The 5 biggest challenges with modern dating
Why is dating so difficult? While each individual person has their own unique growth opportunities when it comes to dating, the truth is that there are some aspects of navigating modern dating that are significantly more challenging these days.
In other words, this has nothing to do with you! It’s not your fault, and you certainly aren’t the only person asking this question.
There are some specific challenges that are unique to this generation, and today we’re going to explore the psychology behind those obstacles based on research from The Thriving Center of Psychology.
As we break down each issue, we’ll also share a tip to help with that specific challenge.
Let’s get into it!
The #1 step you can take to make dating less difficult
When you can proactively address any potential challenges of navigating modern dating, you can feel confident that you are setting yourself up for success from day one.
Now, let’s dive in!
1. People don’t know what they want
One enlightening survey reveals that half of Americans say dating is more difficult now than it was 10 years ago.
So, why is dating so difficult?
Falling in love happens through a deepening connection based on trust, respect, empathy, attraction, and desire. With that being said, falling in love can’t happen until both parties get clarity on what they’re looking for.
Many people are in the process of developing that vision, and sometimes that journey takes dating a handful of people to get more clear on what you do and don’t want in a relationship.
While that self-knowledge and development is normal, you may (understandably!) feel uneasy when you come up against that in others when you take the time to go on dates with them.
The best approach here is to take the time yourself to get clarity on what you’re looking for. If you notice that you’re seeing someone who doesn’t seem to have that clarity yet, encourage them to take the time to explore their own path and then to reach back out if they’re still interested!
2. Harassment is becoming more commonplace
A sizable portion of men and women have reported being harassed when dating. That’s more than half of women and one third of men.
When you’re hesitant about how you might be treated on a date, a person may have difficulty letting someone in who they don’t know, especially if they have been harassed before.
Now more than ever, determining who you can trust involves a certain level of risk, which makes many people think twice before meeting new people and going on dates with those they’ve matched with online.
Consider this both in terms of whether or not you want to go on a date, and also empathizing with why some may people bail on a date at the last minute. When you take this into consideration, you can help the situation feel not as personal.
Our advice here is to really vet potential dates before you go out with them. Find out as much as you possibly can, and if red flags are still popping up, don’t go. If anything concerning happens while you’re on your date, leave as quickly as possible. We always recommend having a backup plan in mind should you ever need to cut a date short.
And on your end, always make sure that the person you’re with feels safe and comfortable, or ask how you can make her feel more that way! This seemingly small action can take great strides in letting your date know that you respect and value her feelings.
3. The modern dating scene has evolved
Naturally, recent events like the pandemic have added even more layers to the already nuanced dating world.
General awareness has increased in several categories:
- People are more likely to be aware of someone’s masking and vaccination beliefs and their politics as well,
- There’s an increased awareness that exposure to others involves a certain level of risk to one’s health and wellbeing, and
- On a brighter note, people usually have more empathy for another’s beliefs, whether they agree with those or not.
The largest difference by far, though, is how the pandemic has influenced people’s priorities.
Whereas before the pandemic, physical attraction was more important and emotional maturity was less important, now the exact opposite is true.
The good news is that someone’s emotional maturity, personality, and personhood holds so much more value than the way that they look!
This is a great shift, so remember that there are so many aspects of who you are that women are looking for!
4. Dating apps come with just as many cons as pros
Think bigger! There are 44.2 million people using online dating apps.
One of the trickiest aspects of dating apps is that so much can be fabricated through a phone or computer screen.
From curating a profile to uploading edited pictures, very few actions happen in real time. With so much space between perception and reality, there can be a lot left to read between the lines.
On top of that, the sheer number of people you could connect with gives you the illusion of too many options.
While relying on algorithms instead of introductions through friends and family used to carry more stigma, online dating has become a pillar of modern dating and is becoming widely accepted.
Our advice here is to improve your Hinge profile and stay authentic in your interactions online! Women will appreciate the fact that you portray yourself in a genuine way.
5. The prevalence of ghosting culture
Ghosting is “the act of suddenly ceasing all communication with someone the subject is dating, but no longer wishes to date.”
While this action is immature and disrespectful, the fact remains that ghosting is also becoming incredibly normalized.
Ghosting is a form of rejection that denies the other person any sense of closure.
When you’re left in the dark as to what actually happened and why that person doesn’t want to see you anymore, that confusion and pain can deter people from investing in future dating and relationships because they’re left wondering how they will feel if the situation happens again.
- Avoiding a confrontation or uncomfortable conversation,
- Someone not matching in person what their dating profile had indicated,
- Ending communication with someone who seems too clingy or needy, and
- A general lack of chemistry or connection.
The only advice we can offer here is that if someone is so rude, self, immature, or afraid to own up to their own feelings, desires, and discomfort in the relationship, then they’re not someone worth being with anyway!
Although getting ghosted can be painful, the best course of action is to do your best to shift your mindset if you find yourself in this situation and to do your best not to ghost women.
Final thoughts on the question, “Why is dating so difficult?”
Your Next Steps
Here’s what to do next to make sure your dating and leadership skills keep improving:
Download our free ebook, “Why PUA Doesn’t Work for Introverts & What Works Instead” to build these dating skills on a foundation of confidence!
For more personalized support, consider our Launch Your Dating Life program.
Many of our clients have gone from ZERO DATES to GIRLFRIEND in a matter of weeks or months, and now can be your turn to shine!