Alpha Male Personality: Is Introverted the New Alpha?

Can introverts be alphas?

Because of the way many alphas are portrayed in the media, it can sometimes seem like the alpha male personality is a category that excludes introverts. Happily, the opposite is true!

Have you ever felt like the world was built for extroverts?

It can certainly feel that way between the crowded parties, loud restaurants, and corporate happy hours. When so much of the dating advice on the internet is geared toward extroverts, it’s normal to feel a little confused as an introverted man!

If you’re an introverted man wanting to understand yourself better, have more success dating, and develop your natural strengths, you’re exactly where you need to be.

Today, we’re going to…

  • Redefine the terms “introverted” and “alpha,”
  • Explore the characteristics of Introverted Alphas,
  • Discuss why quiet confidence is so attractive, and
  • Help you bring out your introverted alpha male personality!

By the end of this post, you’ll know why introverts are the new alpha male personality and how to shine as an Introverted Alpha.


Don’t miss this free resource for introverts with an alpha male personality

If you’re tired of the ineffective “fake it till you make it” advice, you’ll love this resource.

Take a moment to download this free ebook, “Why PUA Doesn’t Work for Introverts & What Works Instead.”

It contains an enlightening exercise that will reveal what is attractive about you as an introverted man. You can get your copy right here!

Now, let’s dive in and find out what it means to be both an introvert and an alpha!


First, let’s redefine what “introverted” and “alpha” mean.

Before we go any further, it’s important to make sure we’re working with the same definitions!


Let’s start with redefining “introvert.”

Introverts tend to be deep and thoughtful. They are rejuvenated by peace and quiet. These primary traits make an introverted man especially attractive: he is easy to be around, genuine, and mysterious.

Many people think that being introverted implies social awkwardness. That cannot be further from the truth! A socially awkward person can be shy or loud and bumbling.

Everyone can grow past social awkwardness into social fluency. Social fluency is a skill, not a personality trait. Happily, skills can be learned with the right tools and resources!

When social fluency is cultivated, a developed introvert…

  • Feels very comfortable in his own skin,
  • Puts himself in situations and places that are favorable and enjoyable,
  • Takes wonderful care of himself, and
  • Appreciates his quieter nature.


Wondering if you’re an introvert?

Introversion and extroversion are more like ends of a spectrum than absolutes, and neither one is better than the other. An introvert simply has different defining qualities than an extrovert.

Naturally introverted characteristics include…

  • Thinking before speaking,
  • Wanting to understand all sides of something before acting,
  • Applying thoughtful introspection to oneself,
  • Seeing life and other people in a gentle, sensitive way, and
  • Experiencing the subtleties and details of life quite acutely.

Characteristics of introverts are beautiful, as are the traits of extroverts. We’re all different, and those unique qualities all add richness to the world when we each enjoy being ourselves!


Next, let’s redefine what it means to be an “alpha.”

A true alpha male has a strong sense of himself and takes pleasure in excellence. These traits distinguish real alphas, who are known for being…

  • Comfortable in their own skin,
  • Rooted in quiet confidence, and
  • Intentional in adding value as a way of life.

Many people assume that all alphas are domineering. This is absolutely not true!

A pseudo-alpha seeks external validation, makes self-centered comments, and wants it to be “all about him.” A true alpha male, on the other hand, doesn’t require constant validation or attention.

A genuine alpha male knows, respects, and cares about himself and others genuinely. With an air of quiet confidence, men and women alike enjoy being around him because they find his presence uplifting.


Want to know if you have the alpha male personality?

This is a popular question. The mentality of someone with a confident alpha male personality is not, “I’ll step on you to get what I want.” Rather, the true definition of a strong alpha male today is this:

“I know who I am and what I want, and everything I do is well-considered for the benefit of all. I’m learning and growing every day as my own man. Honoring myself and others is extremely important to me.”

It isn’t about fabricating an alpha male personality, because there is no singular alpha personality type or definition.

For example, think of the alphas in your own life. Who has a solid sense of who they are and what they are proactively building in their lives? Who expresses their deepest values through their careers, family relationships, and lifestyle?

We’re guessing they all operate a bit differently. That’s because every alpha male is uniquely himself!

So now, what do you think? Are you an alpha male? If your honest answer is, “I don’t think so, but I want to be,” then start by becoming devoted to finding out who you are. (That’s why our free ebook is so important!)

From there, as you build a life you’re proud of (one that contributes both to yourself and adds value to others), you can experience the confidence of the alpha male personality in a genuine and lasting way.

Now that you know what we mean by “introverted” and “alpha,” it’s time to combine those definitions and learn about the traits that characterize Introverted Alphas!


Next, let’s explore the characteristics of Introverted Alphas.

Some people think “Introverted Alpha” is an oxymoron. They wonder, “Can alpha males be introverted? Can introverts be alpha males? Do women like quiet men?”

The answer across the board is a resounding yes!

An Introverted Alpha Male is simply an introverted man who has a sense of quiet confidence about him. (Yes, you can be quiet and confident… and that combination is extremely attractive to women!)

Taken together, Introverted + Alpha = Benevolent Badass.

According to, benevolent means “characterized by or expressing goodwill or kindly feelings.” It comes from the Latin words bene (meaning “good”) and voleo (meaning “power”)… so it means using your power for good.

This implies that you have power to use in the first place! Even if you don’t always feel like it, you do have that power. It’s inside of you, and together we can draw it out.

Badass simply means knowing what you want and going after it with single-minded focus in a way that benefits you and others around you.

Put these together, and you become unstoppable and irresistible.

As an introverted man, you may not use words like “powerful” and “badass” to describe yourself. You know you’re a good man, yes, but powerful?

If that sounds familiar, you’ll want to check out our program called Become a Benevolent Badass.

