Man on Wet Shore - Confidence for Introverted Men

Learn the powerful confidence framework behind our clients’ success.

In order to attract the right women for you in a way that feels really good for both of you, you must have confidence.

If confidence has felt elusive to you up to this point, you may have gotten used to doubting whether you can become confident in yourself.

Well, you CAN.

You can become genuinely deep-down confident… without slapping on outdated pickup-artist techniques or having to be someone you’re not. 

How do I know? Because I’ve watched our clients do it, and they all point back to this very 7-Levels framework as one of, if not the most, impactful and helpful parts of the program.

In this article, I’m sharing with you what I share with them.

We’ll be exploring the underlying core of confidence: how you see yourself and the world.

Our clients discover a whole new world of possibility at their fingertips when they learn what I’m about to share with you.

Once you learn the framework they’re all in on, you’ll be able to better relate to your thoughts and emotions to prevent the feeling of “self-sabotage” and the accompanying self-critical fear.

Instead, you’ll start to INTENTIONALLY and even EASILY switch your thinking and actions into a gear that gets you results and builds sustainable confidence with women over the longterm.

Yes! So exciting. Let’s dive in.

Man Jumping on Rock by Ocean - Confidence for Introverted Men

Let’s explore the 7 Levels Framework.

The 7 Levels Framework was created by Bruce Schneider, the founder of iPEC Coaching. That is the school where I got my professional coaching certification a couple of years before founding Introverted Alpha.

This framework is built on 7 levels, or 7 ways, of being. You can apply these learnings to anything from how to overcome fear of rejection to how to create an amazing connection with a beautiful woman.

Each level is a different perspective of yourself and the world. Everyone is operating within these levels at all times.

The levels you tend to operate at the most determine your self-perception, which in turn shapes your perception of the world around you.

This perception directly correlates to how attractive you are to loving, fun, intelligent women.

Man on Rock over Ocean - Confidence for Introverted MenThe 7 Confidence Levels

The levels are on a greyscale of 100% destructive (the bottom of Level 1) to 100% constructive (the top of Level 7).

Therefore, Level 1 is the most restrictive and most destructive, and it feels the least like your true self. Level 7 is the freest and most constructive level, and it feels great to be up there. It’s a powerful skill.

LEVEL 1: The level of “I lose.”

A man who is often at Level 1 suffers from extremely low self-confidence. This is the absolutely worst place to be. It is more painful than any other human experience.

It’s the level of, “I can’t do it,” “I’m not good enough,” “I’ll never get there,” “It’s been this way for so long, why even try,” “I feel so self-conscious,” “What if she rejects me?” etc.

If someone has a lot of Level 1 in his life, he is constantly releasing destructive hormones into his body that dramatically lessen his confidence and ability to attract women.

It’s crucial for every man to identify what is at the core of his Level 1 thoughts, so he can free himself from them. It is impossible to overstate this.

LEVEL 2: The level of “You lose.”

A man at Level 2 feels angry and blames other people for why he’s not happy. He feels resentful toward women who don’t return his feelings, or worse — ignore him.

Like Level 1, Level 2 is also destructive, and it takes a toll on one’s health and attractiveness. As you can imagine, it turns high-quality women in the other direction. It is very important to identify and clean out.

LEVEL 3: The level of “I win.”

Level 3 is where things turn from mostly destructive to mostly constructive. It’s the level of being a badass. It’s saying, “You know what, no matter what, I’m going to win.

“I’m not going to get stuck in feeling shameful or angry. I’m going to figure out how to make this work for me. I don’t wish any ill towards anyone, but I’m right now focusing on getting what I want.”

This is an extremely important level, because once you get here, you finally have a base sense of confidence to work with. Because of this, going from Level 1 or 2 up to Level 3 feels incredibly refreshing!

LEVEL 4: The level of “You win.”

Level 4 is compassion, and it’s the level that helps women feel safe around you and trust you, so they’ll want to get to know you better.

When you genuinely care for and appreciate others, it is easy and natural for them to do the same for you.

It’s also sexually attractive when it’s pure benevolence. Not “nice guy,” which is heavy in Level 1, but kingly benevolence, which is what Level 4 is about.

It’s a wonderful place to be.

LEVEL 5: The level of “Either we both win, or we don’t play.”

At Level 5, you are so confident that you have completely evolved beyond problems and challenges. You see only opportunities in everything.

Everything is an adventure in your eyes, and your creativity is off the charts. When you’re at this level, you’re energized and excited. Nothing stops you – you don’t let anything get in your way.

At Level 5, you’re amazing at creating win-wins wherever you go, and people naturally look to you as a leader. You can imagine how sexy this is to the kind of woman you’d like to naturally attract.

LEVEL 6: The level of “We all win.”

When you are at Level 6, you feel completely connected to everyone and everything, and so you are highly intuitive.

