What to Say When Approaching A Woman: 10 Words

Here’s how the conversation usually goes:

Me: “What actually stops you from approaching a woman?”
You guys: “I guess I just don’t know what to say…”

I totally get it.

First thing is to explore the heart of the matter: your self-concept and confidence level to start (which you can build up in spades inside this awesome free ebook all about finding your own unique vibe! >> Get the ebook here. <<)

Today in this post, we’re going to get into exact real world tactics and cover exactly what to say when approaching a woman.

This is exciting!

I’m about to give you a word-for-word first thing you can say that is NOT cheesy, NOT sleazy, NOT typical pick-up line.

As an introverted guy, this should come as a refreshment to you.

Being an introverted man, you are already attractive as you are; you don’t have to cover over your nature with tricks.

Instead, you can be straightforward and relaxed as you gauge her warmth and decide whether to approach her.

You can literally say the following words to any woman you find attractive and are compelled to connect with, and it will come across as authentic… because it is. 

Ready? Let’s go. 10 words total:


“I noticed you, and I had to come say ‘hi.'”

Simple and true.

That’s why it’s awesome.

I’m sure you know that trouble always comes in when you overcomplicate stuff. So let’s keep it real:

1. You noticed her. (Yep, always true 100% of the time. Otherwise you’d not approach in the first place).

2. You had to come say “hi.” (Also true 100% of the time. If you didn’t say ‘hi’ to her, you’d have let her out of your sight and been kicking yourself all the way home).

It’s important for you to say the above to her naturally and easily, almost like you were already friends.


The message behind it…

Success in what to say when approaching a woman is less about exactly what you say (as there are many more options for opening lines besides this!).

It’s more about how you say it, the easy-feeling assumptions behind it.

You’re assuming connection, which makes you look and feel relaxed. That, in turn, puts her at ease.

Of course, she may be a little caught off-guard at first. She was in her own world, doing her shopping or thinking about something, totally in her head…

Guess what? Because of this fact, that first moment will ALWAYS be a little disorienting for both of you, and that’s okay.

As long as you remain calm and at ease in the midst of, she will perceive you as trustworthy and badass.

Think of it like this:

  • Who trusts a nervous guy, shifty in his shoes? Almost no one.
  • Who trusts an open, easygoing guy? Nearly everyone.

I’m sure you can imagine why: your body language, your vibe, either destroys or engenders trust.

A woman must feel safe with you on some level for her to be open to you at all. Also, she must perceive you as powerful on some level in order for her to be interested at all.

Now let’s get back to your new 100% genuine line, “I noticed you, and I had to come say, ‘hi’.”


Not only is this opener true and authentic, it is also intriguing.

She’s wondering, what does he notice about me? In this moment, you invariably have her interest, as long as you are being relaxed and open.

Everyone likes to know what other people find attractive about them. If she’s open to you and likes you, she’ll offer something to keep the conversation going.

Women talk too when they like you and feel intrigued.

So you don’t have to do all the work or know what to talk about in advance when you’re meeting someone for the first time. (That said, you can go here for a guide on small talk for the first approach and well afterward.)

As long as you are calm and open like the badass you are, she’ll WANT to talk to you to keep you around and interested in her.

Really! Try it.


Once you know what to say when approaching a woman:

The next time you wonder what to say when approaching a woman, say this one simple line. It’s always true, always authentic, always natural. Keep it relaxed, and you’re good to go.

Where to take things from here, so you can build on the connection?


Check out these free resources for introverted men to keep things going:

  1. Soon after you approach, here are 5 ways to find out if she’s single.
  2. Then, once things are going well, here’s how to get her number in 4 steps.
  3. But to nearly guarantee success, the very best thing you can do is find your uniquely attractive vibe.

Seriously. This ebook is super helpful.

Imagine being able to talk to any woman you want, because you already know why and how *you* are attractive, why she’d be interested in you to begin with. We can do that together! It all starts in the pages of this very ebook.

Sarah Jones
Sarah Jones
Sarah Jones is founder and CEO of Introverted Alpha; the premier dating coaching company for introverted men; featured by Forbes, Business Insider, Cosmo, and more. Pick up your free copy of Sarah's 22-page ebook inside the blue box just below.

Find Your Own Unique Vibe

Discover what makes you naturally attractive in this 22-page ebook PDF, for free.

"I went through the ebook this week, and it was truly enlightening... not just in how I'm attractive to women, but also in a what's important to me as a man and human being." - J.O.

"I especially like how you’re a strong alternative to short-term, shallow PUA tactics." - K.K.

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Become A Benevolent Badass. Attract Women Naturally.

Hi there! Before you go, would you like my ebook? It has some of my best material on finding your edge and building your confidence. :)

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