasion and helped me out a bunch.

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Your response [to what I shared] was brilliant -not patronizing, not sugary sweet. I felt like I was talking to an equal, and with your experience, and just by virtue of not being me, you gave me a perspective I could not have found by myself.

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I’ve enjoyed the vast majority of this and there are so many things I NEVER would have noticed/learned on my own for growing, even in basic conversation with someone else or sitting down in therapy sessions. I don’t think anything would have come out to light that was like, Oh well you have a couple of odd tendencies in different modes of communication –it was really nice to have that brought to light so it can be worked on.

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I appreciate how direct you are. You didn’t spare me, and I thank you for that.

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I appreciate your rework of the profile I labored over for hours. I immediately could see how your changes made it more appealing, women-friendly, and inviting.

Value in Coaching Call Recordings 

I have all the coaching sessions on my IPOD and listen to then daily for inspiration and there is always something I find in there that is magic.

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As we complete our coaching, I’m very happy with where I’m at right now. These coaching calls we’ve recorded are gold mines of information that are going to keep I’m going to hold them near and dear to my heart and revisit them frequently…

On Receiving Specific 1:1 Help

1:1 calls have been awesome, your feedback especially and it’s been catered to me, which is totally helpful.

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You always helped to explain things to me in a way that was specific to me.

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It’s not always easy to apply it to myself, as each person is different. You were very helpful with that.

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Sometimes it was spooky how insightful you were. I really appreciated that insight.

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I am so glad we got to have our discussion today the advice that I was able to adsorb through the call was truly powerful and I am excited to put it into effect.

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Going through the values exercise, the coach is able to guide you so you’re not alone and also offer suggestions, I don’t think I could have picked on that on my own.

Overall Feedback on Coaching Component

The coach always lets you come to your own conclusion by offering suggestions. I liked that the best.

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The 1:1 calls is what’s unique about the program.

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I found the overall material very useful, but I want to say the 1:1 coaching is even more so.

Results from Coaching

Once we alleviated those heavy burdens, I got this lightness and freeness. I do have that now, and I walk down my path, and I’m more at peace, and I think I’m happier, and I think people see that in me. I seem to get a better response from people, as far as more compliments, which I can accept better now.

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There was a shift that happened that brought me closer back to myself than I had been in a while. I feel more solid, steady, and I recognize this feeling it’s something I had lost. Thank you for helping me get that back.

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Overall anxiety levels are a lot lower, I’m less focussed on other people and more on myself and how I’m feeling. I’m more relaxed at salsa and am seeing far more positive responses from the women I talk with and dance with.

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Compared to this time last year, I have changed dramatically. Now life is opening up before me and I can begin to be the man I have always desired, but never thought I could be. Sometimes it takes someone to show me the door and tell me it’s okay to walk through, before acknowledging it to myself. 

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I recently found a recording you sent me from some coaching we did back last year & I wanted to thank you for your role in helping me get to where I am in my life at the moment… What a change in just one year!

I am now in a position where I can pick my choice of software engineering & architecture projects from high profile, creative companies who are more than happy to pay me handsomely for my time, I am building some really positive, powerfully strong relationships with some great people & have found myself a great mentor who is bringing my business concept before one of his contacts who regular sells out at huge training venues.

That just leaves finding that one special girl. The search is still going on for that one but this weekend I have a beautiful woman taking a 4 hour train journey just because she wants to hang out with me. I’m so excited!

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I had some great experiences this summer with people, everything was really awesome, so I really appreciate everything y’all did. I wouldn’t have gotten to the point with the person I’m talking about if it wasn’t for Adriana really helping me with a lot of that stuff, so I really value everything y’all did. 

Level of Investment

More Than Worth The Price Tag

If I got this one insight about myself like 6 pages into the first lesson of the course, what else am I going to learn (fyi, if you told me up-front that this one insight about myself was all I’d get out of the program I’d still happily pay double the price of the course to get it).

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In my first week, when my coach reviewed my text message thread and told me exactly what had gone wrong and how to fix it, I thought, I would have paid double. Just this insight has made the whole investment worth it and then some.

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I really cannot understate just how grateful I am for the program and to have met you and done this process. It’s just been so huge for my life – it’s gonna pay for itself 100 times over. I just want to thank you for that and I look forward to being in touch later this year and maybe in the new year.

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I almost can’t even like put it into words the shift from where my mindset was to where it is now. It’s literally insane, and that’s awesome. If I could have known what working with my coach was going to be like, I would have happily paid double, happily.

Was Afraid about Investment; Gave As Gift to Self; Got Married!

{Robert, from audio testimonial call}

Considering Program: It’s been over a year since I set my goal to make progress in my dating life and I haven’t achieved anything really. If I look at my personal goals and plans from last year I’ve practically accomplished everything else that I wanted to do but not this. It seems I can’t do it alone, I can’t teach myself this and it’s too difficult and perhaps scary to do alone; I know I need someone to support me.

I’m sure I would probably benefit from your program and would like to do it if I can find a way to make it work, the issue for me is two things; firstly being comfortable with the cost and second being sure I have the time.

Before Enrolling: I know if I don’t do it now I’ll regret it and I totally understand that there’s never a time when I’ll feel perfectly ready but I don’t want to find excuses and be in the same place next year.

I’m excited and totally convinced this is the right thing to do now but I’m also completely terrified (particularly seeing the program outline of what I’ll be doing!). I’m so afraid I’ll fail myself or there’s something I won’t be able to do and I think I will need some reassurances from you and the ability to talk through some details if we can schedule a chat.

After Enrolling: The one thing that I forgot to say when I said it was my birthday next week, is that I am so happy I’m doing this. It’s hands down the best birthday present I could possibly have given myself and that has to be a reflection on you and the IA team. – R.C.

Marriage Announcement: Long story short, following numerous trips to see each other later, it turns out that plane journey was the best idea I’ve ever had. We got married 3 weeks ago! :)

When Accustomed To Doing Things on One’s Own

If you’re really frustrated, you may figure it out on your own, but I think working with Introverted Alpha can drastically speed up how quickly you can figure it out and feel comfortable. And that was totally worth it for me to go through the program, and my life has totally changed in a really short amount of time.

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If you’re wondering about whether this is really worth it, whether you’ll get out of this what it is you think you really want, then I can tell you that this is genuinely worth every penny or every dollar of doing this. If this is something that you will look back on and feel so proud of yourself for going through it and completing it and so happy that you chose to do it, then you’re like me. If it’s just something you didn’t have a handle on that you chose to tackle this area of your life, it will be really good. There is more material and content and support in this program than I think you can imagine that it’s possible to convey up front.

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I was talking with my friend, and he asked me is it worth it… ? Honestly it really is, it stresses me out thinking about not having it because every interaction I have I can go back and debrief and know what I’m doing.

