What is the best dating advice for introverted men?
As an introvert, does it ever feel like the world was made for extroverts?
Bars, crowded parties, corporate happy hours…
How is someone supposed to make sense of all of that when he just wants to be curled up on the couch with a great book and the woman he loves?
You want to know the best ways to attract a woman so you can meet her, fall in love, and be done with the whole dating scene, right?
So many guys just like you find themselves searching the internet for the best dating advice for introverted men, only to be disappointed when you can’t find anything besides the regular “fake it til you make it!” advice.
Fortunately, we’ve got you covered!! We’ve curated the most effective pieces of dating advice for introverted men, so you can jump right to what works for you and feel good doing it.
- using your natural introverted characteristics as strengths toward finding a deep connection,
- attracting the right partner for you by developing yourself as a person, and
- recognizing why it’s okay to walk away if a situation isn’t good for you
… among plenty of other valuable dating tips for introverted men!
But first, let’s see why you’re probably online searching for “introverted guys advice” in the first place!
Introverts and extroverts date totally differently.
And that’s okay. :)
When so much of the online dating advice on the internet seems to be geared toward extroverts, as an introverted man, you might feel lost at sea in all that!
When someone tells you to just walk up to a pretty woman in the club and start dancing with her, you’re likely thinking to yourself…
“No thank you!”
That’s why finding the dating strategies that work best for your introverted personality type allows you to shine and bring out more of your best qualities! This, in turn, makes your introvert dating life not only successful but enjoyable.
Now, let’s get started with the best dating advice for introverted men all in one handy list!
1. You don’t have to have endless social connections!
Almost every human is a social creature at heart. But how we relate to others can be completely different!
While many people like to have lots of connections, including shallow or surface-level ones, several people prefer to connect with fewer people, only ones they can connect deeply with over time.
Both preferences are great!
There is no pressure to be one way or another because what is charming is GENUINENESS… enjoying connecting with people how you like to best!
2. Embrace your introverted depth.
Introverts often find themselves toward the “less is more” side of the “social interactions” continuum.
Instead of broad, surface connections, they gravitate toward depth with just a few close people.
This means that almost everyone an introvert welcomes into their inner circle will be a valued member of that circle for a long time to come.
This depth is especially wonderful if you can learn to use your natural tendency to venture deeper to your advantage.
3. Build intimacy.
What’s one thing that healthy relationships need in order to thrive?
Introverts have this in excess!
We already know that you go for depth and meaning naturally. Tap into that side of yourself and know that it’s an absolute benefit to a relationship with the right woman who also shares that desire for depth.
So, how do you develop this intimacy with someone?
First, you have to get to know yourself.
A great way I like to remember this first step is taking apart the word Intimacy:
Intimacy = Into me I see ;)
To become intimate with another, you first must become intimate with yourself.
4. Figure out your strengths and values.
In order to someday judge whether a potential partner’s values line up with yours, develop an appreciation of what’s important to you.
This will obviously be individual to you, but you can start here:
- What do you lie awake at night dreaming about?
- Where do you want to be in five years, and what would you like to be doing?
- What are you really, really good at?
- What would your friends say is the best thing about you?
- Which activity makes time fly by because you’re so absorbed in it?
Go more toward those things, and watch your sense of self flourish!
5. Prioritize and focus your search.
Once you establish your values and strengths, you have a list of essential criteria to match as you look for a date.
This is great because now you’ll recognize a compatible partner when she comes along!
6. Figure out who your ideal partner would want to date.
Just like you, your future wife could be out there thinking of the personality traits she wants in her ideal partner as well.
As a fun thought exercise, try to imagine her list:
- Would she want a loving, gentle, caring partner?
- Might she prefer a man who provides incredible intelligence and persistence?
- Would she enjoy dating a guy who stays fit, healthy, and active, to do fun things together and share a long and healthy life?
7. Embrace the time you have for personal growth before you meet your special someone.
Some people get super lucky, meet their life partner early in their twenties, and live happily ever after.
For the rest of us, dating might take some time!
The good part about having a long season to figure yourself out is that you have time to figure yourself out.
While that might seem like a drag as you’re single and searching, it actually winds up being a big advantage when you use that time well.
So, what can you do in the meantime, while you’re actively dating and hoping that you’ll find the woman you click with?
8. Become the person your ideal partner would want to date!
Sometimes, we get so focused on finding the right person for us that we forget our part of being the right person for our potential partner.
Personal growth is a massively effective way to improve your dating life… Perhaps beyond anything else that is within your control.
If, say, you knew you were destined to meet your soulmate in five years, that would seem so far away!
That time will pass anyway, whether you’re sitting on the couch or working tirelessly toward a goal. So you might as well use it to become the best partner and human you can be!
That way, when the fated day comes, your lovely lady will be swept off her feet by the capable and well-rounded gentleman you’ve become.
