How to Meet Women at the Gym

What if you could easily meet women at the gym and turn it into dates?

Today, you’re going to hear from one man who was very inexperienced with women doing exactly that.

We’ll call this past client Reece. Reece used to have no idea how to meet women at the gym or anywhere for that matter. He was terrified to approach them. It was hard for him to make eye contact, and he hated small talk.

He’d tell himself,

“Next time, I’ll say something.”

But between barbell sets, he ended up watching most women come and go along with all the other gym-goers he didn’t feel like he could strike up a conversation with.

The trouble was, he didn’t know…

  • what to say to start a conversation,
  • how to approach women without using cheesy pickup lines, or
  • how to just say hi and then successfully take things from there.

Awesomely, once he started doing a few things I’m going to share with you today, he was suddenly able to meet women at the gym without even trying.

He met multiple women!

He was just going about his business, knowing what a badass he was, and women were magnetized to him. 

Not only was Reece able to easily meet women at the gym… he was meeting so many that he was running out of personal time.

Honestly, he had to dial it back a bit. A nice problem to have. :)

Below, I’ve transcribed our coaching call from back in the day.

First I’ll share two prefaces to Reece’s success, followed by the 7 Secrets he used to meet women at the gym, in his own words.

 

Preface 1: You are likely more attractive than you realize.

As you learn about Reece’s sudden success with meeting women at the gym, you may be thinking,

“Did this dude walk out of a magazine with perfect abs and a chiseled everything?”

No. He didn’t.

He’s a good-looking guy because he takes care of himself, and if you’re a long-time regular at the gym, you are too!

Keep that in mind as you read this post.

If you work out regularly, you have an amazing head start when it comes to attracting beautiful women, even if you’re not sure what else you’ve got going for you yet.

That’s because regular workouts show you’re determined, persistent, and strong: three attractive qualities.

Do you know how many people want to go to the gym but don’t? If you work out, you’re ahead of most.

If not but you’d like to, check out Steve Kamb’s Nerd Fitness. He’s an amazing resource and a really cool guy.

Now let’s get to it. First, you’ll hear directly from Reece about his own experience.

Then you and I will debrief together so we can apply everything to you. Once we’re done, you can start to meet women at the gym as early as this week, even if you never have before.

 

Preface 2: It all comes down to having a strong vibe.

By the time Reece was able to easily meet women at the gym, the ONLY thing he and I had worked on was his personal vibe.

That was it!

We had literally held two sessions, and he was going nuts with how much attention he started getting from every direction.

It was becoming the norm for him to have the attention of several women in the gym, and two worked up the nerve to approach him.

Yes, you read that right.

Two beautiful women worked up enough nerve to approach him at the gym.

Our third session was just a celebration session. I was transcribing like crazy because I was so excited by everything he was saying!

I’m really glad to share it with you. We were literally basking in happiness for an hour.

Alright, turning it over to Reece and his own words on exactly what he did to meet women at the gym regularly and easily (when he used to be terrified of approaching them!).

 

Secret 1: A strong vibe starts genuine confidence.

Something just kind of clicked with me, and it’s been easier. 

I’m not trying to fit into a box of what I think I need to be or what the typical guy is. And I’m embracing the fact that I’m a nice guy and that girls LOVE that fact.

After our conversations specifically when you said, “If girls don’t like the way you are, then you don’t want to be with that girl anyway,” that resonated with me a lot.

It’s been way easier for me, to be honest, because I do these things that are nice, sweet, and thoughtful. 

Some girls have not responded well to it and I laugh at it and go on my way and feel okay about it, and some girls really enjoy it and like the fact that I do that.

I don’t know; something happened, and it’s definitely gotten a lot easier to just talk to girls. 

It’s because I feel like I can be nice and sweet and caring and thoughtful and still be confident and manly, I guess, for lack of a better word.

 

Secret 2: Trying to “please” kills your vibe.

I don’t have to try to be what I think girls want me to be, but I can be how I want to be. It’s been amazing!

Some of the results have been completely unexpected or unanticipated, like how two girls have asked me out, so I’ll tell you about that a little bit. Totally unexpected.

After our first conversation, I told you that I walked up to the girl at the gym, and I felt good about it because I put myself out there. That girl ended up asking me out two weeks ago.

I go to the gym a lot, and there’s always a lot of people there so I use that as my practice ground just to talk to girls and get more comfortable with it.

Both girls that have asked me out have been at the gym.

 

Secret 3: Stay open to women’s attention on you.

I guess I became more approachable almost for no reason, and it almost seems like overnight.

She asked me out because she saw me talking to another girl, who I didn’t have any romantic interest in. Both girls ended up asking me out.

I don’t know what’s going on here. It’s not normal or typical, but I really enjoyed it. It was a really good feeling. 

I went on a date with both of them, and neither of them ended up working out, but they were great dates, really awesome and enjoyable, really exciting for me.

All I know is I feel a lot better because girls have responded really well to me.

It’s been amazing. I can’t tell you how much fun I’m having.

It’s not just affected women too; it’s also with my friends and my family. So it’s creeped into the other aspects of my life as well.

