How to Ask a Girl for Her Number In 4 Seamless Steps

Getting a woman’s number can be scary.

When you can answer, “How to ask a girl for her number?” with clear steps, then things turn out much better… towards a date that you and her can both enjoy!

The fears are real, though. For example, have you ever had these thoughts shared by other Introverted Alpha readers?

“What if she has a boyfriend?”

“What if she isn’t attracted to me?

“Or what if she’s offended I even asked?”

In reality, getting her number can be simple.

Super simple!

Figuring out how to ask a girl for her number has only seemed complicated in the past because you didn’t know the step by steps, and that’s what I’m about to teach you right now.

Before we get into that, I need to let you know that you’ll never be able to get a woman’s number successfully if you don’t believe that she’d want to date you. 

She can be giving you all the signs, but if you don’t know why you’re uniquely attractive, what good does it do? You’ll let the opportunity slip right through your fingers.

That’s why we have our free ebook that walks you through exactly how to mine the “sexual attractiveness gold” inside of yourself so you can confidently get any woman’s number in a smooth and seamless way. >> Download the ebook here. <<

After many years at Introverted Alpha, countless men have found their groove with the ebook’s help: Reason being, when you know what’s attractive about you, you can harness that in the moment with a woman!

Back to the task at hand of how to ask a girl for her number. 

Since getting a woman’s phone number is more bold and direct than getting her Instagram, Facebook, or Snapchat, we’re going to talk about how to ask a girl for her number in a non-creepy way.

Very excited to share this with you guys!

The four steps I’m going to teach you today work well whether it’s daytime or nighttime, as they’re simple and straightforward to do.

Let’s find out how to ask a girl for her number!


Step 1: Be close to her before you get her phone number.

During the course of a conversation with her, get closer to her to see how she responds to your presence. 

Proximity is very important for chemistry and attraction because this is how a woman can get a stronger sense of you. You can discover much more about this here.

Women “feel their way” through proximity to you, more than sight alone.

This is a critical first step in how to ask a woman for her number because if there’s no chemistry, there’s no number exchange!


There are three mini-steps inside this step:

  • Move closer to her whether standing or sitting, slowly and gently, so that it’s like two very close friends talking, two people very comfortable and happy with each other.
  • Read her response to your closeness. Is she drawing closer in return or pulling away? For more on this topic, check out my article on flirting signs or my article on how to know if she wants you to make a move.
  • If she’s drawing closer or if she’s “neutral but happy,” meaning she isn’t coming closer but maybe she’s leaning into you more and smiling, then you can stay close to her. If not, then definitely create space again quickly.

You can touch her gently as well, if you are comfortable with that. But proximity alone is straightforward and simple, so it helps you set up the dynamic well as you go to get her number.


Step 2: Hint that you’d like to see her again.

There are two ways you can do this:

(Option 1) Plant the seed. While you’re talking, see if you can direct the conversation to your favorite bars, coffee shops, parks, or other fun first date ideas.

You can mention a place and how much you like it and ask her if she has been there.

If she has been there before, you can say…

It would be fun to go with you!

If she has not been there before, you can say… 

It would be fun to take you; I think you’d really like it!

(Option 2) Tell her you enjoy her. If suggesting a place doesn’t come up naturally, no worries! You can tell her something like…

I think you’re [insert genuine thought here], and I like being around you.

When you say this with confidence, this will make her heart flutter if she at all feels attracted to you!


Step 3: Know why she would enjoy spending time with you.

When going to get her number, a lot of guys feel creepy or “off,” like it’s this big question that is somehow unreasonable, even after a rapport is built.

They feel this way because they’re more thinking about what they want from her, like…

  • approval,
  • feminine beauty,
  • touch.

They’re not as much thinking about what she may want from them that they also have to give, like…

  • attractive male presence,
  • knee-weakening touch,
  • fun and laughter.

So how do you find out what she wants, that you also have to give?

  1. Know what’s great about you already. (Our ebook helps tremendously with that!)
  2. Get to know her more, and see if there’s chemistry as you talk.

If so, then getting her phone number makes perfect sense as the next natural step for the two of you. (!)


Step 4: Get your phone, and say, “Hey, let me get your number.”

Getting her number is the easy part now that you’ve done the heavy lifting:

  1. You’ve been close to her in a natural, friendly way (Step 1).
  2. You’ve hinted that you’d like to see her again (Step 2).
  3. And you’ve remembered why she would actually genuinely enjoy spending time with you (Step 3).

Once you’ve crossed those first three steps off your list for how to ask a girl for her number, you can get it anytime, whether that’s towards the end of the conversation, or sooner.

It can feel like a critical moment to get her number, but it’s really not a big deal once you’ve done the previous steps.

It doesn’t really matter *when* you get her number, as much as what needs to happen *before* that point.

That said, it can be fun to wait until the end of your time together to get her hoping,

“Wow, I really like this guy. I hope he gets my number!”

At that point or whenever you feel like you’ve done Steps 1 through 3, here’s how to ask a girl for her number in a smooth, natural way:


Simply hand her your cell phone, and say…

“Hey, let me get your number.”


“I’d love to get your number.”

That’s it!

If you’d like to add something more (you don’t have to!), you can add,

“Hey, I’d love to see you again.”

Or you can say,

“I really would love to take you to xyz… Let me get your number,”


Number-Getting Logistics

When it comes to how to ask a girl for her number, the logistics are simple:

(1) Open your phone to the texting screen.

(2) Let her enter her number in the “to” field and her first name in the text message field.

(3) Then fill it in with,

“Hey (her name), it was great to meet you at X. – Your Name.”

As for what to text her once you get her number, you can add something flirtatious in the text if that’s your style, but you don’t need to.

Don’t be afraid to keep it simple and move towards planning the date!


In summary, here’s how to ask a girl for her number in 4 seamless steps:

(1) Touch her or be close to her before you get her number!
(2) Hint that you’d like to see her again.
(3) Remember why she would enjoy spending time with you.
(4) Take out your phone, and say, “Hey, let me get your number.”

Now that you know this seamless four-step sequence for how to ask a girl for her number, no more banging your head against the wall!

No more anguished asking yourself for hours, “Why didn’t I get her number?”

You’re all good in this regard.


But what about overall confidence as an introvert?

Sure, you now know how to ask a girl for her number, but what about feeling like the kind of guy she’d want to date?

I mean, you don’t want to resort to pickup tricks, so what are you supposed to do?

Well, we have an amazing resource for you called “Why PUA Doesn’t Work for Introverts & What Works Instead.”

It’s a powerful 22-page ebook all about finding your own uniquely attractive vibe!

Inside, you’ll learn… 

  • 3-step exercise to find what makes you uniquely attractive
  • Why the “pickup artist” approach will never work for introverts and what works instead
  • How to attract women naturally by being your best self

Interested? Let us know where to send the 22-page ebook by going to this page and clicking the big red button, then filling out your info. Download the ebook for free right here.

Sarah Jones
Sarah Jones
Sarah Jones is founder and CEO of Introverted Alpha; the premier dating coaching company for introverted men; featured by Forbes, Business Insider, Cosmo, and more. Pick up your free copy of Sarah's 22-page ebook inside the blue box just below.

Find Your Own Unique Vibe

Discover what makes you naturally attractive in this 22-page ebook PDF, for free.

"I went through the ebook this week, and it was truly enlightening... not just in how I'm attractive to women, but also in a what's important to me as a man and human being." - J.O.

"I especially like how you’re a strong alternative to short-term, shallow PUA tactics." - K.K.

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