“I don’t like bars and clubs. So where do I go to meet women?”
First off, I totally get this.
The whole matter can feel hard and confusing. Along with being the extroverted “life of the party” type, drinking seems like something you’re just “supposed to do”…
It seems to be “what everyone is doing” so how are you supposed to meet women besides bars and clubs, which is where 99% of people seem to meet each other, save for online dating and chasing people down on the street?
Are you limited to meeting women online for the rest of your life, and even then, having them be disappointed / think you’re weird when they find out you don’t drink?
NO, thank goodness. No. :)
In fact, the very reasons you don’t drink can actually bond you to like-minded people as well as lead the way to you meeting them in places that you both prefer to bars and clubs.
Also, for the record (and as you know if you’ve been around IA for any length of time!), you do not have to be the “life of the party” type guy either.
Neither extroversion nor drinking is required for meeting awesome women who are excited to know you more. Yay!
(Note: For more on the psychology and sociology of not drinking, read this post.)
For great places to meet women if you’re not a big drinker, read on. I’ve got you covered with twelve great options.
Depending on your reason for not being into alcohol, you’ve got your pick of awesome non-bar and non-club places ready and waiting for you!
And when you meet women in the very places that correspond to your choices for not drinking, then you’re setting yourself up well to meet women who you’d more likely enjoy a really good conversation with, feel more connected to, and eventually enter into a long-term relationship with.
Reason being, the basis of a healthy relationship is aligned beliefs and values, which are one layer deeper and more central to a person than mere shared common interests.
Where to meet women besides bars and clubs if you don’t drink for religious reasons:
If you’re wondering…
“Where can I meet women besides bars and clubs if I’m religious?”
I’ve got options for you!
Here are four great places to meet women besides bars and clubs, which is great because if your faith is a centerpiece in your life, you may not feel comfortable in those kinds of venues anyway.
So here are places that are close to your heart already, where you can meet women who are single and excited to meet someone who shares a similar perspective and lifestyle:
(1) Meet women at church itself
Church is one very practical way to meet women because you’re already there every week as it is! While, yes, there are a lot of families at church, not everyone is in a relationship or married, by a long shot.
If everyone wore a sign above their head that said “taken” or “available”, things would be admittedly easier! But even without that, you can still meet single women at church just by showing up, being social, and striking up a conversation.
Once you start a conversation, you can perhaps ask who she came with if it comes up naturally in conversation. At that point, she is likely to say whatever her status is, for example, “Oh I usually come with my husband, but he is out of town today,” or whatever the case may be.
(2) Church groups
You can meet women outside of the church service itself. Many churches have small groups that you can participate in.
These could range from a Bible Study at someone’s house, to a weekly meeting, to some other sort of organized group.
Some of these may even be especially for singles, which is even better! (And if not, you could perhaps start one for your own community!)
(3) Church functions
In addition to weekly services and church groups, many churches have functions, which could be volunteering opportunities or shared meals or parties and events.
You can find out what’s happening in your church on the back of the bulletin or by asking around. These are explicitly social ways to meet people in your community.
(4) Volunteering opportunities
This doesn’t have to be affiliated with any particular church, obviously! This could be non-profit or community-driven. Volunteering is a great way to meet women who share a desire to better other people’s lives.
Where to meet women besides bars and clubs if you don’t drink for health reasons:
If you take great care of your body and are wondering…
“Where can I meet women besides bars and clubs if I’m health-conscious?”
These are great options for you!
(5) Cooking classes or chef events
If health is important to you, then so is food! Eating well, nutritionally as well as deliciously ;), is a priority for you. And that makes it a great common ground for you to meet women who feel the same way!
Gourmet cooking classes or events where chefs try out new dishes in a small, communal-table-style get-together are fantastic. They’re fun, playful ways to have fun meeting people who love food as you do!
For chef events, Feastly is a great resource that is mostly in San Francisco and Los Angeles. You can google around for something similar in your own city.
(6) Yoga and meditation classes
Yoga and meditation classes are fantastic ways to meet people who are not necessarily into the bars and clubs scene. Or they might like that IN ADDITION to other things with a more spiritual and calming focus.