Response When Asked by Friend Whether It’s Worth It

Wanted to give you kind of an update / materials feedback and how it’s been starting to help! Maybe a month or so ago I was talking with a friend who had been the one to point me to your website to begin with, about how I had signed up (he was not a customer at the time, but I believe signed up for the First Touch To First Kiss course just recently)…his main question to me was about the price tag for the program and getting my take on the value of the course based on my results. 

So I was pretty upfront that up to that point, I had not really done any implementation in the wild and so could not really speak to any results… however having gone through most of the course at that point (and now completed all 12 modules, and feel like Sarah’s voice is forever embedded in my head lol) there is a lot going on with the full program. 

 And I actually feel much better having all the material, instead of just the First Touch To First Kiss piece let’s say… because of the end-to-end framework approach. 

I can see how all the pieces (modules) work together quite nicely… and the analogy in my mind is compared to being physically fit & healthy where you need to develop good habits in terms of diet, exercise, and sleep… after really getting that part of my life in order I can easily see how all the components are needed, and skimping on one will likely negate the positive effects of the other. So with the program it’s my internal vibe, external presentation, preparation, and then execution!

Benefits to All Areas of Life

More Than Just Dating Success  

This program is way more than just dating success. I had so much success in other parts in my life, social and professional, as a result of this program. Just calling it a dating training will not justify its awesomeness! On the professional side I turn myself from an Amateur Project Engineer to Senior member of the team. Now I can manage customer meetings and issues on my own, without any help. 

IA Coach Helps with Other Parts of Life

I know it’s for dating, but you guys are helping me out with other parts of my life.

Self-Esteem Has Ripple Effects into Whole Life

I’ve developed a lot more self-esteem, and this has had ripple effects in every area of my life. I spend a lot more time doing the things I love (volleyball, writing fiction, visualizing a great life, doing yoga) and a lot less time doing the things I don’t like. I spend more time with the people I value and who value me, and less time with people who don’t meet those criteria. I’ve even started enjoying my job a lot more, because I’ve been pretty blunt about what I want from my job, and my CEO has been pretty open to making that happen. 

Feedback on Specific Programs and Resources

Specific IA Approach within Programs

Didn’t Have To Change Who He Was

I wanted to attract women that were right for me, and I think part of the program that I loved and that really spoke to me was that I don’t have to change who I was, I just had to reflect upon who I already was and build my confidence in that person, then go from there. Rather than using any tactics or strategies that didn’t seem genuine or like who I was.

Very Little Experience Coming In; Now Dating Is A Solid Skill

I think in terms of the program itself, the level of the material and content and care and detail that has gone into it really shines. For me, I went into this with very little experience and as a consequence, when you walk into the unknown, you don’t know how much there is to discover. I didn’t know how much there was to discover. There was so much that I learned, so much I learned was skill based. So many different areas and aspects of my life that the program touched from sorting out my own demands to understanding how that relates to my interactions with other people through doing practical skills on reading women and touch and messaging and online dating, face-to-face dating.

Resonant With Orderly Approach

What I like about your system is that it brings them in an order. I think having this order in the back of your mind can help you trigger your attention in situations, where changing levels can be rewarding. Also thinking in terms of these levels can help you align your behaviour with what you want to achieve. I think you did a great job coming up with that!

Actually Useable for Self-Identified “Self-Improvement Junkies”

I think it’s easy to have this idea or concept of what you want to change and become like a self-improvement nerd in a way, where you just study and you read all these articles and work on different things, but you don’t actually take any action. And I think the program is great because it forced me to get out there and actually initiate conversations. Really dig down deep and examine like, where are the specific places for me that I can meet women, what specific type of woman am I looking for.

Clients on Results of IA Programs

Become A Benevolent Badass

When you go through the Introverted Alpha Program, it basically helps you to become that man or certainly to point you in the right direction. There is a place in the modern world for men like that. Basically, this teaches you to become your own version of one of those guys. That, for me, was really nice as well, the fact that there is a place with a genuine benevolent badass, a truly authentic good guy. 

Launch Your Dating Life

I was 4-5 dates in with a wonderful woman and failed to create/maintain chemistry. I’m a pretty serious person by nature. IA taught me how to approach woman, start a conversation, and get a number. One women is traveling from Nashville to visit me over 4th of July weekend.

 

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I just feel really content with life right now and how things are going, and to your credit I would say this course, Introverted Alpha was definitely instrumental in that because it’s really demystified attraction for me, that’s kind of how I put it. 

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You’ve taught me what to say in messages. I’m no longer aimlessly messaging women hoping for an opportunity to set up a date. I can lead the conversation and quickly set up an in-person date, which is the goal. Check out this woman. She noticed my new suave messaging strategy. This last message tells me most guys don’t know how to message women. Using IA’s Module for online dating, the messaging strategy made it simple and natural, and women notice. ;)

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About halfway through the program, I really felt confident in being able to match with somebody on Tinder or Bumble, and with just a few short messages, be able to set up a date and meet them in person.

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The term approach has a new meaning for me.  I don’t really approach anymore.  It just happens.  People just talk to me (girls and guys).  Out of these conversations, I progress to initiate touch with girls that are a 7 or above on my ideal woman scale.

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I don’t even have time to do all the first dates that I’ve agreed to.  I’m reserving second dates for really special girls =)

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I made eye contact, I looked right at her and didn’t break away, gave her a little smile. And she came over to me and said hi, and we talked.

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You have not only inspired and encouraged me but have opened new doors which I never knew existed. And for that, I am truly blessed. Thank you.

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All in all, this is more progress I have made with someone than I have ever done in the past including all those awkward first dates that would just fizzle out quickly. When I said goodbye to her last night and went back to my car, I couldn’t help but take a moment and feel really happy about what I did and how I’ve changed since the beginning of the program. I know I still have room to grow and improve, but this whole thing does not feel as weird or scary as it used to for me.

First Touch To First Kiss

I’ve really enjoyed the material in FTFK and the logical progression built into this program. Your website, blog ,e-books, and course have been both enjoyable and informative to contemplate. This information is organized in a way which gives clarity to the overall roadmap while also defining the hazards and navigation details to confidently traverse the path ahead. 

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FTFK helped solidify the way I view myself and romantic relationships, giving me confidence and clarity in the pursuit of love and the normal rituals and routines of being in a relationship. It doesn’t end… the principles taught in FTFK and your writings on IA are a key part of how I sustain and strengthen our relationship: the constant negotiation of boundaries and ongoing seduction and wooing of my girl. FTFK helped me understand the psychology of it from the woman’s point of view and provided a structure for me to understand and act on all that.

IA's Free Materials

IA Ebook, “Why PUA Doesn’t Work for Introverts & What Works Instead”

This is, without a doubt the very best eBook, I have ever had a chance to learn from.

