“I’m living in a new place, and I don’t know how to meet women here. What can I do?”
We get it:
It can be tough to know intuitively how to meet women when you have just moved to a new city.
You have no idea what the best local hangouts might be, you’re not sure where anything is, and you might not have established a social circle yet to show you around.
If you’re wracking your brain about how you, as an introverted guy, can wade into the deep and unfamiliar waters of dating in a new place, you might feel like you’re in over your head.
Don’t worry. That’s what we’re going to be solving today.
- maximizing your chances of meeting a match by giving online dating a go,
- discovering your new city’s best hangout spots, and
- using your recent move as a fresh start to uplevel your dating approach.
But before we discuss how to get started, let’s talk about why.
Should you be figuring out how to meet women so soon after moving?
Think about how you feel when you procrastinate on an important project.
Chances are, the longer you put something off, the more you dread eventually having to tackle it. In some cases, that project gets pushed to the back burner for so long that you never end up getting to it at all.
If you already have a pattern in your life of prioritizing work or school over dating, it can be all too easy to fall into those same old habits after you move to a new city.
Happily, now is the perfect time to change that pattern.
Your recent move is a fresh start. You already have a new home and possibly a new job, so why not start off strong with a new approach to your dating life, as well?
Get the scary part (starting!) out of the way quickly, and make healthy dating habits part of your new life pattern.
Now, let’s jump in.
Give online dating a shot. Yes, really.
The concept of online dating has a curious effect on introverted people.
Some folks shudder at the thought of signing up for a digital platform where their pictures are paraded in front of hundreds of strangers who they’re expected to actually hold conversations with.
But, if you stop and think about it for a moment, online dating is one of the best things to happen to introverts in the history of… well, ever.
From the comfort of your home, you can decide who you want to meet, and when.
And, when you do get a match, you have time to craft the perfect opening line to inspire her interest immediately.
It’s an introvert’s dream!
If you’re sitting in your brand new, empty-walled abode wondering how to meet women in this big new city and you still haven’t given online dating a real try, you owe it to yourself to make a profile.
Investigate your city’s local hangout spots.
When you’re new in town, you’re not expected to know the best places to go to meet single women in your age group.
Some cities have a strong bar or club culture, while others have a more “millennial” flair and favor artsy gatherings or music halls.
You probably won’t intuitively pick out great places to go just by driving past them on your way to work and back every day. It will take some effort to get out there, engage, and learn about your new city.
When in doubt, ask for opinions on great places to go.
- your coworkers,
- friends who know the area, or even
- matches that you talk to on a dating app.
The more people you ask, the more suggestions you will get. Keep a list handy in your phone or Moleskine!
Even better, when your coworkers hear you’re on the lookout for fun social spots, they will be more likely to invite you along to events they plan to attend. This is a great opportunity to meet women.
If you’ve just started a brand new job as part of your move, it is also an excellent way to get to know your new colleagues.
In addition to talking to people you already know, don’t underestimate Google and Yelp as resources.
With hundreds of reviews at your fingertips, it will be easier to narrow down a few top choices from the (sometimes overwhelming) number of search results in a new area.
Just keep in mind…
Once you gather this list of cool places to go, you must actually go there if you want to meet women in person.
And, once you go there, you will then need to approach women you are interested in, if you would like to strike up a conversation.
Though introverts sometimes have trouble pushing themselves to jump into unknown social situations, the benefits here far outweigh the risks.
But, if you’re intimidated by the thought of pushing your comfort zone to the point of showing up at a new place and talking to new women all at once, that’s okay! That may not be something you have ever done before.
You can absolutely take things slowly, as long as you continue to push your boundaries little by little. (This is exactly what we can help you do in a gentle and focused way inside our program!)
You could ask a friend to go with you!
Or, maybe just drive to the location and spend fifteen minutes there for the first time all by yourself. It’s okay to get acquainted with a place before you dive into the deep end and start approaching women.
It’s all part of the learning process. The point is, you are growing and changing!
Which brings us to our next point…
Take the opportunity to reinvent yourself.
Most people don’t often get the chance to start over with a clean slate in a new city.
Embrace your fresh start.
Because, here’s the thing:
When you choose to make the effort to improve your dating life, you will get much of your practice by greeting and talking to women you have an interest in.
This is a necessary and unavoidable part of the process. So, why not maximize your chances of success and your enjoyment of it?
Think of the issue in your past that has most held you back from dating.
- were so busy focusing on school or your career that you didn’t put much effort into learning how to meet women,
- came from a small town and felt intimidated by the fact that you knew almost everyone you were in contact with, or
- felt too shy to approach a woman out of nowhere without knowing exactly what to say next.
The women in this new city have no idea who you were in your life “before.”
Now is your chance to use this as a fresh start and introduce yourself as who you are becoming.
Don’t focus on what is missing from the past. Instead, acknowledge what experience you do have, what you’ve accomplished already, and what you’re building for the future.
In other words, reframe your self-perception.
You don’t have to feel…
- insecure about not having built much dating experience,
- shy, as the small-town guy who fears rejection, or
- too intimidated to ask an attractive woman out at the grocery store.
Instead, you are…
- the successful businessman who built his career from the ground up with dedication and passion,
- the countryman with a laid-back attitude that puts everyone at ease, or
- the guy who will absolutely approach that woman at the grocery store, because you feel good about yourself and you realize that confidence is attractive.
When you reframe your own perspective of yourself to be more positive, you present a more attractive version of yourself to the world by default.
Conclusion on how to meet women when you’ve just moved to a new city
By now, you have a solid grasp on how to meet women in your new town. Put those tips into practice and get your dating life off to a brand new start!
And if you’d like our 1:1 dedicated support in a joint-team effort (Introverted Alpha women + YOU!), we can do that! Go here to find out how.
As a brief recap, we covered…
- meeting women via online dating,
- approaching women in person by finding and attending local hangout spots, and
- embracing the opportunity to become a whole new and better version of yourself.
These steps are just the beginning! If you’re just starting down the path of boosting your dating skills (or if you’d like some extra help!) download our free ebook, “Why PUA Doesn’t Work for Introverts & What Works Instead.”
And to learn how we can work with you 1:1, go here. Spots are always limited because our program truly is customized and crafted for you on your own journey! So go here to find out details.