9. Challenge your comfort zone.
As an introvert, you might think of yourself as a pretty shy guy.
So many men have this fantasy that some outgoing, beautiful woman will walk up to them and get the ball rolling without them having to step out of their comfort zones.
Unfortunately, that doesn’t happen very often… and if you’re waiting for that, you could be waiting a while!
Many men searching for effective dating advice are secretly hoping for a quick and simple trick that will make women flock to them with little to no social discomfort on their part. Sorry to disappoint, but…
To step into the world of dating, you’ll need to step out of your comfort zone bubble in social settings. There’s really no way around it.
Perhaps this is a perfect opportunity to work on that personal growth we were just talking about. ;)
10. Embrace this as an opportunity to step up and be awesome.
Everyone faces times where they have to be uncomfortable in order to become a more well-rounded person.
Maybe this is that time for you.
The good part is, once you slowly start to branch out socially, it will get easier and easier with practice.
The next few points will give you some good tips to get started!
11. Approach women.
Whether bonding over the drink selections at a happy hour or the delicious-looking strawberries in y’all’s grocery carts, you can absolutely start a conversation in a seamless and natural way.
(Yes, it really can be that simple!)
If that sounds a bit overwhelming and you’d like some guidance on how to make that interaction go smoothly, check out this post on “Conversation Starters for Talking to an Attractive Woman.”
12. Talk to the women you approach!
It’s okay, though!
Striking up a conversation opens the door to know each other more.
In fact, as you continue talking with her, you may even find that she’s free right now, and you’ll suggest a change of scenery as you continue your fun conversation.
You’ll never know unless you take the chance and talk to her.
Check out “What do you say to an attractive woman after ‘Hello’?” for some ideas on exactly how to make small talk with a woman.
13. Learn the art of flirting.
Flirting is all about sending and reading signals without having to overtly state your intentions.
As an introvert, you probably feel yourself lamenting how much simpler the world would be if everyone just said exactly what they meant.
Here’s the thing, though… People do say exactly what they mean, if you know how to interpret the language they’re using.
Just like anything else, flirting is a skill you can practice and learn.
“How to Flirt When You’re an Introverted Man” can help you tap into your depth and attract women who will love that characteristic in you.
14. Know your self-worth.
Similarly to the above point on figuring out what kind of partner you’d like to be, this point is about figuring out what makes you a great partner right now.
Knowing why you’re desirable and worthwhile not only helps you attract women, it also helps you maintain a healthy relationship once you find one.
So, make a list!
- Are you a fantastic listener?
- Do you always take care to be sensitive to others’ thoughts and feelings?
- Do you have an amazing work ethic, at your desk and in the gym?
Remember why you’re awesome already, and enjoy being strong in those things.
15. Set firm boundaries.
That list you just made? Those are all the reasons you absolutely do not have to worry about being single right now. Or ever!
When anyone is shy and feels like he has trouble meeting new people, there’s a temptation to bend over backward to make a relationship work when maybe it shouldn’t.
It can be scary to let go of a relationship and venture back out into the crowd to find a new connection worth developing.
That’s why knowing yourself is so important:
- Being in touch with your self worth means knowing what you can and cannot deal with in a relationship.
- It means knowing that you deserve to be treated as well as you treat someone else.
- It means not being afraid to enforce your personal boundaries, as long as you respect the boundaries other people set down, too.
Walking away from something that isn’t right for you is so much easier when you can remember why you were great before this relationship, and realize you’ll be great again after it.
16. Allow yourself the time and space to get things right.
Growth takes time.
Try to be patient with yourself as you decide what feels right to you.
It may take you six months into your first relationship to get the hang of things, or it may be a gradual process that spans years and several different relationships.
17. Take all of this knowledge forward into any future relationships.
When you have a healthy sense of who you are, what you need, and what you can offer to another person, you’ll be able to communicate and grow maturely with the right partner when you find her.
This is a crucial component of healthy relationships that last over the long haul.
Now rinse and repeat, because the cycle of learning never really stops.
Conclusion on the best dating advice for introverted men:
Anything in particular stand out to you?
We covered a lot of territory, and a few strong takeaways are…
- learning how to become a great partner,
- practicing the “approach”, “converse”, and “flirt” steps until you feel confident stepping out of your comfort zone, and
- putting it all together to carry with you into a great relationship someday.
While these tips obviously don’t fall under the “quick changes you can make” style of dating advice for introverted men, “quick and easy” is probably not what you’re personally after.
You’re looking for effective advice, right? Ways that will actually help you meet a woman and build a life with her?
Awesome! Putting in the hard work (time, effort, patience, and persistence!) is the most effective thing you can possibly do.
This is the key to developing real confidence in yourself and your dating skills.
Your next step to that is checking out our Magnetic Confidence program! Sarah Jones, founder of Introverted Alpha, created this powerful self-study program that will help you take all you learned in this post and translate it into your life, with fun and ease!