Flirting for Introverts: The Complete How-To Guide

Flirting tips for introverts

Does the thought of flirting make you feel like you are venturing into uncharted territory, yet you know you need to master this key skill in order to enjoy success in your dating life? If you’re an introverted man who resonates with this thought process, you’ve come to the right place! :)

Rest assured that we don’t believe in cheesy pick-up lines, mindless small talk, or a “fake it till you make it” facade. Here at Introverted Alpha, we believe in embracing who you are and showcasing your best qualities to others.

Before we dive in, have you ever felt like this IA reader (we’ll call him Elijah):

“I am not very skilled or experienced with flirtation. In fact, talking to a woman I’m attracted to with romantic intentions is frightening to me.

“Almost every weekend, I end up going to a bar or concert with a friend with the intention of meeting women. Instead, I almost always end up talking to my friend the whole night, watching eligible women walk by. I always play it safe.

“I can’t help but compare myself to all the other men I see daily, who are taller, better looking… I don’t feel like I can compete. I am somewhat confident in my personality and believe I’m an interesting person. I have a great sense of humor, am passionate and knowledgeable, self aware, love to travel, and know how to have fun.

“I know that I can be a valuable asset to someone’s life and I do think that if I can get past some obstacles, I have substantial romantic potential.”

If you can relate to Elijah’s thoughts, keep reading.

Today, we’re going to address our most-asked questions about dating for introverts. We’ll cover…

  • Body language,
  • Personality type, and
  • Our most powerful insider tip.

By the end of this post, you will have a much better understanding of flirting for introverts.


Why does flirting matter in the first place?

When you know why women are already attracted to you, then you can flirt confidently and go on great dates.

Before we go further…

In order for any of this to be of use to you, you first need to find out what qualities you already possess that make you attractive.

Reason being, you can flirt with ease and confidence when you are firmly rooted on a foundation of who you are and what you have to offer to a relationship.

That’s exactly what this free 22-page ebook helps you with!

Be sure to download “Why PUA Doesn’t Work For Introverts & What Works Instead” now so you can circle back after you read this post!

Now, let’s dive in!


Body Language

Body language is a topic that can (understandably!) feel both incredibly important AND incredibly overwhelming.

Instead of writing a million-page novel here, we’re going to link to and describe some of our most popular blog posts on this subject, so that you can peruse the ones that appeal to you most!

  1. Body Language For Attraction: How To Move As A Man: Discovering why being present, open, and yourself is so powerful in the context of body language.
  2. How To Touch A Woman When Flirting, Without Overstepping: Incorporating touch can feel like a challenge where introverted men fear messing up. This will help guide you through the process from start to finish!
  3. Flirting Body Language: 5 Tell-Tale Signs From Shy Women: Learning to recognize flirting cues from the opposite sex can help you hone your own nonverbal communication!
  4. Importance Of Touch In Attraction, Flirting, And Dating: Written by our incredible founder, Sarah Jones, this article goes in-depth on the way your body language and touch can revolutionize your dating results.

To further your knowledge on how body language plays a role in flirting, be sure to check out our hub for conversation and flirting for other articles on this topic!


Personality Type and Flirting Styles

In an interesting study out of the University of Kansas concerning personality types and flirting styles, 5 main flirting styles were identified:

  • Physical: People who flirt physically rely on their bodies, body language, and physical touch to develop intrigue, desire, and a powerful emotional connection.
  • Traditional: Those with more traditional beliefs around flirting prefer that men make the first move, communicate desire, and pursue the other person, instead of those actions being initiated by women.
  • Polite: A common style amongst introverts, a polite approach to flirting emphasizes respectful manners with a desire to delay sexual connection until a substantial emotional bond is built.
  • Sincere: This style is cited as being most correlated with dating success, as well as “rapid relational escalation of important relationships with more emotional connection and greater physical chemistry.”
  • Playful: This approach is often light-hearted and very easy to spot. Although some may believe this flirting technique is done out of a desire to have fun while building one’s own self-esteem more than to find a long-term partner, being playful helps people relax and enjoy flirting while building a connection .