If you head to a yoga class or meditation class, you’re putting yourself in a place where women who are there are more on the same page with you if you’re not huge into bars and clubs.
(7) Running clubs
Running clubs, or any fitness group in your city or town, are refreshing ways to meet people who care about their fitness and overall wellness!
Meeting women here is especially great because you’re sharing in physical activity together, which is a sexy way to meet someone. ;)
(8) Health/fitness/wellbeing interest groups
Any kind of group you can find through friends or on Facebook or Google that is interested in the type of wellbeing you are will put you among like-minded people, including, more than likely, attractive single women!
It’s all of our best looks to take care of ourselves, so going to places where that’s a community value is great for looking and feeling awesome, as well as meeting people who value themselves as well.
These can include everything from sports leagues to get-together’s (or just showing up randomly) at dog parks to the farmer’s market or health section of the grocery store. There are plenty of attractive women at these places because being active and healthy makes all of us sexier.
Where to meet women besides bars and clubs if you don’t drink for preferential reasons:
Maybe you’re not religious or particularly into health and fitness, so at that point, you may be wondering…
“Where can I meet beautiful women besides bars and clubs if I simply don’t like drinking culture?”
Here are four places just for you!
(9) Meals with family and friends
Even if most of your friends are coupled off, it doesn’t mean that all of *their* friends are coupled off too!
If you get a small dinner or outing (to the park or something fun outdoors) with people you love and respect, that’s a great start to meet new people.
You can invite them to bring their other single friends, you may end up meeting someone pretty fantastic!
Besides that, it’s just plain fun to spend time with people you love. As you do, you can tell them, “Hey, is there anyone you know who I might like to go on a date with, and they with me?”
Strengthening relationships with loved ones doesn’t only feel awesome for everyone involved, it also helps you out practically.
Spending time with them makes you top of mind for other people you may get along great with, especially if you bring that up in conversation.
(10) Music venues that don’t revolve around alcohol culture
While some concerts and shows are in bars and centralize around alcohol, not all do!
There are classical music concerts like symphonies or coffee-shop indie-type live music vibes.
If you love music, or even if you just *like* music, you might be curious to try these out and meet people before or after the show!
Seeing music also provides an instant connection because you just shared (or are about to share) an experience together.
You can talk about the musician and music in general with the people who are there with you.
(11) Personal and business development events
This is a huge way to meet people! A lot of people who aren’t super into drinking *are* into developing themselves as human beings, building their social skills, and/or growing professionally or in their businesses.
Going to speaker events, parties, or workshops centered around self- and business-development will put you around awesome people, while also helping you expand your social circle at the same time.
You could even try speed dating events if you want a place where you know everyone is single!
(12) Cocktail-making classes (surprise!) ;)
Just because you don’t like bars and clubs doesn’t mean necessarily that you don’t enjoy a good glass of wine with dinner or a great cocktail every now and then!
Cocktail-making can actually become a hobby, as well as a great way to meet women besides bars and clubs, while still enjoying a drink if you like to do that.
You can keep the fun in the comfort of your own home with dinner parties you host, or that a friend hosts and you can bring the cocktails. They’re so much fun and so creative!
I added this one in here to show none of us has to be black-and-white completely; you might like cocktails without liking bars and clubs, which is the case for many people.
Conclusions about where to meet women outside of bars and clubs:
As you can see, there are so many places to meet women besides bars and clubs.
Take the category or categories above that most click with you, find an event that matches what you’d like to do, and put it in your calendar!
For conversation-starters and small talk tips, go to our comprehensive guide right here.
If you want tips on approaching women, try How To Best Approach A Woman As An Introverted Man.
As always, feel free to inquire about Launch Your Dating Life, which will help you get all set with the skills you need before, during, and after you’re meeting women at these great non-bars-and-clubs places!
Also, you can get a free copy of our ebook, Why Pickup Doesn’t Work for Introverts & What Works Instead right here. It will help you identify and internalize your best qualities for women to see and enjoy.