How to start a conversation with a woman
Although nearly everyone loves to hear kind words that make them feel special, introverted men can sometimes overthink when it comes to deciding what to say to a woman.
Considering body language, text messages, and spending time together, how can you navigate all the nuanced love messages coming and going in your dating life with a great sense of humor?
The truth is… more than anything, women love authenticity.
A woman you date wants to see your true colors shine through, not some polished version of who you think she’d like.
Still, though, where do you start?!
Today, we’re going to cover five examples of what to say to a woman you’re attracted to.
Why does communicating well with women matter in the first place?
When you can hold a conversation of depth with a woman you find attractive, you can more easily secure the opportunity to take her on a first, second, and third date!
Now, let’s dive in!
1. Find ways to show her you’re a gentleman.
If you feel a bit hesitant to show your interest overtly, this could be a great first step for you! It’s a humble, unassuming way to serve women who love to be cared for thoughtfully.
The subtleness of your gentlemanly behavior could indicate to her that you’re simply a chivalrous kind of guy, all while making her intrigued by you!
For example, you might…
- Ask if you can clear her plate or bring her back a drink at a party,
- Rescue her from an obviously unpleasant conversation by swooping in and excusing the two of you, or
- Offer to help her put on her coat or jacket (or give her yours if she is cold!).
When you’re not sure what to say to a woman, these thoughtful gestures let her know that you’re attentive to her needs and eager to make her feel comfortable. At the very least, it will make her feel thankful for you and curious to get to know you better!
2. Give her a genuine compliment.
Authentic praise can fan the flame of attraction because there’s nothing like feeling desired that makes a woman want to reciprocate that feeling!
When you want to show a woman special attention, you can compliment her on anything you notice, like…
- What she is wearing and how it looks on her (“Your sweater is a beautiful shade of blue! It really brings out the color of your eyes.”),
- Something she said and what that says about her (“The ideas you shared in the meeting earlier were great. You are so creative!”), or
- An accomplishment or small act she did that you noticed and appreciated (“I noticed that you held the door for that older gentleman. That really shows how kind you are!”).
When you give her a genuine compliment, think less about what you say and focus more on communicating the joyful effect she has on you!
Pro Tip: When you’re wondering what to say to a woman, remember that being present, smiling at her, and maintaining prolonged eye contact makes everything you say feel more powerful!
3. Incorporate touch if you both feel comfortable.
If you want to convey attraction without words, use touch!
This is very effective and fun for both people, as long as you can read from her that she is enjoying interacting with you so far.
Here are natural ways you can incorporate relaxed touch and body language attraction into your conversation with her…
- Let your legs or arms touch each other at first (if she’s not pulling away, you can stay steady or increase!),
- If you are standing, you can touch her arm or lean into her shoulder just a bit with yours, or
- When you’re standing or sitting together (on a sofa or bench, for example), you can touch her back in a moment of closeness (only do this one if she seems very comfortable with less intimate touches first).
Your gentle touch helps you explore your chemistry together because connecting body-to-body, you can tell if your physical attraction seems to be mutual! Touch is often more effective than any verbal comment you can make when you’re wondering what to say to a woman.
It’s the “show, don’t tell” of communication through attraction!
4. If you’re feeling more bold, go ahead and tell her how you feel.
As long as you’ve had a genuine conversation (even if it was brief), you can share how you feel in a relaxed way when it feels best to do so.
Here are a few ways you can word your feelings naturally:
- “I feel so x around you,” or, “I love being near you” (Fill in the blank with what you feel!)
- “I feel attracted to you” (This one is very direct! Feel free to tell her why, too.)
- “You know what, I love being near you. Could I see you again soon?” (This puts the ball in her court while making your intentions clear.)
Although making this leap and saying how you feel can be intimidating, the clarity and relief that comes on the other side of your authenticity will make any initial hesitation fade into the background!
5. Fall back on this 10-word sentence.
Did a woman you don’t know catch your eye? This can be the most nuanced situation of all when you’re figuring out what to say to an attractive woman.
That’s why we like to recommend this short, sweet, flattering, and to-the-point sentence:
“I noticed you, and I had to come say ‘hi.’”
It’s honest without being too gushy, and it may surprise her without making her put her guard up. All in all, it’s a flattering way to say, “Wow! You impress me!” and that’s something every woman wants to feel!
Conclusion on what to say to a woman you’re attracted to
Your Next Steps
Here’s what to do next to make sure your dating and leadership skills keep improving:
- For more advice on what to say to a woman, check out our collection of posts on Conversation and Flirting.
- Download our free ebook, “Why PUA Doesn’t Work for Introverts & What Works Instead” to build these conversation skills on a foundation of confidence!
- For more personalized support, consider our First Touch To First Kiss program.
Join First Touch To First Kiss to get the inside scoop on the 10-step seamless sequence to…
- Earning her trust,
- Building chemistry, and
- Always knowing what to do next.
First Touch To First Kiss is a powerful self-paced program that allows you to absorb and integrate the material in your own personal timing. Don’t wait! Discover how to incorporate touch and start building attraction with her today.