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Thank you very much for including the link to the eBook Why PUA Doesn’t work for Introverts and What Works Instead. After reading so many other PUA articles from many other authors, this eBook rings true to me and how I see myself with women.

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I really enjoy your website and I’ve only been browsing for 10 minutes. The ebook is a guide on finding your own authentic vibe, becoming awesome, and attracting quality women based on that. That right there is a top 5 opening of anything I have ever read. It’s especially pertinent as I fit the profile. Women are the bee’s knees but I focus on building my career, staying in shape, or literally anything else because women are also terrifying to me. Seriously, what is that about? In any case, I wanted you to know I find your website both brilliant and incredibly clever so thank you for providing a service that is so clearly needed.

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I wanted to thank you for your e-mails and e-book. I haven’t finished the e-book yet but so far I find your approach really interesting and much more attuned to the way I am than the whole PUA stuff I have read in the past, which really didn’t feel right to me at all. 

IA Dating Skills Assessment 

Your assessment is spot on…. Seriously, y’all hit the nail on the head.  Very interesting and accurate assessment.  I look forward to learning from you.

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I’d say that you’re bang-on in that assessment… Thanks for your insight. I am eagerly awaiting to see how we can improve my skills.

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That sounds spot on. Thank you for the feedback.

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I was pleasantly surprised at how accurate the survey was, and appreciated how positively you provided the feedback.

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Thanks so much for this incredibly detailed and thoughtful response!

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Thanks for the response and helpful information. Yes, I would say this is an accurate assessment of my position right now. Crazy how you have this down to such a science!

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The grouping and the assessment is pretty spot on. I’m pretty successful in all other aspects of my life and I’m very happy with myself. In most other areas I’m actually very comfortable in my skin but in dating I still feel a little out of place.

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Thanks for providing me with the detailed assessment about the group descriptions and where you think I fall into based on my answers.  I do not have issues with clicking with different types of people in general but when it comes to approaching or speaking with women I am very attracted to it kind of falls apart.  So all your points makes sense to me.

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I must say that I am impressed with your findings. I read the four groups that you presented me with before even looking at my results and after reading them, I felt that I was in the third group. Then, I scrolled down to get my results and you bracketed me with the same group that I felt I belonged in. We are definitely on the same page and I am very confident that this will evolve into a very solid and positive working relationship. 

IA Emails

Just thought I’d let you know the copy in this email is spot on. Alone & settling are a guys worse fear in life. In fact, in general, all your copy is spot on. Just thought I’d share!

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Many thanks for the email and information, it was enlightening and has given me some ideas.

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Once again I’m floored reading everything you have sent so far. I can feel how much you love men coming through in the tone of your material and your commitment to helping men find their dream woman. This is HELLA awesome to hear.

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Just wanted to say thanks for your email. I read all your emails and the insights they provide are truly inspiring to me. They inspire me to believe that it is possible to be comfortable with beautiful women after all, and the day will come when the right one for me will be in my arms. Thank you again or that, it is very much appreciated.

IA Website

Many thanks for such a great site :)

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First off, I would like to take a moment to sincerely thank you (and Sarah, of course!) for providing ‘Introverted Alpha,’ with articles & blog posts as entertaining to read as they are relatable. :-)

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I wanted you to know I find your website both brilliant and incredibly clever so thank you for providing a service that is so clearly needed.

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I have to say that I absolutely LOVE your website. I read every word on the main page, and it’s like you already know my situation.

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You describe me 110% accurately. I’m sure you hear that all the time from men visiting your website.

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BTW, thank you so much. Your work is excellent! Full disclosure, I visited your site after seeing it somewhere in the ZTL promotional materials. Of course the name got my attention, but my intention was to see what ZTL could do; which I did. But I did not expect to find a gold mine. Again, thank you so much for what you do.

Feedback on IA Overall

IA's Overall Approach

Completely Different from Pickup

I could never accept the fact that the primary focus of pick-up was just getting laid, with very little focus on an emotional connection, if any at all. I struggled with accepting the fact that pickup is the only thing out there for a long time – until I found your website a few days ago. I find myself agreeing with everything that I’ve read of yours so far.

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Yours is the only online source I’ve ever resonated with. I have not found any individuals I’ve been prepared to trust in supporting me with this.

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It’s refreshing to read material that’s such the antithesis of the PUA dialogue which so often surfaces when searching for content.

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I’ve been talking to a lot of friends, and doing a lot of research online, when I fortuitously came across Introverted Alpha, and for the first time in a long time, I found something that resonated with me in such a powerful way. For that reason, I’m really excited to learn more about what you guys do.

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You know, I’ve been on the internet and have listened to all kinds of teachings. I’ve told you I spent a lot. I’ve been trying every possible thing a man could think of, even library books, how to get your ex back, you know. You may be the first one who’s making sense to me. You’re the first one who stood up to me and not say, ‘Oh you’re doing everything right and she’s wrong.’ You’re the first one who said, ‘Hey, look at yourself.’ You know what’s going on, and you’re right.

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Getting dating advice from a woman, it didn’t make sense, but now that I think about it again, it does make sense. I do think that you as a woman, what you teach cannot be deceitful—not about lying or pretending or fake it til you make it kind of attitude that they teach—because you don’t want to be treated that way. I think the way you teach men to behave is the way you would like to be treated.

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It sounds like what you’re doing is unique and admirable. A lot of the advice out there is mostly about Pick-up, it’s mostly aimed at helping guys getting sex, when in reality, what most guys want is a relationship. I like what you’re doing. You’re really helping men find something that they deeply really want, not on a superficial level. You’re going after a group of guys who are the hardest to help because they are by nature introverted, introspective. A lot of them don’t even go out there and ask for advice. I really admire what you do, and by the way, you sound extremely friendly, knowledgeable, you have a very warm personality, you have a great voice, and you’re very helpful. I think people can feel that. 

Very Little Experience Coming In; Now Dating Is A Solid Skill

I think in terms of the program itself, the level of the material and content and care and detail that has gone into it really shines. For me, I went into this with very little experience and as a consequence, when you walk into the unknown, you don’t know how much there is to discover. I didn’t know how much there was to discover. There was so much that I learned, so much I learned was skill based. So many different areas and aspects of my life that the program touched from sorting out my own demands to understanding how that relates to my interactions with other people through doing practical skills on reading women and touch and messaging and online dating, face-to-face dating.

Feels Clear and Genuine

I can’t thank you enough for making things clearer for me. I always knew what I wanted but just struggled being able to express it into words and now I can :)

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You’re the first one who’s been able to explain this to me in a way that makes sense. This is the first information I’ve had along these lines to help me channel this important part of me. Thank you.

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Everything I am reading on the IA site just speaks to me so clearly, its incredible. I am someone who strives to be authentic and genuine in all areas of my life, but yes, I do believe I can gain more confidence in how I present myself to the world.

