How to be playful and witty on dates
If you’ve ever thought that improving your playful and witty conversation skills would help your dates go well, you’re absolutely right!
When it comes to developing playful and witty banter, many introverted men aren’t sure where to start. If that sounds familiar, this post was made with lots of love for introverted men just like you!
Today, we’ll first establish the optimal mindset toward improving playful and witty conversation skills.
After that, we’ll share our list of 7 handy how-to’s that will help you become a playful and witty conversationalist!
By the end of this post, you’ll know exactly what to do to improve your conversation skills and start connecting better with women.
Why is this so important in the first place?
According to dictionary.com, the word “playful” means “pleasantly humorous,” and “witty” means “amusingly clever in perception and expression.”
How fun! No wonder we want to build more playful and witty conversations.
Even more interesting is the origin of the word “conversation.”
Did you know that “conversation” comes from Middle English conversen, which came from Middle French converser. Before that, converser came from the Latin word conversārī, meaning “to associate with.”
That’s where we reach the crux of how crucial conversation skills are.
The goal of a conversation is to establish familiarity by associating with someone else. In short, the purpose of conversation is connection.
Now, let’s circle back to the aspects of playful and witty conversation!
The whole point of developing your playfulness and wit as you talk to women is to connect in a pleasant, meaningful way. Once you do that, it becomes extremely enjoyable to connect well with women!
Now, let’s dive in!
Optimal Mindset on Developing Your Playful and Witty Conversational Skills
Many introverted men hold themselves to high standards. That’s what makes you excel in so many areas of your life! This is just as true when it comes to playful and witty conversation skills.
Happily, conversation skills are just that: skills.
That means they can be learned, developed, and improved with time and practice.
Everyone comes into the world the same way: naked, crying, and… yep… without conversation skills. Over time, we learn language patterns to connect with those around us.
You may have even taken a foreign language course at one point to learn how to connect in a different country or culture.
If playful and witty conversation feels foreign to you, you certainly aren’t alone.
The great news is that you don’t have to learn an entirely foreign language to master the art of playful and witty conversation. Conversation skills are simply a subset of language, so with a bit of intentional practice, you’ll start noticing the difference those skills make!
7 Quick Tips for Playful and Witty Conversations
Now that you know why playfulness and wit will help you connect more deeply during your conversations, it’s time to talk about how!
1. Approach this journey with a growth mindset.
Learning any new skill will require consistent practice and patience with yourself. Since conversation skills can feel so personal, remember to monitor your inner dialogue and stay positive!
2. Start small and keep your comments brief.
It can be discouraging to tell a long, funny story, only to find out a few minutes later that it didn’t land as well as you’d hoped. That’s why it’s a great idea to start small! Tell a little story or simply comment on what others have said, to get your bearings.
One way you can add comments to create a playful and witty conversation is to remark on the obvious by pointing out something funny. You’ll find that this can ease some social tension, like if you smile and say, “This elevator runs so quietly!” on a first-to-fourth-floor ride with people you don’t know.
Another way you can start small with witty banter is by incorporating some irony. You can do that by describing the situation with purposeful inaccuracy. For example, if the weather is particularly rainy, you could playfully tease, “Well, there’s not a cloud in the sky today!” It’s all about your tone and genuinely relaxed playfulness, for this to be delightful to you and others.
3. Maintain a relaxed, laid-back tone.
When it comes to playful and witty conversation skills for introverts, one of the most underestimated aspects is body language. If you seem nervous or insecure, the content of your comment won’t match what your body language is communicating!
To solve this, you can relax by taking a breath, unclenching your jaw, and relaxing your shoulders. When you take a moment to unwind your body language before making your playful or witty comment, your delivery will more easily contain the intended spark!
You can also experiment with self-deprecating humor about things that aren’t too personal to you. It’s good to be able to laugh at yourself! Plus, that way you don’t run the risk of offending someone else. Remember to keep it light by joking about a skill or sport you aren’t great at instead of a personality trait or something deeper-down in you.
When you keep your jokes lighthearted and avoid joking at someone else’s expense (whether they’re physically present or not), you get to beautifully maintain your integrity, kindness, and strong rapport!
4. Make a mental note when you find something funny.
Inspiration is everywhere: movies, billboards, grandmas, specific situations, funny stories, the blunders of toddlers… the list is truly endless! You just have to pay attention to what is already fun around you, which is a joy in itself!
If you find something funny, enjoyable, or interesting; others likely will too. You don’t have to know exactly how to reproduce those moments yet, and nobody expects you to. Simply practice noticing for now.
By attending to more things you come across day-to-day that make you smile, chuckle, or scratch your head, you’ll start seeing inspiration everywhere!
After you’ve mentally cataloged a few things that you can reflect and learn from, it’s time to start working those little inspirations into brief anecdotes!
Telling your story in a pleasant way with laughter and light-hearted banter helps you keep it simple and bring (yourself and!) others joy.
5. Spend time with people who make you laugh.
Like we talked about earlier, you learned your native language by listening to and interacting with people who already knew it.
Language patterns work like osmosis! That’s how we end up with colloquialisms, slang, and even acronyms.
The same conversation rules apply in this situation. The more time you spend around people who engage in playful and witty conversation, the more you’ll naturally acquire some of their skills.
6. Get started now, or take some time to read more deeply on this topic.
If you feel ready to incorporate these tips, go ahead and get started! Here are a few great places to dive deeper:
- How To Be More Playful And Fun: an article with 4 strategies and why they work
- Conversation Topics + Tips: a comprehensive guide for introverted men
- The Art of Witty Banter: Be Clever, Be Quick, Be Interesting: a book about how you can create captivating conversation
7. Practice regularly and be patient with yourself.
Skill-building requires a consistent process of trial and error, and that requires grace and a sense of humor that gets richer over time. It’s vulnerable to skill-build, especially with something social!
Everyone who’s ever told a joke or made a witty comment has noticed that some of them didn’t land perfectly.
Sometimes, that has nothing to do with the comment itself. Listener preferences, setting, and atmosphere also play a role in how well playful comments work out. (Remember that, to give extra grace to yourself!)
Instead of taking it personally if your comment falls flat, you can take it as a learning opportunity!
You aren’t going to turn into an overnight conversational rockstar. It will take some time to mellow into your own style. Anyone who’s been down this path before you will affirm that this developmental process takes time, and it’s worth the journey and fun along the way!
Now that you have 7 handy tips in your toolbelt for playful and witty conversations, it’s time to review what we’ve learned today!
Conclusion on how playful and witty conversation can benefit your dating life
Today, we covered…
- Official definitions of “playful,” “witty,” and “conversation,”
- Powerful reasons why conversation is the foundation of connection,
- Optimal mindset toward becoming a playful and witty conversationalist, and
- 7 practical steps to developing your conversation skills.
In order to make sure your ability to connect with women through playful and witty conversation is genuinely “you”, download our free ebook, “Why PUA Doesn’t Work for Introverts & What Works Instead.”
For more personalized support, check out our Become a Benevolent Badass program!
This in-depth 1:1 coaching program will support you in finding your true north, bringing out your best around others, and becoming an intentional social leader.
To feel confident and authentic while connecting with others effectively, become a Benevolent Badass today!