How can you meet women when you live in a small town?
If your town’s population is on the more modest side…
Do you feel like the pool of women you want to date is dwindling because you live in such a small town? Have you already gotten to know most of the women in your local area?
It can be tough to date in a small town even when you’re not an introvert. So, for introverted guys, this issue often seems insurmountable.
Happily, we’ll be tackling how to conquer small-town dating today.
In this post, we’ll discuss some important strategies:
- Consider expanding your search radius. There is a great match for you out there somewhere. You can find her!
- Use online dating as a tool to help you meet a match for you, whether she ends up being down the street or a little further.
- Follow a few simple guidelines to make a new relationship work when it’s long-distance.
But before we jump in, let’s talk about something important:
Why is it so important to learn how to date in a small town?
To solve the issue entirely, you would have to not be living in a small town anymore. But moving to a big city just for dating purposes is expensive and pretty impractical!
This is why some men, especially introverts, find it tempting to put dating on the back burner when they are faced with an obstacle such as a small dating pool in a tiny town.
However, putting it off and just “living with it” is much less healthy (and much less fun!) than choosing to change the situation and find potential solutions.
When you just live with an issue, you never get anywhere. In ten years, you might still be living in the same place and facing the same obstacle, except now it’s even worse because of all those years of doing nothing.
We don’t want that for you! We want you to thrive.
To improve your dating prospects, you must make changes to your strategy.
Now, let’s dive in.
Start where you are.
When the people around you are the same ones you’ve grown up with, it can be intimidating to ask an old friend from high school out on a date in small town.
Your date may have already heard stories about you from friends of friends. Or, maybe she remembers how you were years ago.
It’s tough to embark on a new journey with someone when she already carries pre-formed opinions and memories of you, and you of her.
Happily, modern technology wants to help you solve this problem!
You can start out simply by using dating apps to look for local women. Yes, even (and especially!) if you’re convinced your town has nothing to offer in the way of potential matches.
Chances are, unless your town is about 12 people big, you don’t know everyone within your potential dating pool.
And, even if you do, dating apps help you connect with women you might not have even known were available.
You might eat at the same local restaurant every Friday night and make pleasant conversation with Susan, the lovely brunette waitress.
But once you find Susan’s profile on a dating app and realize she’s not only single but looking for a date, you suddenly realize this opportunity is a lot more promising than it first seemed.
And… It’s especially promising for you if you both swipe right on each other and express interest through the relative safety of your smartphones.
Suddenly, it’s not intimidating at all to ask Susan out!
Dating apps have a way of taking the awkwardness out of actively searching for love. After all, that’s what everyone is doing on there.
So, if you run into someone you know, and you’re both single and interested, that’s several hurdles you have cleared all at once!
Dating apps can and absolutely do work for finding a date in a small town.
But if you’ve given it a solid shot for a few months and aren’t having much luck… first consider letting us help you in our Launch Your Dating Life program, so we can get your profile at 100%!
(Even better if you let us help from the get-go to really make use of every single opportunity since they’re more rare in a small town.)
Branch out, geographically speaking.
Set the search radius on your dating app a little wider.
Try to encompass the next few towns over, or even a nearby major city. Being willing to drive a little farther if you find a great match can expand your pool of prospects exponentially.
When you’re setting your search radius for “medium-range,” the actual distance you choose is completely up to you, of course.
But, if you’re having trouble deciding, consider these factors:
- How frequently would you (ideally) want to see a partner if you found a great match?
- How far would you be willing to drive to see her at that level of frequency?
- If things work out beautifully, would you be willing to continue making that drive on a regular basis?
There are no right or wrong answers here, but do try to push your comfort zone just a little.
Once you’ve expanded your radius and started talking to a much larger pool of women than you would find in your hometown, you can make matches much more quickly.
When you do find a promising date, how do you handle the distance between you?
Here at Introverted Alpha, we’re always going to recommend that you take the gentlemanly route! In the case of a medium-distance first date, this means that you drive to her.
Or, if she expresses that she is happy to make the drive too, you can pick a middle point between you. Just make sure that “middle” point is actually slightly closer to her than it is to you. ;)
Before you meet up, be sure to Google this new area and get a few ideas for your date. Check out the reviews and ratings for restaurants, attractions, museums, fairgrounds, or whatever appeals to you for a great first date location!
But, since one or both of you will be traveling a significant distance, it is definitely worthwhile to make a plan A, B, and C. This is so you’re not left twisting in the wind if your first choice falls through.
Finally, don’t shut the door on the possibility of a long-distance relationship.
Long-distance relationships get a bad rap.
Yes, they have their own set of challenges that “normal” relationships do not have. They also offer exciting opportunities that you would not have if you only choose to date in a small town.
Traveling to see your love is thrilling, romantic, and adventurous!
You might get to see new things, visit new places, and meet people you would never have had the opportunity to meet, if only you are willing to take a chance.
And, solid long-distance relationships practically force you to trust each other and respect a partner’s boundaries, so they can absolutely be a part of a healthy relationship dynamic.
The “stick” is the travel time and cost, but the “carrot” is a potentially wonderful match or relationship with someone who lives just a little further out than you originally planned.
How do you handle the distance between you on this even larger scale?
You might not get to see each other as often as either of you would hope. At least at first, when things are just beginning to develop between you, this is tough.
It can be tempting to fill that void with constant texts and phone calls early on in the relationship. After all, when you’re in the “getting to know you” phase, you want to talk frequently and really get to know your partner!
However, remember that long-distance relationships function differently than normal relationships.
All those texts and calls foster deep conversations and a much stronger emotional connection more quickly than the kind you might develop if you were going on in-person dates where the focus is on an activity, rather than solely on each other.
Sometimes, one or both people in the relationship are not ready for that kind of intense emotional intimacy right off the bat.
Resist the urge to jump into the deep end and talk for an hour every night before bed. Try to temper your texting and calling habits at first to let the emotional connection develop at a normal pace.
Conclusion on how to date in a small town.
Finding a relationship when you live in a small town can certainly be challenging. But, challenges are meant to be overcome!
Today’s post explained how…
- embracing modern technology and signing up for a dating app,
- setting a wider search radius, and
- broadening your horizons toward traveling a little further than you expected…
…can help you find a great match, no matter where she lives.
Now, how about getting all set to use Hinge and Facebook Dating well, no matter what your distance radius? We’re doing a live training on Tuesday, January 14th. Secure your spot right here.
And, if you’re ready to truly dive in and become a benevolent badass in your dating life, consider joining our Launch Your Dating Life program. We take care to make sure all the advice we give you is personalized and customized to your exact situation! Join us in a 1:1 phone call (apply here), and we can see if the program is right for you!