Tailored to Introverts

Thanks to you, I was able to go on my first dates EVER at 23 y/o! Just prior, I had watched every PUA video on youtube and had gone out to many bars acting out of character. I was a nervous wreck and nothing worked. But you were the first site I encountered that told me to embrace my introverted nature. The first to make me consider what was already great about myself.

I’d never read anything like that! I still can’t believe how you came to know the nature of introverted MEN so well. Ironically, all the guys advise we take “massive action”, push through bad interactions, and essentially become extroverts! I was banging my head against the proverbial wall until I found this site.

One of the BEST pieces of advice you gave was going to venues that I’d feel comfortable in. One thing I never considered doing before was SALSA dancing. And yet it was a breeze compared to a club, because you knew that a great place for introverts has less chaos and more structure built in… I’d been meaning to thank you for a while now so here it is!

IA's Teaching Style

Elegant Logical Framework

I love, Love, LOVE the way you can scaffold one of the most emotionally visceral experiences in life with such an elegant, logical framework!! 

Enjoyable and Informative

Your website, blog, e-books, and course have been both enjoyable and informative to contemplate. This information is organized in a way which gives clarity to the overall roadmap while also defining the hazards and navigation details to confidently traverse the path ahead.

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I just want to say THANK YOU and Sarah for having a website that manages to stay more neutral and celebrates individuality without being fluffy.

Refreshing to Read

Really enjoy seeing the way you’re teaching resembles Ramit Sethi, in terms of systems and skill practice. Refreshing to read after months watching pickup videos (entertaining but not designed for introverts)!

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Thanks for putting in all the effort. I really feel that your website and your idea overall, can help me. I hope to learn how to be more successful in dating and with women in general, by becoming more and more myself, not trying to change into something I am not, because to be honest … this sucks :D Anyway, thank you again :)

How IA Feels

Comforting, Inspiring, Helpful

I wanted to attract women that were right for me, and I think part of the program that I loved and that really spoke to me was that I don’t have to change who I was, I just had to reflect upon who I already was and build my confidence in that person, then go from there. Rather than using any tactics or strategies that didn’t seem genuine or like who I was.Your approach to the whole topic is really wonderful. Comforting, inspiring, and very helpful.

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Please pass along my glowing review to Sarah. I am sure she hears this all the time but I sincerely appreciate all of the thoughtful and clever work that has allowed me to see myself and my potential partner very clearly.

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I’m delighted to have found Introverted Alpha, I had a hard time trying to be an extrovert until I finally noticed that even if I did that, it wouldn’t be me, and, eventually, women would notice that.

Wholesome and Refreshing

I love how personalized and caring you guys are at Introverted Alpha! It’s so wholesome and refreshing.

Like A Breath of Fresh Air

Love how you guys put this together… the whole process from clicking your ad, reading your website copy, and emails has been like a breath of fresh air. So many pickup companies are happy to take your money in exchange for their one size fits all techniques. I started getting into pickup in 2012, and I banged my head against the wall doing cold approaches for awhile. It was tough. When I finally had a chance for a relationship I sabotaged it because I was in that PUA mindset. 

A Unique Gift

You, as a woman, especially, are rendering a unique gift to the men you coach; for, the only other women I can think of who have helped us to blossom out as men have been the rare, insightful mother (I didn’t have one of those), the occasional schoolteacher when we were boys (when I remember them, I get teary), and maybe an older, powerful work supervisor (I’m grateful for a couple of them).  I believe men need a circle of other men (including elders) to empower and affirm them.  Yet, there is something uniquely ennobling and catalytic about a woman who believes in a man because she understands him as a man.  I think of it like the sparkplug in an engine –it creates an explosive release of energy.

Extroverts Who Found IA

Wanted an Alternative to Treating Women as Goals

I’m not even sure I count as introverted so you might wonder why I became interested in Introverted Alpha. Well, I was looking online for advice and lot of the articles (not on IA) seemed to treat women as goals rather than people and the salesmanship crossed the line into manipulation so I wasn’t interested in following their advice. But then I found out about Introverted Alpha and thought, this is different.

Wanted to Date Without Faking It

I was reading about Pick Up Artists and whatnot. They all the time had the suggestion of changing yourself—of talking this way, behaving that way. Even changing your attitudes and belief system. I’ve tried to change myself in whatever way they described would be attractive to women, and it never worked. All the times I considered myself a failure because of that. Because I couldn’t do that myself, I couldn’t better myself—not even for the sake of having a good social life, a good romantic life. So I was considering myself a failure because I couldn’t change myself.

Wanted An Approach that Clarified Dating

You pretty much nailed it – the dating landscape has been confusing and daunting since I’ve been in college. I don’t fully identify as being a textbook introvert, although I do possess many introverted qualities. I work in advertising sales and make a nice income for my age, but my mind works quite the opposite from my more analytical engineering friends. I do work in sales, after all. I guess what I’m trying to get at is, I’m not fully certain if this advice was created for my personality type, based on the specific clients Sarah lists on her site, although I do hope so. – said upon first finding us by Casey, an audio testimonial!

Dating Was Frustrating

“Dating was really frustrating.”

I had decided I wanted to find a girlfriend, and I was using apps like Tinder and Bumble in order to set up dates, but I actually struggled setting up the dates. I had a lot of chats that I felt like they went on and on over days, but we didn’t ever meet up. And then, the ones who did end up going on a date with me, I would want to see them again, but I would hear silence, or they would not be interested in seeing me. It was really frustrating.

“The most important need I couldn’t figure out how to satisfy.”

I used to worry that I may never find the right partner and I’d end up settling for someone in fear of running out of time. Finding the right woman always occurred to me as the most important need I couldn’t figure out how to satisfy.

“I pretty much had no dating experience.” 

When I first found Introverted Alpha about a year ago, I pretty much had no dating experience and very limited I think knowledge and skills of being able to interact with women or develop some kind of dating or relationship at their level. It’s not something that I had concentrated on at that point. I certainly was very frustrated that it was something that I didn’t feel I could do. I felt maybe that other people just naturally seem to be good at this kind of thing.

I was sat there supposed to be getting ready to go the next day and I was completely transfixed that there were other people like me that struggled with this and that I wasn’t alone and that there was the option for support, for help and that there was something I could do about it. I remember that being a very emotional discovery of the company and quite transformative because I’d never really thought about how I would tackle it. It was something I’d set in my mind that I couldn’t do this. I didn’t know how to do it. 

Suddenly, here was this whole world opened up to me of, “Oh wow, this is maybe something I can improve at, something that I can get sorted. That’s when I booked my very first Clarity Consultation Call and very first got to know some of your team. It was at that point in time that I was like, “Wow, this is amazing. This is totally something I want to do,” but because I had found Introverted Alpha quite suddenly at the time, there were other things in my life that I was doing in terms of career and moving houses, which I did in the end in between. I knew that I wanted to get some of those things sorted so that I could put basically my undivided attention to this because I realized it was very important to me. 

