How to start putting yourself out there
Have you ever wanted to put yourself out there and then changed your mind because you didn’t feel confident?
If so, you are not alone. Many introverted men have shared that same experience, and we’re about to provide detailed suggestions to help you!
Today we’re going to walk through 5 surefire tips for introverted men who are asking, “How do I put myself out there?” By the end of this post, you will know how to put yourself out there with confidence!
Why is this so important in the first place?
Confidently putting yourself out there helps your true personality and strengths shine through! Self-knowledge helps so much with that.
Now, let’s discover the 5 surefire ways you can put yourself out there:
1. Evaluate your perspective.
When you’re considering putting yourself out there, you may feel uncomfortable, hesitant, or nervous. All of those feelings are totally normal.
Any kind of growth or progress can feel unfamiliar and intimidating at first!
That’s why it’s important to keep in mind that you can feel a bit uncomfortable as you grow in your ability to put yourself out there WHILE maintaining a grounded sense of comfort within yourself.
Trying new things is naturally uncomfortable, and that process doesn’t have to shake who you are inside. In fact, it can even enhance your sense of self, as you grow in new areas!
Remembering this helps you from feeling like you are putting on a forced performance. Rather, you can…
- Feel the discomfort of unfamiliar territory,
- Put yourself out there in a new way, AND
- Stay true to yourself the whole time.
Now that you have a great start, let’s explore the next step.
2. Answer these 4 questions.
Before putting yourself out there, it’s essential to remember the goal of your efforts. You aren’t asking, “How do I put myself out there?” just because you feel bored. No way!
You’re willing to learn how to put yourself out there because you know it may put you in the path of an attractive, well-matched woman with whom you could build a lasting connection.
Consider these questions to help you determine how you can attract the right women for you:
- Who do you want to connect with?
- What kinds of qualities or interests does she have?
- How will you put yourself out there in a way that intrigues her?
- What kinds of venues might she visit, and when?
As you answer these questions, you’ll narrow down the best settings and contexts for putting yourself out there in ways that help you reach your goal of connecting confidently with quality women.
That way you don’t waste your limited social energy putting yourself out there in settings that are unlikely to help you reach your goal.
That being said, it’s okay to practice purposefully in places you know you won’t reach your ultimate goal, simply for a low-stakes practicing opportunity!
Still not sure where to start? Check out these 11 places you can put yourself out there and connect with women.
Now that you’re prepared to think through the context, let’s uncover more specifics.
3. Put yourself out there through your appearance.
If you’re wondering, “How do I put myself out there in a chill, natural way that others sense early on?” then we’ve got some great news.
Putting yourself out there doesn’t require a grandiose, public gesture. (This is wonderful news for introverts who wouldn’t be comfortable with that, anyway!)
Rather, putting yourself out there comes down to considering the impression you already make.
The way you dress can play a huge part in that, and your personal sense of style can blossom in a way that feels natural to you. If you aren’t sure where to start, read this article about dressing to impress without losing who you are.
This article will help you understand…
- Why clothes matter,
- The small changes that stack up,
- How to pick the right fit, and
- Expressing yourself through your style.
Next, let’s look at how a small “yes” can help you put yourself out there!
4. Say “yes” to new experiences.
Again, putting yourself out there doesn’t require you to put on a show or be someone you’re not.
Simply saying “yes” to opportunities or activities you may have said “no” to before can be a wonderful on-ramp to new adventures and the courage you’ll gain as a result!
One of the easiest ways to put yourself out there is to say “yes” to invitations from family members or friends.
These may come as official invitations to weddings or birthday parties, or you may get an informal invitation like a, “Let’s go snowboarding this weekend!” text.
The great news is that you don’t have to wait for an invitation. You could plan a game night where everyone brings a friend, or you could take up a new hobby you’ve been curious about.
Every small “yes” can help you ease into putting yourself out there.
Finally, let’s uncover how you can put yourself out there by how you communicate!
5. Put yourself out there through great communication.
If you want to connect with great women, there’s a fun acronym to remember that will help you naturally lead to a conversation.
Ready to become her superhero? Don’t forget your C.A.P.E.!
Let’s take each part of C.A.P.E. one by one:
Charisma: the magnetic force that draws people to each other.
Developing charisma as an introverted man can be the best adventure you never saw coming.
It not only makes you enjoyable to be around; it will also help you enjoy yourself!
Check out these 3 simple ways to increase your charisma.
Authenticity: the way to be yourself confidently.
No matter what, communicate authentically. The best, healthiest, and most enduring connections thrive when they’re built on the truth.
The great thing is that when you communicate authentically, you create a safe space for her to do the same!
That way, instead of seeing a false projection of who you think she wants you to be, you can let her see the real you. And vice versa! This is the best way to get a glimpse of the real her, too.
Playfulness: the fun part of putting yourself out there.
Not sure how to initiate or sustain a playful connection? We’ve got you covered!
Happily, this is a skill to be learned, not an innate ability. Read these 7 quick tips for playful and witty conversation as an introvert.
Empathy: the foundation for a positive connection.
According to Dictionary.com, empathy is “the ability or practice of imagining or trying to deeply understand what someone else is feeling or what it’s like to be in their situation.”
In other words, it comes down to feeling what someone else feels as if you are experiencing it yourself. Since many people go through their days without the warm understanding of empathetic friends or family members, simply communicating with empathy will help you stand out.
The best, most natural way to show empathy is by taking a genuine interest in people by asking them questions. When they answer, you can ask them how they feel or respond with encouragement.
This extends beyond conversations with women you’re attracted to. Women are very observant, and you never know who you’ll attract by speaking kindly to your mom on the phone or comforting a friend as he’s going through a hard time.
If you can help a woman feel the warm, benevolent glow of your empathy while she’s around you, it will make putting yourself out there that much more fulfilling!
Final Thoughts: “How do I put myself out there?”
Let’s review what we went over today:
- Developing a positive mindset around putting yourself out there,
- Answering 4 questions to reveal the ideal setting and context,
- Letting your appearance communicate about you,
- Saying yes to new experiences, and
- Communicating in ways that will draw people in.
Ready for more?
Download our free ebook, “Why PUA Doesn’t Work for Introverts & What Works Instead” to build the skills you need to put yourself out there on a foundation of confidence!
For more personalized support, consider our powerful Magnetic Confidence program.
Become your most magnetic self through this self-paced self-study program, so you can put yourself out there with much more ease and success!
If you want to become attractive to quality women and replace “nice guy” patterns with genuine strength, this program will help you…
- Find your introverted edge,
- Overcome people-pleasing, and
- Be magnetic.
Enroll here, and get started today!