People ask me what I’m doing because I just seem so happy, because I seem so friendly and approachable.

 

Secret 4: Carry yourself well, naturally.

I guess when there’s a certain part of your life isn’t going well and it starts clicking, your general happiness goes up.

Something about the way I’ve been carrying myself has resonated with my friends and family, so it’s been really eye-opening…

It’s just little things making the difference. 

I’m really happy that I can find my confidence because before, all the things that made me a nice guy, I tried to hide those because the perception was it made you a walk-over or weak or not masculine.

That hiding wasn’t working for me.

Now I’m trying to put it in the forefront, and it’s so much easier too.

 I can be kind of funny and goofy and nice. All that stuff comes really easy to me, like listening to the women that I’m seeing and kind of making fun of myself and being goofy and being nice!

That’s just kind of my natural behavior, and I don’t have to try to put that in the background. Not only have I accepted it, I’m starting to find strength and confidence in it.

 

Secret 5: Enjoy the entirety of being you.

I’m without words, to be honest.

And I have noticed in some of the girls that I talk to, one feedback that I have gotten, not as much recently, but I still do have really strong introversion tendencies, which have kind of made me hard to peg.

Now I have this weird dual thing going on where I can go in and not talk to anyone and be really okay in my own universe, and when someone I know walks by, I’m nice and friendly. So I’m not this overly social guy, but I’m also not being all quiet.

One of the girls touched on it and it was really hard for her to tell what kind of person I was because she saw me be in my own world, and then she saw other people approaching me and talking to me, so she could see I was nice. That was completely unintentional. 

I just do my own thing.

 

Secret 6: Forget about “rejection.”

It’s been really fun. Even my not-so-great experiences have really been fun, and I think it all comes back to knowing that if it doesn’t work out, it’s okay. 

It’s not approaching it like a lot of guys will say, “It’s a numbers game; just talk to every girl.” 

Rather, it’s more if you meet somebody and you try to understand them and they try to understand you and you’re not on the same page, it’s okay.

This is becoming easier for me, not because I’m learning new tricks or learning new things.

I’ve learned to kind of just be okay with the way that I am and the type of man that I am and the things about me that are going to be attractive… 

Not just accepting it, but finding strength in it and embracing it full-heartedly.

 

Secret 7: When in doubt, be real.

If I care about people and I want to be there for them, that’s how I need to portray myself. 

I don’t need to try to be some badass guy who’s a player when he’s not. Instead, I can be confident with being a good guy and embracing that wholeheartedly. 

It’s made everything easy because I’m not swimming upstream.

It doesn’t feel like I’ve done anything major, just changing a couple of perspectives and viewpoints and the other stuff just fell in naturally. 

I changed the way I view myself and what I want and the value I will add to other people.

 

Applying this to YOU meeting women at the gym:

Wow, y’all. Amazing. From totally no dates whatsoever to this.

I love when things fall into place so effortlessly! Sometimes it takes longer, and that’s okay too! Everyone has his own pace. We get there together.

Reece told me through email before we got started coaching that he was committed to being one of my very best clients, one of my biggest success stories. BAM.

This is about DETERMINATION.

When you’re determined and open to the process of finding and honing your own vibe, that’s what happens.

Most of what Reece did in starting to meet women at the gym was from my ebook on finding your own vibe, which you can download here.

The guide is free, and if you really dig in there and do the exercises and study it, then you can be on your way to confidence as you meet women at the gym too.

 

The Takeaway:

To summarize, here are the 2 Preface points I made and the 7 Secrets that Reece discovered, so you can use them to meet women at the gym too.

Preface 1: You are likely more attractive than you realize.
Preface 2: It all comes down to having a strong vibe.

7 Secrets…
1: 
A strong vibe starts with genuine confidence.
2: Trying to “please” kills your vibe.
3: Stay open to women’s attention on you.
4: Carry yourself well, naturally.
5: Enjoy the entirety of being you.
6: Forget about “rejection.”
7: When in doubt, be real.

 

How to Meet Women at the Gym

Notice the theme of realizing who you are and being confident and happy about that.

It’s about not trying to be someone you’re not, just being the best and most badass version of yourself that you can be.

When you feel that confidence, it naturally shows through your body language in a non-creepy way, whether you’re at the gym water fountain, in spin class, or using free weights.

The reason these points work so well to help you meet women at the gym is that women notice you wherever you are once you’ve got these deep-level secrets integrated as a part of who you are.

So if you show up at the gym, they’ll welcome your attention there. At a party? They’ll welcome your attention there. The grocery store or even the sidewalk? They’ll welcome you again.

Focus on that, and women will be noticing you in no time. You’ll be able to meet women at the gym and any place you want when you have that strong confident vibe going for you. It works!

Once again, here’s that ebook. Our readers love it, and I’m confident you will too!

Sarah Jones
Sarah Jones
Sarah Jones is founder and CEO of Introverted Alpha; the premier dating coaching company for introverted men; featured by Forbes, Business Insider, Cosmo, and more. Pick up your free copy of Sarah's 22-page ebook inside the blue box just below.

Find Your Own Unique Vibe

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