Update: He married his beautiful bride in 2019!

“I compare myself to the men I see who are taller, better looking.” 

I do have a fairly clear image of what I want out of my life in general and dating specifically. And I am not very skilled nor experienced with both approach and flirtation. In fact, talking to a woman im attracted to with romantic intentions is frightening to me. Almost every weekend that I go out with friends, I’ll end up going to a bar or concert with a friend with the intention of meeting women. Instead, I almost always end up talking to my friend the whole night, watching eligible women walk by. I always play it safe. I can’t help but compare myself to all the other men I see daily, who are taller, better looking-I don’t feel like I can compete. I am somewhat confident in my personality and believe I’m an interesting person. I have a great sense of humor, am passionate and knowledgeable about music and modern culture, self aware, love to travel and know how to have fun. I know that I can be a valuable asset to someone’s life and I do think that if I can get past some obstacles, I have substantial romantic potential.

“I’ve spent a lot of time feeling left behind.”

I don’t really know how to get started meeting women, and I’ve never been on a date.  But I’m fairly clear on what I want and that there are women who’d like me…  It’s mainly meeting women and initially breaking the ice that’s a struggle for me.  And a general lack of a roadmap, I’ve spent a lot of time feeling left behind, like all the other guys learned some basic skills along the way that I worry women expect me to have by 29. So I’m working on catching up: just signed up for the course!

Didn't Want To Settle

“Often I worry I’ll have to settle.” 

I don’t think I’m a bad looking guy and also know what I want to improve on, but I’ve noticed that most women don’t seem to ever look my way or notice me. I live in Los Angeles after all! I’ve noticed a trend of being attracted to women who, after getting to know each other, will at most view me as a friend. It’s happened so often I worry I’ll have to settle with a woman I’m not attracted to because I can’t capture the desire of women I’m attracted to. I sometimes worry no matter how good of shape I get in and how well I dress, there’s already a set ceiling of the quality of woman I can end up with.

“Being an introvert, small talk is not one of my fortes.”

Being an introvert, small talk is not one of my fortes.  I have no clue how to flirt, or escalate touch.  Also, all the relationships I’ve had, the girl made it very obvious that she wanted to be with me.  I want to change that, and approach women that I’m intrigued by, and explore connections that seem interesting to me.  Hence, when I came across Sarah’s website, I was very excited.

“I could do a much better job setting myself up for success.” 

In many aspects of my life (not just women) I can be pretty picky/particular but I know what I like.  So if I choose otherwise I then get a bit down on myself or just continue to look for alternatives if I feel I am settling.  Sometimes I wonder if what I am looking for or expecting does not line up with what is realistic. I have always felt I could do a much better job setting myself up for success when it comes to meeting the right woman for me but for whatever reasons I never put a lot of effort into that area and instead focused on career or personal development assuming it would just happen on it’s own.  I’m not too old at this point (33) but not that young anymore either :)

“I would never ever want to look back on this and regret that it’s something I hadn’t tried.”

I could feel that I was at risk of just simply accepting that I wasn’t going to be good enough and this wasn’t something that I could do. That was definitely the final clincher that I just had to shake myself out of that. I would never ever want to look back on this and regret that it’s something I hadn’t tried. That was definitely the point at which I was going for it 100%.

Wanted Roadmap to Success in This Area

“I’m pretty successful in all other aspects of my life.”

I’m pretty successful in all other aspects of my life and I’m very happy with myself. In most other areas I’m actually very comfortable in my skin but in dating I still feel a little out of place.

“I just don’t (didn’t) have any roadmap.” 

In all the other areas, I have resources, victories, momentum, strategies. But when it comes to women, I just don’t (didn’t) have any roadmap. 

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I would say that the one crucial difference with dating and the other areas of my life (health, finances, career) is that I don’t have a plan or strategy or any starting point.

“I know I can do it. I just need the path and the proper support and guidance.”

Even now, I feel that with my social life, my romantic life, I can change it around. It’s not a matter if I can do it or I cannot do it because I know I can do it. I just need the path and the proper support and guidance. I really have the confidence that given enough time—and I’m willing to give this plenty of time, at least one year to improve it—I will do it.

“I’ve been looking for this sort of thing for many years.”

I’ve been looking for this sort of thing for many years. A year ago I became really interested in introvert-stuff and most of the things I’ve been questioning about myself were answered when I found out I was specifically an INFJ personality type. 

But I don’t want that to be an excuse for not being able to have a nice little social life, and of course, connect with women. I’m 25, and most of my activities are really solo-type things, like writing, or playing piano – I’ve spent most of my life doing those two things that I’ve neglected “game” and stuff I see other guys doing.

“What I want is to gain the skill set and become more confident.”

What I want is to gain the skill set and become more confident in the area. See in my professional life I’ve got the resume to land most interviews, and the smarts and the confidence to land most jobs. And when I have an interview coming up, I know exactly what they’re looking for, I know exactly how to prepare, and I go in fully confident that I’m putting my best out there and I have a high chance of success (not 100%, but probably 80-90%). 

This ability gives me immense confidence and allows me to be very picky about what I do because I’m never desperate and I know that I’ll never be unemployed too long. And I’m currently at my dream job without any impostor syndrome or any fear of what I’ll do in the future. I know that I can handle whatever life throws at me. I want the same in dating. I have a feeling this is exactly what you can help me with.

What They Were Doing Wasn't Working

“I didn’t know where to start.”

I was at a point of frustration and not really knowing where to start, where to meet women, and I knew there’s a lot of opportunity in the city. It was Los Angeles, so obviously there are lots of women here, but I didn’t necessarily feel comfortable or know where to start. I kind of tapped into that, and I wanted to connect with my potential.

I also feel that I do not create nearly enough opportunities in general to set myself up for success.  And then the few times I do I sometimes end up not even trying because of a lack of confidence.  The environment may have a big factor with that as well (i.e. cold places like a bar or random public setting).

“Podcasts/books haven’t been enough to instill action or change.”

It seems like no matter how many self help men’s podcasts I listen to or books I read (and I’ve listened to and read a lot!) , they haven’t been enough to instill action or change. As I’m 25, I feel as though I’m missing out on some of the prime years of my life being alone because I’m afraid of rejection.

“There’s got to be something that I’m doing wrong.”

My thought process in terms of my dating experience was very much like, ‘Okay. There must be something that I’m doing, or how I’m acting or presenting myself, or even subconsciously. There’s got to be something that I’m doing wrong.’ That was embedded so deeply into how I was looking at things, how I was thinking about things, how I was acting.