Over the years, many men have signed up with very little hope… only to walk away after this program with tremendous fortitude and courage in all relationships and life direction.

An Introverted Alpha Male is genuinely strong and naturally attractive. Women love him because he loves himself and others well.

Now that you know why being an introvert with an alpha male personality makes you a Benevolent Badass, read on to discover why that’s so magnetic to women!


Now, it’s time to discuss why quiet confidence is so attractive.

Confident, introverted men bring a special sense of thoughtfulness and assuredness that other people don’t possess in the same powerful way.


So why do women find introverted men attractive?

First, let’s differentiate between shyness and introversion. While shyness is bashfulness in a situation (which both introverts and extroverts experience), introversion, on the other hand, is a disposition. It’s a way of seeing the world and operating within it.

If you’re looking to overcome the discomfort of shyness by developing yourself and expanding your comfort zone, start here!

A man with a strong, unapologetic sense of himself is refreshing to a woman who is mature and healthy herself. Women love alpha males because it’s with that kind of a man that they can build something.

A strong direction in life creates a great foundation for a potential relationship.

When a mature woman connects with an Introverted Alpha, it creates tangible excitement around the idea of what that relationship could look like and what the two of you could accomplish together.

That’s why alpha males are so attractive and why women get excited when a man with quiet confidence flirts with them and shows interest.

Men who are committed to their own innate values (and to expressing those in a way that benefits everyone in their circle of influence) are irresistible to self-respecting, warm, and loving women.


Still don’t believe us? Here are 5 reasons why:

1. You leave something for the imagination.

Introverted men tend to have an air of mystery about them, and women find that so attractive! Your mysterious side makes women want to know you more, and the process of digging deeper to learn about your unique personality is intriguing.

2. You have a unique perspective.

Since you have the ability to be introspective, you take the time to analyze and form your own thoughts and opinions. This is so refreshing to people who spend time with you!

3. Your sensitive nature makes you an amazing friend and partner.

You are naturally attuned to figuring out how things can be improved, and this goes for yourself as well! You are intentional about how you can grow as a person, and this does wonders when you are in a relationship because it helps your partner feel seen, heard, and understood.

4. You challenge people intellectually.

Since you tend to spend more time being introspective, you have a unique type of intelligence that others are drawn to. You’re able to hold intellectually-stimulating conversations, and you bring up different viewpoints for others to consider.

5. You consider the thoughts and feelings of others.

As an introverted man, you take the time to consider what you want to say before you actually do so. This is beautiful because it allows you to articulate your thoughts and feelings while considering how others may feel.

Discover more of why introverted men are attractive.


Finally, let’s help you shine as an Introverted Alpha.

How do you bring out your Introverted Alpha Male? You do it by keeping these 5 Introverted Alpha Principles in mind:

  • Social fluency is a skill, not a personality. “Introverted” does NOT equal “socially awkward.”
  • Each introverted man has a unique vibe all his own. When he discovers it in himself, women notice. (Our ebook helps here!)
  • A true alpha male has a strong sense of himself. He is honest with himself and is devoted to the win-win.
  • Dating is a skill to build, not an innate talent. You can build that skill with the right guidance.
  • Dating for introverted men is best done genuinely. Warm, intelligent women gravitate to genuine men.

It’s also important to remember that being an Introverted Alpha means you carry a lot of influence and therefore a lot of responsibility.

When it comes to dating, it’s understandable that it can feel complicated to navigate all of the variables well, especially since emotions are involved. Remember to ask yourself this question as a litmus test if you feel overwhelmed:

“How can I add as much love and value as possible to this situation?”

For more in-depth tips to shine as an Introverted Alpha as you meet women and go on dates, check out this article.


Final thoughts on the alpha male personality.

Man at Work on Computer and Phone - Alpha Male PersonalityNow that you know what it looks like to be an introvert with an alpha male personality, you’ll be able to embrace your authentic self while pursuing personal growth!

To review, we went over the…

  • Meaning of “introvert” and “alpha,”
  • Characteristics of introverted alphas,
  • Magnetic pull of quiet confidence, and
  • Best way to let your introverted alpha male personality shine!

Before you go, don’t forget to download our free ebook, “Why PUA Doesn’t Work for Introverts & What Works Instead.” If you want to learn more about yourself and what makes you attractive, grab your copy here.

If you’re ready to develop the Introverted Alpha energy you possess, consider letting us help you through our program, Become a Benevolent Badass.

This program features 12 modules of in-depth content that lead you through three major phases: inner discovery, connection, and social leadership.

With 12 weeks of personalized, one-on-one coaching calls, you’ll cultivate your innate, Introverted Alpha energy into that of an admirable, confident Benevolent Badass for years to come!

To learn more about how this can work for you, apply here so we can make sure this will be the best fit for you.

Picture of Micayla from IA
Micayla from IA
Micayla is resident writer here at Introverted Alpha, which is known as the premier dating coaching company for introverted men; featured by Forbes, Business Insider, Cosmo, and more. Pick up your free copy of our 22-page ebook inside the blue box just below.

Attracting An Amazing Girlfriend Starts with Finding Your Own Vibe.

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In this powerful free 22-page ebook, “Why PUA Doesn’t Work for Introverts And What Works Instead,” you will uncover… 

–> 3-step exercise to find what makes you uniquely attractive

–> Why the “pickup artist” approach will never work for introverts and what works instead

–> How to attract women naturally being your best self

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Attracting An Amazing Girlfriend Starts With Finding Your Own Vibe.

In this powerful free 22-page ebook, "Why PUA Doesn't Work for Introverts And What Works Instead," you will uncover...


--> A 3-step exercise to find what makes you uniquely attractive
--> Why the “pickup artist” approach will never work for introverts and what works instead

--> How to attract women naturally being your best self

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