You’re able to read women easily, and your introverted nature expresses as grounded, calm, and peaceful.

This makes you irresistibly attractive to women. You also feel supported by life itself, which puts you in a continuous state of calm and deep bliss.

LEVEL 7: The level of “There is no winning or losing; this is all a magnificent game.”

At Level 7, you are able to zoom out and see your life in the grand scheme of things and the fact there are 7 billion of us humans on this planet, and then there’s all the other life here and the whole solar system and COSMOS.

It’s an incredible realization that what you think of as “reality” is really only your unique perception, your story. There’s a whole world out there, and you feel energized knowing that.

You’re amazed at life. Whether you’re feeling pain or pleasure, it’s all bliss to you because you’re so excited to be ALIVE.

If all the lower levels are colors on a spectrum of light, Level 7 is like white light that encompasses them all. At Level 7, you are at absolute choice.

You are able to move fluidly through all the levels based on where you want to play, what works best for you in any moment.

Man on Rocky Beach - Confidence for Introverted MenHow To Use These Levels Effectively:

The way to work the 7 Levels Framework is to free yourself from the lower levels and increase your abilities in the higher levels.

When you do this, you are building your confidence exponentially. This in turn increases your attractiveness to women. Naturally and automatically.

Because of this increase in your confidence and attractiveness, you are also an exponentially more RESOURCEFUL man, and you’re able to find and harness the skills, tools, and techniques you need to attract quality women naturally.

Here is OUR #1 TOOL for cleaning out those lower levels so you can hang out in the higher levels more often.

Using the “Level 1 to 3 Power-Up”:

Level 1 Thinking IS the #1 Low-Confidence Trigger, and it is at the root of fear of rejection.

When you have a Level 1 mindset in any given moment, it’s a chain reaction:

What you believe is true about you informs what you think about yourself, which determines what you’re feeling, which then influences what you do.

Most guys look at the end of the line — what they DO — and ignorantly try to fix that head-on.

They just try DOING something different. This is very frustrating for them because the chain reaction already started long ago.

It’s like an assembly line: 

If its product is faulty, don’t focus on the last stage of the line!

Go back to that very first station, and fix it at the source.

Otherwise, you’re putting in a lot of unskilled effort and therefore getting very little reward, if any at all.

The “source” or first station on the assembly line that determines how properly everything else is able to work is MINDSET.

If you’re stuck in a Level 1 mindset (fear of rejection, self-doubt), you’re going to get Level 1 results (not approaching).

Level 1 results then reinforce your Level 1 mindset, and it’s a vicious cycle.

When you’re able to fix the problem at its source and lift yourself up to a Level 3 mindset, you are FREE from the Level 1 trap, and you’ve got a big leg up on connecting with women from a solid place of confidence.

From now on, every time a fearful, self-doubting Level 1 thought comes up, here’s what to do with it.

Here is exactly what to say to yourself:

Say to yourself firmly, “If I had known better, I’d have done better. So now: what do I want, and what’s my next step?”

The reason why this works so well is because in the first sentence, you clean the slate by forgiving yourself through logic.

OF COURSE if you’d known better how to get what you want, you would have done better!

This is always true of you and of everyone else.

The second sentence in the instructions above REFOCUSES your mind on what you want and your next step to get it.

This is very powerful. Imagine if you started doing this every time you were caught in a Level 1 mindset. You’d be free from it in no time.

The key is to be persistent about it and, if possible, couple it with other strategies that are made especially for you.

This way, you’re “stacking” your strategies for maximum leverage and success. This is what we do with our clients.

Man on Sandy Beach - Confidence for Introverted MenSummary of the 7-Levels Framework for Confidence:

Confidence for introverted men is an important skill, and it might feel like a relief to see that you don’t have to discard all thought to do it!

You can work WITH your analytical nature and not against it, thank goodness.

Here’s a recap of what you learned in this article:

The 7 Levels Framework helps you move your thoughts, feelings, and actions up a progressively positive, enjoyable, and constructive chain.

Using the “Level 1 to 3 Power-Up” as often as you can helps you increase your overall confidence level.

Employing intelligent persistence helps you (a) learn how to develop sustainable self-confidence in a smart, thoughtful, linear way; and helps you (b) keep at it until you see results.

For further reading on enhancing and utilizing your newfound confidence, check out…

  1. Introvert Dating Mindset: Getting Your Headspace Right
  2. Overcoming Fear of Rejection in 3 Steps
  3. Free Ebook on Finding Your Uniquely Attractive Vibe

If you’d like to apply all this to your personal situation and develop in confidence not only in general but in the specific phases of dating, we can help.

Check out our 1:1 dating coaching program for introverted men who want to attract the right women for them and self-actualize in the process.

You can also listen to past clients’ experience directly here.

Editor’s Note: This article was originally published in June 2016 and was updated in September 2017 to focus more centrally on the 7 Levels Framework.