“Should I Approach Her?” 4 Signs to Look For
Many introverted men experience what we call “analysis paralysis” when it comes to knowing how to tell if a woman wants you to approach her:
- “Does she want me to talk to her?”
- “I’m not sure what I should say.”
- “What if I read her wrong and she doesn’t want to talk to me?”
All of these concerns are totally normal. After all, everyone experiences approach anxiety to some extent, and lots of us find it difficult to start a conversation with people we don’t know.
The good news is that many introverted men just like you have learned how to approach and start talking to women naturally and confidently, all while staying true to their wonderful, introspective nature!
Take these three Introverted Alpha readers, for example. Here’s how they’ve grown when it comes to knowing how to tell if a woman wants you to approach her:
“I have a healthy appreciation for my qualities, a solid understanding of how to approach women in a genuine and confident manner, and I’m going out and meeting new people more consistently.” – Jared
“I am more confident about approaching women I am attracted to, and I have connected with people and made new friends by stepping out of my comfort zone and exploring new venues.” – Manny
“I don’t have too much trouble now approaching people and talking in informal social situations where people are clearly there to socialize.” – Seth
If you’d love to experience similar results, keep reading!
Today, we’ll explore four signs indicating that she hopes you’ll strike up a conversation!
By the end of this post, you will know how to tell if a woman wants you to approach her.
Why learning how to approach women matters
To feel confident meeting women and approaching them, start with a deep sense of self and appreciation for what makes you you.
Now, let’s dive in so you know how to tell if a woman wants you to approach her!
Glancing vs. Gazing
When a woman glances around a room, that is her natural way to become familiar with her surroundings and feel safe.
So if you see her simply glancing around and you catch eye contact out of the corner of your eye with no smile or blush from her, note that she might just have been looking around and happened to make eye contact with you.
A brief glance for half a second is an act of observation without feelings attached. An extended gaze of a full second or more, on the other hand, lasts longer and has some emotion tied to it!
Now, don’t expect her to stare you down with strong eye contact until you approach her. That would be unusual and even a bit awkward!
Her gaze is a message of desire as well as an invitation to approach her when she lets that powerful eye contact linger.
It may make the room slow down, or you may feel like there’s a secret, electrifying moment just between you two.
If that’s the case, trust your intuition and go introduce yourself! For help starting that conversation, check out these articles, which have been written especially for introverted men:
- How To Hold A Conversation With A Girl You’re Attracted To
- What To Say When Approaching A Girl You Don’t Know
- How To Best Approach A Woman As An Introverted Man
On the other hand, if she’s avoiding eye contact, it means she’s probably not interested in a conversation in this moment.
Random vs. Frequent Looks
While glancing vs. gazing hinges on the length of a look, this next category refers to the time between glances.
Pay attention to the present moment and keep it simple. If a woman is looking at you frequently (anywhere from once every couple of minutes to once every 20-30 seconds) or trying to catch your eye, she is definitely indicating some sign of interest!
For help overcoming any fears as you’re determining how to tell if a woman wants you to approach her, read these articles:
- Analysis Paralysis In Dating: 3 Steps To Making It A Non-Issue
- From Socially Anxious Introvert To Confident: 5 Key Tips!
- How To Overcome Fear Of Rejection In 3 Steps
The great news is that you don’t have to pretend to be an extrovert to be successful approaching women! You can be fully authentic and confident in who you are while meeting amazing women.
Farther vs. Closer
Whereas the two previous signs were about time, this one is all about space.
Perhaps you’ve experienced this in other areas of your life:
- Your sibling is upset with you, so they go to their room for some alone time.
- You’re curious about a book someone is reading, so you move closer to see the title.
- Your coworker appears to be in a bad mood, so you try to maintain some distance.
- You smell a delightful scent coming from the kitchen, so you venture in to find out what it is.
- You notice a beautiful woman meets your eye across the dance floor, so you move closer to observe her and perhaps ask her to dance.
Do you know what all of these scenarios have in common?
They are built on a simple storyline of cause and effect in which one situation creates a strong enough desire to inspire a physical response.
When we aren’t enjoying something, our natural physiological response is to move away. Women attempt to avoid situations that make them feel uncomfortable or awkward. On the other hand, when we experience curiosity, hope, or desire, we gravitate toward the source of that!
An article from Psychology Today explains this phenomenon:
“Most of us experience [our feelings] and respond to them as internal demands for action or avoidance of action whether or not it’s what we want. Fear, shame, or guilt may lead us to avoidance, while… excitement leads us to move toward an action.”
Remember, seeing a physical cue related to proximity can only be a positive thing! Whether she moves farther away from you or inches closer, she’s providing quantifiable information that will give you clarity about how to tell if a woman wants you to approach her.
Indifference vs. Interest
Overall, what you’re looking for when you’re deciding whether to approach a woman is more signs indicating interest than indifference. These can come in many forms since all women are unique!
Some examples of indifference include…
- Looking at her phone,
- Putting her headphones in,
- Maintaining very little eye contact,
- Turning her back to you, or
- Walking past you nonchalantly.
In addition to gazing for long periods of time, looking frequently, and moving closer to you, she may show a few other signs of interest and open body language signs such as…
- Adjusting her hair, clothes, or jewelry,
- Looking at you while talking quietly to her friend (who then turns to look at you),
- Mirroring your gestures, behavior, or attitude, or
- Smiling at you shyly or invitingly.
If you’re still wondering how to tell if a woman wants you to approach her, think about it this way: she’ll EITHER do things that make it easier for you to start a conversation, OR she’ll do things to make that very difficult.
While you’re the one who will be approaching her, she’s the one who extends the nonverbal approach invitations.
The real question isn’t whether or not you should approach her… it’s whether or not you’re picking up on the answer she’s already given you.
And when in doubt, you can make your way towards her, see how she responds to that, and then if still in doubt, say hello, and see how she responds to that.
There is plenty of time to assess the situation and adjust based on her cues to keep everyone as comfortable and happy as possible while making room for sparks to fly!
Conclusion on how to tell if a woman wants you to approach her
Let’s review what we went over today: If she’s…
- Gazing at you,
- Looking over frequently,
- Moving closer, or
- Showing signs of interest…
… then she definitely wants you to approach her!
Your Next Steps
It’s time to take action and make sure your dating and leadership skills keep improving. Here’s what to do next!
First, download our free ebook, “Why PUA Doesn’t Work for Introverts & What Works Instead” to build your dating skills on a foundation of confidence!
For more personalized support, consider getting powerful 1:1 dating coaching for men.
Our in-depth 12-week comprehensive program will provide tangible exercises and personalized feedback so that you can confidently…
- Attract more women by bringing out your unique best,
- Meet and connect with those great women successfully, and
- Fill your dating funnel with quality dates while feeling more like yourself than ever!
Launch your own dating life with ease by getting the best help out there for introverted men.
Learn more and express interest here to speak with us about it!