Women Initiating with Clients

Women Initiating Chemistry

“I can hardly contain myself because of the excitement…” 

I can hardly contain myself because of the excitement. I am just coming from a party of a work colleague, and a girl, work colleague as well, was giving me signs all night: we talked almost the whole night, touching my leg with her hand by accident, getting my phone number, going in for the goodbye kiss as I was about to leave the party… She will even join me this Sunday to a burlesque show I’m going to.

“You are NOT going to believe this!”

You are NOT going to believe this! It’s 2:30am and I am just now getting home…!! After our teleconference call, I ate dinner at home. Then I left late for one of my venues, a bar/grill, to listen to a folk music band. I was just minding my own business, intending to leave in 45 min when the band was done. 

A woman then introduced herself to me and offered to teach me to dance. She approached me… So we danced a bunch. Then I taught her 2-step. Lots of first and second and third touch. Then *she* kissed me. A lot! Then we played a few games of pool. Things got very flirtatious between us… This has NEVER happened to me, not in this way. Crazy!!

“Something like this never happened to me before.”

I have met someone tonight and got a date. But the way it happened is the most incredible way (for me at least). I went out with work colleagues tonight, but around midnight I took the bus home. A girl sat next to me, and I smiled and said hi. It was effortless. I’m sorry, but I want to emphasize this as something like this never happened to me before. I don’t know who said the hi, but it wasn’t my old me. 

My old me would have thought to himself go ahead and say hi and then spend more time arguing with himself for all the reasons to take action but fail in the end to do anything. But now, as she was sitting down, she looked like my ideal woman, tall slim brunette with glasses, I just smiled naturally and said hi, all in a totally confident and most relaxed way. The conversation started a little bit slowly… I asked if she was having a good night. She told me she went out with some friends. Then I shared how my night went. I asked where she is from, and to my surprise she said Romania. 

To my even greater surprise she is also actually from my home city, born and raised there. We connected immediately over which friends we have in common. Then I said that I never do this and I would regret it if I didn’t do it but I want to have a drink with her. 

You cannot imagine the enthusiasm on her face as she said yes, and the speed with which she literally took my phone from my hand to give me her number. I walked her home, and realised we are neighbours, and promised to see each other as soon as possible. I would have never imagined this to be possible.”

“She stopped, turned around and kissed me.”

I went on the date tonight with the Spanish girl. Let me tell you, I really had no expectations tonight. But what happened was incredible. I liked her so I took every opportunity… When she almost tripped on the sidewalk, I took her hand and put it on my arm, so we walked arm in arm, to make sure she doesn’t trip and fall. Later in the evening, I noticed she was cold so I put my arm around her and walked body next to body. 

Even later, as I was walking her home, I swear to you I never thought I could pull it off, I gently took her hand out of the pocket, and grabbed her by the hand. The enthusiasm with which she received my gesture and hand, it’s beyond words. After 50 meters, you won’t believe this, as we were walking hand in hand, she stopped, turned around and kissed me. 

Literally, she went for the kiss. I am still blown away by this. From there we had to walk 100 meters to her home, a trip that should have taken 5 minutes took us 30 minutes. She would kiss me there and then and not let me walk. Then we got in front of the house and, to my greatest surprise, she invited me in. This absolutely never happened before. We made out for a couple of hours, but that’s not important. 

It feels like something out of a movie, and trust me it’s not. It’s my life and this happened to me, and it is beyond words the flow, easiness with which it happened. Sarah, in your words, I think I am a badass.

Women Initiating Giving Their Numbers

“She wrote her number on a piece of notebook paper.” 

You left me in such a good state that a barista at the coffee shop I frequent asked me out today. Even further, she wrote her number on a piece of notebook paper and handed it to me before I could get my phone out (!). I don’t think that’s ever happened to me lol.

“The prettiest girl literally ran after me to give me her number.”

The prettiest girl in a busy London restaurant literally ran out of the building after me last night to give me her number despite the fact that she was waiting tables there at the time… :) Even better was the fact that the reason I’d chosen that particular restaurant was that I’d noticed her… It’s as if she appeared straight off my wish list.

“One woman asked for my number in front of the entire group.”

One woman asked for my number in front of the entire group. There were ongoing jokes about getting my number for tech support. Confidence and calmness made the difference. I walked outta there with 7 numbers (and these women completely understood they weren’t giving me their number for tech support…).

“She asked me for my number and said we should hang out sometime.”

Currently I’ve gone out on a couple of dates with a girl that I met at a towing lot downtown Chicago. We both had our cars towed and the guy at the counter wasn’t going to let her get her car out because she didn’t have her license with her (it was in the car). So I pretended to be her boyfriend and the guy let me go get her car for her lol. After that she asked me for my number and said we should hang out sometime. She is really interesting and I am looking forward to our next date. This time things are moving slowly, but I certainly feel a connection and would like to explore that further.

Women Initiating Approach

“A woman I had only known in a work setting approached me.”

A woman I had only known in a work setting approached me and after talking for a few hours, asked for my number. Because of the program, I recognized this was likely a sign of interest, and I decided to ask her out. 

We had a great first date and at the end, shared a kiss… 

The program gave me the ability to read her initial interest and to capitalize on the opportunity to ask her on a date as well as how to build up to and go for the first kiss!

“Women are approaching me on a pretty regular basis.”

People have are reacting to me differently lately…in a good way.  Women are approaching me on a pretty regular basis lately usually not the type of women I’m attracted to…yet.  

But I was very rarely approached by women at all before, especially in public, and now it happens every few days. 

I had two soccer-mom’s chat me up (one right after the other) one night last week while I was standing at a deli counter picking up something for dinner.

“Women notice me, smile at me.”

Even now, I feel that with my social life, my romantic life, I can change it around. It’s not a matter if I can do it or I cannot do it because I know I can do it. I just need the path and the proper support and guidance. I really have the confidence that given enough time—and I’m willing to give this plenty of time, at least one year to improve it—I will do it.

Women Initiating Showing Interest

“I was getting looks all night.” 

As I’m in the midst of a workout, I swear I was getting looks all night tonight.  I mean I’m used to being ignored. Next thing I know, not one but two girls initiated conversations with me.

“I am actually astonished.”

Yesterday I went to the movies after work, and in the metro towards the cinema I mentioned this to my colleagues, and another work colleague (girl) ended joining me. We had a blast of good time. But I was surprised she came. I am used to getting rejected, to inviting girls to do things together and getting a no, that now I am actually astonished they want to hang around with me.

“She wants to go on a date with me?!”

In my mind, I can’t ask for a more perfect girl for me because of her stats on paper she’s smart (does BOTH UX design AND coding!), her external presentation is great (and she’s really pretty), and she has similar values to me (her approach to Christianity seems very similar to mine).  Frankly, I feel a little intimidated by her this amazing girl wants to go on a date with me?!  

“I am finding more success via dating apps.”

