How to get back out there after a break from dating
It can be intimidating to get back into the dating game after taking a break. If you’re an introverted man who feels out of practice dating, you’ve come to the right place!
Perhaps you took a break from dating, thinking you could simply hop right back in when you felt ready.
You had no idea that feeling “ready” would go hand-in-hand with feeling lost, out of place, and unsure. The apps are different, you’re second-guessing your every move, and the whole process is leaving you feeling overwhelmed and drained.
Know this: YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
Although returning to the dating scene is intimidating and overwhelming for everyone, introverts tend to find it particularly difficult to get back out there after a long absence.
The key is to start with small, achievable milestones and, most importantly, to build your confidence one step at a time.
In this post, we’ll share 6 valuable tips to help you feel more comfortable and confident if you’re feeling out of practice dating.
It takes confidence to get back out there
You may be thinking to yourself,
“I’ll feel more confident dating when I feel less out of practice dating…”
In fact, the opposite is true. “Putting yourself out there” without taking the time to reflect, plan, and build your confidence first can leave you feeling even more lost and discouraged in the long run, further breaking your confidence. On the other hand, when you invest in building up your confidence and sense of self before you start dating again, that confidence will serve as shock absorbers when you hit some bumps along the way. That’s exactly what this free 22-page ebook helps you with: building your confidence from a deep sense of self and knowledge of what makes you uniquely attractive. Download “Why PUA Doesn’t Work For Introverts & What Works Instead” now so you can circle back after you read this post!
Now, let’s dive in!
Take time to reflect
Before you start dating again, take the important step to evaluate yourself and your past relationships.
- Where did things go wrong in your past relationships?
- What types of actions were you doing when the relationship felt like it was flowing smoothly?
- How did you feel when you last dated? How do you want to feel this time?
- What have you learned about the type of woman you’re looking for?
- What would you like to change in your next relationship?
- Have there been any recurring red flags you’ve ignored?
- How will you handle the situation if you notice red flags in future relationships?
- Do you wish you had listened more or less to the advice of specific friends or family members in previous relationships?
Once you start reflecting, you’ll likely think of many other questions for yourself.
Dive into your answers, focusing on what you’ve learned and how you can apply those lessons moving forward!
Set realistic expectations
Don’t expect to find the perfect person right away. In fact… don’t expect to find “perfect” at all!
Maybe Hannah Montana got it right:
“Nobody’s perfect, I gotta work it again and again ’til I get it right. Nobody’s perfect, you live, and you learn it, and if I mess it up sometimes… Nobody’s perfect.”
As cheesy as it may seem to take advice from a pop singer, these are wonderful words to live by! A great first date doesn’t have to be perfect:
- Perhaps her work meeting runs long, and she shows up 20 minutes late.
- Maybe the conversation flows really well for 80% of the time, and the other 20% of the time it takes a bit more work.
- Perhaps you leave the restaurant after an awesome meal together to find that she has a flat tire. Instead of getting dessert, you help her solve the problem at hand.
- You might be enjoying yourselves thoroughly only to look up and see your ex in the same coffee shop.
- Maybe you’ve both been flirting all night, yet when you go in for the kiss the interaction feels awkward.
When you expect a certain amount of awkwardness, uncertainty, or the need to pivot your plans because of something unexpected, you can roll right through those moments with confidence and poise!
Because you’re only human, your experiences are bound to be imperfect. Here at Introverted Alpha, we can help you learn how to lean into those moments and find the magic even in the mundane as you build an authentic, beautifully imperfect relationship!
Grow your confidence
While you may understandably feel a little nervous, don’t let those fleeting feelings hold you back.
Remember that you have something to offer, you are worthy of love and companionship, and you already attract people naturally by being your unique self.
If you’re ready to walk in full confidence, accept who you are, discover your strengths, and grow personally so that exuding confidence feels natural for you instead of fake or forced… you need to download our ebook!
Start small
Don’t feel like you have to jump into a serious relationship right out the gate.
By starting with casual dates and lowkey activities, you can ease back into the dating scene in a natural, peaceful way instead of stressing about feeling out of practice dating and putting unnecessary pressure on yourself.
By taking it slow and steady, you’ll make your presence in the dating world feel less urgent, more sustainable, and honestly… way more fun.
Need some first date ideas? Check out this list of 52 date ideas, perfect for introverted men who feel out of practice dating.
(Bonus: if going out for drinks doesn’t appeal to you, all 52 ideas in that article are alcohol-free!)
Utilize online dating
Online dating can be a great way to meet new people and expand your social circle if you feel out of practice dating. Have fun with it!
If you feel out of practice dating, sometimes re-downloading an old app only to see how much the platform has changed can feel a bit daunting. Or perhaps you’re trying a completely different app and you aren’t confident navigating it quite yet.
If it helps you to enjoy the process more and worry less about getting it perfectly right, think about your conversations and connections online more as “research” than as high-stakes dating.
Get out and have fun
Go out with friends, join a club or activity, or try something new!
Saying “yes” to invitations you’d usually turn down will give you the opportunity to meet some new people, especially if you’re feeling out of practice dating.
And those new people you meet — who knows?! Maybe you’ll meet your future girlfriend, or someone who will introduce you to her.
If not, at the very least you’ll get to work on your conversations skills and maybe make some new friends along the way.
Never underestimate how attractive it is to a woman to see a man genuinely enjoying himself in a carefree, authentic way.
What’s next? Action steps for introverted men feeling out of practice dating
Now that you know how to strategically rejoin the dating scene, you’ll be able to do so with a sense of unbreakable confidence.
What to do next
To make sure your dating and leadership skills keep improving, remember to download our free ebook, “Why PUA Doesn’t Work for Introverts & What Works Instead”!
For more personalized support, consider our First Touch To First Kiss program.
You’ll discover the 10-step seamless sequence to earning her trust, building chemistry, and always knowing what to do next!
We made First Touch To First Kiss specifically for introverted men like you who feel out of practice dating want to need the step-by-steps for creating and maintaining chemistry on dates.
This powerful, self-paced program allows you to absorb and integrate the material in your own timing.