Depending on your personality type, some flirting styles may feel more natural to you than others. For example, many introverted men gravitate toward a more sincere style. However, that doesn’t mean you can’t be an introverted guy who prefers more physical or playful styles!

Ironically, when most introverted men think about flirting, they tend to picture the physical and playful styles when in fact, these are two of the less effective approaches for building a lasting connection!


Bonus insider tip for 2 big “how to’s”

We want to share one last tidbit here! Two of our most requested “how to’s” are…

  1. How to build an emotional connection, and
  2. How to feel comfortable in social situations.

Let’s be real here… Most introverts aren’t the most touchy feely type of people out there. However, there are still ways that you can build relational intimacy and trust as you flirt.

Want to know how?

Pay attention.

Although being attentive may sound simplistic, this action can be one of the most challenging, meaningful ways you can BOTH cultivate a beautiful emotional bond AND develop your confidence so that you feel good in your own skin, no matter where you find yourself.

Paying attention builds an emotional connection because you are able to communicate your genuine interest without having to even say, “I’m interested.” Actions speak louder than words, and this scenario is no exception!

Meanwhile, paying attention enables you to feel comfortable in social situations because you are able to…

  • Perceive others’ social cues,
  • Notice red flags,
  • Pick up on a woman’s subtle hints that she’s interested, and
  • Stop worrying so much about what others think of you.

At the end of the day, as C.S. Lewis says, “It’s not about thinking less of yourself… It’s about thinking of yourself less.”


Final dating advice about flirting for introverts

Couple Holding Hands - Flirting For IntrovertsNow that you know how to think through flirting for introverts, you’ll be able to determine the best course of action for yourself!



Your Next Steps

Here’s what to do next to make sure your dating and leadership skills keep improving:

  1. For more advice on how to flirt, check out our collection of posts on Conversation and Flirting.
  2. Download our free ebook, “Why PUA Doesn’t Work for Introverts & What Works Instead” to build these flirting skills on a foundation of confidence!
  3. For more personalized support, consider our First Touch To First Kiss program.

First Touch To First Kiss gives you the inside scoop on the 10-step seamless sequence to…

  • Earning her trust,
  • Building chemistry, and
  • Always knowing what to do next.

This powerful self-paced program allows you to absorb and integrate the material in your own personal timing. Don’t wait! Discover how to incorporate touch and start building mutual attraction with her today.

Picture of Micayla from IA
Micayla from IA
Micayla is resident writer here at Introverted Alpha, which is known as the premier dating coaching company for introverted men; featured by Forbes, Business Insider, Cosmo, and more. Pick up your free copy of our 22-page ebook inside the blue box just below.

Attracting An Amazing Girlfriend Starts with Finding Your Own Vibe.

Introverted Alpha Ebook

In this powerful free 22-page ebook, “Why PUA Doesn’t Work for Introverts And What Works Instead,” you will uncover… 

–> 3-step exercise to find what makes you uniquely attractive

–> Why the “pickup artist” approach will never work for introverts and what works instead

–> How to attract women naturally being your best self

"I love how personalized and caring you guys are at Introverted Alpha! It's so wholesome and refreshing." - I.L.

"I especially like how you’re a strong alternative to short-term, shallow PUA tactics." - K.K.

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Couple In Love - IA Academy - Introverted Alpha

Attracting An Amazing Girlfriend Starts With Finding Your Own Vibe.

In this powerful free 22-page ebook, "Why PUA Doesn't Work for Introverts And What Works Instead," you will uncover...


--> A 3-step exercise to find what makes you uniquely attractive
--> Why the “pickup artist” approach will never work for introverts and what works instead

--> How to attract women naturally being your best self

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