I am finding more success via dating apps. I had several matches on Hinge recently and reached out to a few via the transcript Sarah had sent, and got a number of a woman who I’m excited about seeing. I just sent the initial date text, asking her to drinks at a rooftop bar I’m fond of. I’m hopeful she’ll respond but if she doesn’t, I won’t worry about it. In the meantime, I’m catching up with implementation worksheets. I never took a critical eye to my online dating profiles, so now seeing them now through the IA lens, they admittedly need a lot of work! I will send them your way once they get to a better place I’m happy with, which I’m hoping will be this week.

Clients Having Fun Dating

“She was outrageously fun.”

I had a pretty fun weekend in NYC where I was on 2 dates. They both went somewhat well, and somewhat not (neither was a particularly serious one, so no harm). Saturday’s girl was more of a happenstance I met a friend of mine and his fiancé, and they had brought along a friend as well. She was outrageously fun and I had an absolute blast because of her. By the end of the afternoon we had settled into a good level of rapport with lots of joking, teasing, and playful shoulder-punching.

“This is exactly the kind of experience I want more of.”

I went skiing with my coworker. We had a blast together, flirted a lot, and had great and fun conversation; and I realized that this is exactly the kind of experience I want more of.

“I was happy that I at least tried and can move on.”

So, since last time, I asked out the receptionist at my chiropractor’s. Got a quick no, but I was happy that I at least tried and can move on instead of just fantasizing about it.

“She agreed to meet up next week!”

On Sunday I texted her in the afternoon to say how much fun I had and she was responsive…and she agreed to meet up next week!  Then today to keep the convo going, and not be boring like hey how’s it going I have the handy program material to work with. She was teasing me about being a tea-drinker when we met so I texted her a nice pic of the tea I made this morning to tease her back…she responded with a pic of her coffee and we have been texting back-and-forth most of the day which has been fun.  She actually has been throwing in some questions to me, to keep the convo going…which I think is a positive sign and REALLY helps alleviate the pressure of a texting convo which is something I have had trouble with in the past.

Clients Dating Consistently

“I’m seeing 1 or 2 women over dates every week.”

So far, I am seeing 1 or 2 women over dates every week for the last 3 weeks. It’s been a lot of fun coming up with interesting date ideas, taking them out and getting to know them. None of them has led to a kiss yet and I definitely need to add in a lot more touch if I want something to happen. At least going on these dates made me realize that I do have interesting stories to share with them, that I enjoy their company, and above all, that some of them are actually boring and don’t want to see again! That definitely made me more selective and I believe it’s a good thing to know what I like and the standards I want.

“Now I’m leaving the first date with clear plans for a second.”

There’s been a huge jump in my ability to select women who I want to go on a second and third date with. I used to have a ton of first dates. The first date was often missing chemistry, so my date and I wouldn’t want a second date. Now I’m leaving the first date with clear plans and desire for a second (and we’re often discussing ideas for the third and fourth date, if things are going really well). Implementing physical touch made the difference.

“Now I can be more selective.”

Before Enrolling: In your words you say “they sense that success is attainable if they knew exactly what to do.” I agree because I usually just “wing-it” and it starts out fantastic, only to fizzle out! It’s always a huge bummer. I’ve exhausted tinder and dating apps – maxed out – the well’s dry.

During Program: At one time I had a short-form profile that gave me statistics (I think coffee meets bagel). CMB ranked my online profile in the top 8% of heterosexual men, and yet I would only set up dates with 1 of 10 profiles that I had interest in. Now it is more like 8/10. The online messaging strategy made the difference. Now I can be more selective.

Clients In Brand New Relationships!

“I wanted to see her exclusively. She wanted that too :)”

I told her that I really like her and wanted to see her exclusively. She got such a big smile on her face and said she wanted that too. :)

“I now officially have a girlfriend…”

I now officially have a girlfriend… It all seems very magical.

“I’ve also been dating a new, very sweet woman.”

I’m moving slowly through the program in order to make some deep changes, but the first couple of modules have definitely resulted in a new mindset — I’m much more able to see interactions as win-win, whereas before I struggled with either feeling like I was being intrusive, or being strictly evaluated at every step of the dating process. I’ve also been dating a new, very sweet woman for several weeks, so that’s a cool result. Thanks again!

“My new girlfriend is incredible.”

My new girlfriend is incredible. I’ve never had a connection like this with anyone, and neither has she.

Clients Enjoying Their Girlfriends!

“We’re having a blast!” 

My new girlfriend really is a lot of fun to be with, and we are both having a blast. It’s the best relationship I’ve ever had.

“I met a beautiful girl with a very warm heart.”

So I put it up, but not long after that I met a beautiful girl with a very warm heart through my social circle. And we’ve been dating for a couple of months now and it feels really good with her. So I’m happy :)

“I am now with a wonderful woman… literally, my daydreams.”

I am now with a wonderful woman -better than I could’ve imagined. Literally, my daydreams, checklists, etc never would’ve hit upon the combination of things that make her so great and make us a great fit. I call her my impossible girl, a Dr Who reference she probably doesn’t know about and I haven’t felt a need to explain ;)

“I feel like I hit a home run.” 

I’m having a great time. I kind of can’t believe this is all happening with her — I feel like I hit a home run during my first at bat. It’s just great, and it’s exciting to see where it will go.

“We are just really happy planning a future together.”

The last six months have been wonderful! Not only is she great, I am now a much better partner and understand my ongoing role in the relationship better… We’re flying to Chicago/NYC for her to meet my family, and generally are just really happy planning a future together.

Clients Getting Married!

“We will get married in July!”

I am excited to say that the woman I told you about in 2014 is now my fiancée and we will get married in July!

“We got married 3 weeks ago! :)”

I meant to give you an update and my news is kind of earth shattering! After finishing my MBA last year and returning to work I found myself in a difficult situation. I’d become close (by which I mean full on dating/relationship) with this amazing woman on my course, but we hadn’t fully embraced what had blossomed between us as she was moving back home to Thailand and we didn’t see how things could work with me in the UK. 

Anyway, I decided this separation was a bad idea and promptly got on a plane and went chasing after her! 

Long story short, following numerous trips to see each other later, it turns out that plane journey was the best idea I’ve ever had. We got married 3 weeks ago! :)

So there you go, my life has totally changed in the last month and continues to be exciting as this new adventure begins!

With all my thanks to you and your team for IA’s part in helping me become the man I am today and the happiness that I have found. 

“We’re getting married in October!”

We’re getting married in October! Getting married in Houston, honeymoon in Thailand. We actually met on bumble when I was going through IA. Hit it off right away and everything just felt right from then on. So I probably talked about an early date or two on an IA call once upon a time.” 

Ripple Effects into Social Life and Overall Confidence

Old Friends See Clients Differently

“You’re like a different person now.” 

