Tired of bars and clubs? Try these 5 awesome venues instead.
It’s time to get you meeting more single women without resorting to bars and clubs!
Reason being, when you’re meeting more women, you’ve got more potential matches in the funnel!
Here is our list of the top 5 places to meet women in-person as an introverted guy.(And you’re getting the inside scoop here because these are the EXACT same venues we give our private clients):
- Partner Dancing
- Team Sports
- Classes
- Volunteering
- Parties
Why is each of these such an awesome venue to expand your dating pool? Let’s go through each one by one.
Option 1: Partner Dancing
Partner Dancing is one of the best places to meet single women because…
You’re already in an embrace with them. (!) You’re already holding them… that is the framework of the dance!
Also, the entire event is structured. Women expect you to ask them to dance, and they expect you to hold them.
This comes as a relief when you’re wanting to develop chemistry with women in a non-creepy way. Then after the dance, it is such a shorter distance to flirting and getting her number than it is at any other venue.
Specific Types of Partner Dancing:
There are so many kinds! Salsa, bachata, kizomba, blues dancing, swing dancing, tango, ballroom are all great options. Check out what’s in your city or town.
And remember, when you’re a more reserved, introverted guy, it is especially important to meet people in places that help facilitate connection, offer a structure for your interactions, and help you feel closer to someone before you even say anything.
Even if you never expected it, you may love it.
Partner dancing can become a great venue for you to become more comfortable being close to the opposite sex.
For example, one of our past clients drove by a ballroom dancing place every evening on his way home from work.
Even though he wanted to try it, he never took the plunge… for weeks that turned into months that turned into over a year.
He felt guilty for not pursuing it, but he just couldn’t seem to muster up the courage until our work together.
Finally, he set up a lesson! He LOVED it. The teacher was very warm and supportive, and the people he ended up dancing with socially were wonderful as well.
Ballroom dancing became such a big, important part of his life!
He even participated in competitions.
It didn’t hurt anything that even before he was very good at it, women he danced with before were now asking him to dance.
Picking up partner dancing was a TOTAL game-changer for him, and he ended up meeting his now-girlfriend a few months after he took it up. (!)
Find your ideal partner dancing venue in five easy steps:
- Consider the type of partner dancing you’re most intrigued by. Anything you’ve been wanting to try?
- Google “[your chosen partner dancing venue] [your city];” for example, “Salsa Dancing San Francisco.”
- Note the options Google pulls up for you, and check out reviews of the results on the first page or two.
- Set a date in the calendar to go to a class or private lesson, or if you’re already pretty experienced, just go straight to the social dance. Many venues have classes first and then social dances shortly after.
- Show up and enjoy the your adventurous self!
Option 2: Team Sports
Team Sports are #2 because they are physical, like dancing.
You’re not being physical together in the closed embrace of dance. But you are being physical side-by-side or collaboratively on a team, which is still attractive.
Also, you’re likely to meet more fit, active, happy women at dancing or sports.
Specific Types of Team Sports:
There are lots of kinds: flag football, beach volleyball, running group, hiking, city tours, yoga, pilates, etc.
Team sports and group activities are excellent, especially if you can relate to this fellow Introverted Alpha reader:
“Perhaps the biggest problem is meeting new and different people that have the same interests and values as me… and that I’d like to date.”
Bonding over a physical activity sparks chemistry.
It helps you get more dates with women who share your passions and interests.
Any hobbies will work for this honestly, and ones that are more active like running groups, yoga classes, and flag football add a visceral physical excitement.
Consider this: In a study by Kristin McKinney, adrenaline was found to have an effect on arousal and attraction.
In one aspect of the study, some men were to meet women on an adrenaline-spiking suspension bridge. Others were to meet women in a calmer setting.
The adrenaline rush from being on the suspension bridge literally caused the men to feel more attracted to the women they met there.
Eye contact becomes more electric, and communication through body language feels more immediate, intuitive, and exciting.
McKinney wrote,
“Results indicated a significant positive correlation between adrenaline and attraction, which means as the level of adrenaline increased, so did the level of attraction.”
So when you meet women you’re being physically active with, sparks fly more easily than if you were doing something more passive.
Option 3: Classes
Classes are awesome because you’re learning something new. This makes you feel adventurous and puts you alongside other adventurous people who love to learn!
The learning environment is a great place to meet intelligent women because men and women who are already smart love adding to their knowledge with new things.
For a lot of Introverted Alpha guys, learning is an important value for them. So that makes classes an even better place to meet like-minded folks.
It also gives you great conversation fodder because you’re sharing an activity together. Whether it’s your first time or whether you’re experienced in that subject matter, there’s always something to strike up small talk over.
Specific Types of Classes: cooking classes, cocktail-making, French classes, dance classes, etc
Option 4: Volunteering
Volunteering is great if you have a big heart and want to meet compassionate women.
It’s a way to get together and collaborate on something for the wider good. This makes you feel closer like you’re “together in this” for a purpose beyond yourselves.
Meeting people this way is fulfilling, whether they’re attractive single women or not! You can go with a friend or on your own, as a lot of folks make friends in places that are values-centric, like non-profits, churches, and volunteer organizations.
For people who are purpose-driven and compassionate, that is a strong bond to have right out of the gate.
Specific Types of Volunteering: building/repairing homes, helping kids, caring for animals, spending time with the elderly, feeding the homeless, and more.
Option 5: Parties
Parties are always a great place to meet women if you like getting dressed up and meeting new people in an environment where everyone expects to be social and mingle with new folks.
A lot of Introverted Alpha clients take pride in their style. Many have recently hired a stylist or have simply taken a closer look at their wardrobe and updating it. You can discover much more about this here.
So being out at a party helps you feel confident and put-together as you talk to women who are gorgeous and stylish themselves. Also, if the party is centered around a theme, that gives you something to talk about right off the bat.
Specific Types of Parties: singles mixers, cocktail parties, charity galas, industry events
Bonus Venue for 6 Cities: If you live in New York, Boston, Washington D.C., Chicago, Los Angeles, or San Francisco; check out IVY, the “Social University” that doubles as a great way to meet women. They organize events for you with a combination of all of the above types (everything from team sports to volunteering to speaker talks to galas). Learn more about IVY, and check out their site as well.
How to meet women in the most natural way
All of the above venues, I’ve hand-selected for you as an introverted man. They are structured, fun, and typically align with the thoughtful guy’s values and interests.
Sure, you can meet women at coffee shops, the grocery store, and out and about. But it’s not as easy to start with that because of the lack of structure.
You’ve got a much better chance at feeling social and at ease approaching a woman when you go to one of the venues listed above, or to one of the alternatives to bars and clubs listed here.
What to do next
Which of these venues excites you most?
Hop onto Google and search for “X Venue + Your City,” open a bunch of tabs, explore, and calendar a few events to try.
For example, if you’re dating in New York City and you’re curious about salsa dancing (there is such great salsa in New York!), you can google, “Salsa Dancing New York City” and get a big list of lessons and social dancing venues.
It takes 13 seconds to type it into Google and peruse a few results.
Decide what place is most appealing to you, and give it a whirl. Even if you just go once, you’ll learn a lot about yourself, what you like, and the venue you’re testing out.
Other resources
The best dating advice I can give you is to understand yourself more deeply, why and how you are uniquely attractive, and build from there. That’s what you’ll find in our ebook.
And when you’re ready to take things further, you can check out our dating coaching program, which helps you launch a fulfilling love life by going beyond dating tips and delivering you 1:1 specific feedback and coaching.