There have been a few huge wins in the past several weeks that you are directly responsible for. A friend I’ve known for several years, a couple years older than me, said to me over dinner the other night, Wow, dude-look at you. You’re a grown ass man now! Lol. When we first met in 2012, you were a kid. You’re like a different person now. I knew immediately this had to do with my focus on my values/factors. It was a tremendous compliment coming from this particular friend, as he’s always been inspiring and someone I’ve looked up to for his natural affability and success with women.

“The people that know me see me differently.” 

The single best moment has been that my friends are seeing me in a different light also, so it’s not only that I am feeling different but my friends see me differently also. The people that know me see me differently.

“A huge confidence boost.”

“You look different” “You look really good” “Have you been working out?” OK, wow. This turned into a longer e-mail than I expected. I just wanted to say, thank you for Introverted Alpha and all the time and effort you’ve spent doing this! I love that I can make these small changes nothing too radical or crazy based on what I’ve learned throughout the past several months and be getting this sort of response. I’m somewhat of a picky and discerning person, so I haven’t gone out that much recently and would be very selective about who I approach, but getting this sort of reaction and compliments from friends, family, and occasionally a co-worker has been a huge confidence boost. Really really excited to take the next steps and see what’s in store for the rest of the year.

“I feel like I’ve earned my seat at the table.”

Several close friends I’ve grown apart from, for one reason or another, have reached out to me in the last couple of months. When we’ve caught up over drinks and even over the phone, we get along better than we have in recent memory. I think I mentioned that I’ve always felt less attractive and inexperienced with women compared to my friends. 

However, in the last few months, since I’ve focused on becoming the best version of myself, it’s become largely noticeable to me that my friends treat me with a newfound appreciation and support of who I am. I notice they’re excited by me, which I haven’t experienced to this degree before. 

I feel like I’ve earned my seat at the table, so to speak. The laughs, the feelings of comfort and the flowing invitations I’ve gotten from friends markedly prove I’ve changed for the better. If I got this much attention from attractive women, I’d honestly be overwhelmed!

“My friends started group texting and said, Oh he’s probably just on a date.”

My friends have noticed a difference also. A few weeks ago I adopted a kitten and I was at the animal shelter on a Friday night. My friends started group texting and I wasn’t responding and one of my friends said, Hey, are you alive? and then another one said, Oh he’s probably just on a date. It’s funny because that’s not something one of my friends would have said about me in the past.

People Are Magnetized to Clients

“People were coming up to me and talking to me!” 

The other night, I went to a fundraiser and I felt really good. People were coming up to me and talking to me! I think it’s because I’ve been involved with the group, and people know who I am and like what I’ve done with it. It felt pretty great. Especially because that had never happened to me before. Usually, I’m quiet in the corner not talking to anyone, and CERTAINLY no one is coming up to talk to me! So that was different. It felt really good, like a whole new world opened up for me, a whole new way of being that wasn’t available to me before. Like, now this kind of thing is available to me when I go out, whereas before it just wasn’t. 

“People are just coming up to me and saying hi.”

A couple months ago, I went into the bar and no one knew me, and now I go and they’re getting my drink before I even sit down. Everyone is saying hello to me. People are just coming up to me and saying hi.

“It’s not just women who are reacting differently to me.”

And it’s not just women who are reacting differently to me. It’s interesting and exciting that something has changed so dramatically in my presence to cause such a wide reaching change in reactions.

“Men are approaching me at the gym to chat and ask for advice.”

And I know this is just the beginning… I know I can be 10 times better… men are approaching me at the gym to chat and ask for advice… women are clearly comfortable with me around… I am excited to work on this stuff more.

“I don’t really approach anymore. It just happens.”

Before: I hate cold approach, don’t know what to say. 

After: The term approach has a new meaning for me. I don’t really approach anymore. It just happens. People just talk to me (girls and guys). 

New People See Clients As Outgoing

“They see me as a fun, outgoing guy.” 

It has greatly helped me to present myself better. I could also see people perceiving me totally different. They like to be around me and overall see me as a fun, outgoing guy.

“You don’t seem like someone who ever overthinks…”

A couple girls that I’ve been on dates with at some point have in the conversation said something to the effect of, You don’t seem like someone who ever overthinks something, which has never been true in my life, right?

“First thing he noticed about me was how friendly I am… WTF?”

I intentionally isolate myself at work. I feel my priorities (independence, self development) are very different than my coworkers’, and want to only spend time with people that have similar goals/mindset as me. One thing that sparked this was when I was talking to said classmate, and he said the first thing he noticed about me was how friendly I am. My immediate reaction WTF? Friendly?!  Later, I thought a little more about it, and remembered two instances when I went to the World Domination Summit and attended this people skills workshop, one of the exercises was telling your neighbor your initial impression of them mine was excited. I wrote it off back then, because it was the first conference I went to, so of course I’d be excited to do stuff.  a good friend of mine said that when I don’t say much when I’m off, but there are times where I just turn on charisma, and am super friendly. So, yea perhaps my vibe is lighter than I thought before.

Clients Feel More Attractive & Get Compliments

“I’m carrying myself a lot better.”

I’m carrying myself a lot better. I feel my confidence is not so much the fake kind anymore, like I’m not acting confident, it’s more genuine.

“I KNOW I look good.” 

I KNOW I look good. This is not something that would have happened with Trunk Club or similar services. Confidence + style = more people checking me out every day and I notice.

“I’ve had two second-hand reports that friends-of-friends found me attractive.” 

Since my last email to you I’ve had two second-hand reports that friends-of-friends found me attractive, and one woman respond to my eHarmony message to say that she read and liked my profile (you sound really awesome!).

“I am more aware of how I carry myself.”

Since the start of IA, I’ve noticed that I am more aware of how I carry myself. Although I don’t have a completely sedentary job, I do spend many hours in front of a computer and there was a subtle tendency to lean forward which translated into leaning forward when walking. I noticed this and spent about a month consciously walking upright with confidence. I also don’t rush around anymore, instead keeping an even stride at a normal pace. I’m also much more open when I’m sitting at a bar or relaxing at a table, keeping shoulders up, arms open rather than leaning forward and crossing my arms.

“They brought up that I looked good…”

Friday lunch and dinner was with separate groups of friends, with lunch a more professional affair including former co workers and dinner more intimate with a close friend. Both times the other people brought up that I looked good, and had I been working out? Of course I had! But I found it really amusing that I’d seen a few of these people not even a week earlier, but we hadn’t had this conversation then.

“Every single woman in our group complimented me.”

Saturday night was a friend’s birthday party. It was a small, intimate affair with 8 people, and with the exception of one new face I’ve met each individual before, although I haven’t seen them regularly. Last night again I had a dark T-shirt, with jeans and a jacket. Nothing fancy, very simple. Without fail, by the end of the evening every single woman in our group had independently complimented me. Some are in relationships. Some I’ve met recently. One I hadn’t seen in about a year. It wasn’t even my birthday, but it kind of felt like it!

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