Introvert Dating Problems and How to Resolve Them

Turning introvert dating problems into strengths

At the intersection of one’s dating life and social situations, extroverts and introverts have completely different experiences.

While many extroverts thrive in small talk settings, environments full of chit-chat can understandably feel like the epitome of introvert dating problems and the very last place many introverts want to spend time.

That’s exactly where a lot of people go wrong in either seeking or giving dating advice to introverts.

The biggest red flag of them all is the suggestion to adopt a fake, forced persona instead of embracing and growing an introvert’s unique, powerful strengths.

Not to worry; we’ve got your back! Today, we’re going to share how the iconic duo of humility and confidence can work in tandem to help you resolve common introvert dating problems.


Why do introverted dating struggles matter in the first place?

When you develop the calm self-image it takes to connect well with others (whether you want to date them or not), you’ll experience a fuller, richer life of meaningful conversations and relationships.

Do you know where that kind of unbreakable self-image comes from?

Confidence… the kind that’s so deeply rooted, it can’t be affected by setbacks.

The secret to developing that kind of confidence is knowing who you are, what’s attractive about you, and why your presence on this earth is so needed.

When you date from that kind of self-knowledge, most if not all of your introvert dating problems simply fade into the background.

That’s exactly why we created this free 22-page ebook: to help you get in touch with your unique gifts and find out what makes your energy so magnetic!

Download it here so you can read it after you finish this post. 

Now, let’s dive in! 


Here’s how to resolve introvert dating problems with confidence and humility

C.S. Lewis once said,

“Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less.”

In those heightened moments where you feel your social anxiety taking over (especially in the early stages of getting to know someone), ask yourself this question: 

Who are you thinking about?

Are you worrying about what to say and if you look okay?


Are you staying focused on the woman you’re with, showing genuine interest and curiosity in what she shares, and treating her warmly to help her feel comfortable?

As we go through three common introvert dating problems, we’ll show you how to shift your mindset and take action with both confidence and humility!


1. Introverts need both space and companionship.

Happily, both of these needs can coexist in a healthy way! Introverts don’t want to be alone all the time, just a lot of the time. 

Approaching connection with humility and confidence means advocating for yourself and protecting your energy WHILE affirming your desire to see your crush or partner in the future.


2. Dating an introvert can be difficult for extroverted partners who don’t understand.

Although the differences may feel a bit overwhelming at first, introvert-extrovert pairs make up the majority of married couples for a reason!

In fact, one survey found that only 5% of people who responded were extroverts married to other extroverts, while 55% are in a marriage with one introvert and one extrovert. For any extrovert to successfully date an introvert requires self-knowledge on both parts.

Facing each of your differences head-on with both humility and confidence might mean taking an online personality test together (like this one) and sharing what resonates! This will be so helpful in allowing you both to understand and appreciate each other better.


3. Going on dates can be exhausting for introverts.

Before approaching burnout, it’s important to evaluate how much alone time you need in order to feel at your best.

That need may look different on weekdays vs. weekends, so consider how many days a week you can realistically go on dates without wearing yourself too thin.

It takes humility to get clear on your boundaries (i.e. your personal life choices), and it takes confidence to implement your boundaries with peace and calm. Although it may feel unfamiliar at first, this practice will soon have you feeling well-rested and ready to be at your best on dates. The more you practice setting boundaries to protect your time and energy, the easier it becomes!


4. It’s okay to ask for help.

Sometimes it can be helpful to have someone to serve as a neutral third party help you evaluate your needs, goals, and boundaries. Being realistic about your needs and goals is the first step to feeling confident, fulfilled, and happy. Learning how to set boundaries is a skill that takes practice, and it’s totally normal to feel a bit uneasy about taking this important step.

Finding a therapist in your area (or even one who provides telehealth visits!) is a wonderful way to receive additional support and feedback. If you are a psychologist looking to provide services to others, check out these job opportunities.


Conclusion on how to resolve introvert dating problems

Now that you know how to leverage both humility and confidence to overcome these three common dating challenges, you can date from a place of authenticity and clear expectations!


Your Next Steps

introvert dating problemsHere’s how you can take action to improve your dating skills:

  1. Read more advice for introverts in this article: Best Dating Advice For Introverted Men: 17 Keys.
  2. Download our free ebook and don’t skip page 8!
  3. Get personalized support in building authentic confidence through our Become A Benevolent Badass program.

Becoming more empathetic, authentic, humble, and confident doesn’t mean changing who you are; it means becoming the best and truest version of yourself.

Along those lines, Become A Benevolent Badass is our in-depth, personal 1:1 coaching program that will help you…

  • Find your inner true north and deepest sense of self,
  • Become your relaxed and playful best around others, and
  • Rise up as an intentional social leader.

Becoming a true Benevolent Badass will pave the way for better self-esteem, deeper connections, and a clear vision of what you’re looking for. Discover more and apply to speak with us about how we can support you today!

Micayla from IA
Micayla from IA
Micayla is resident writer here at Introverted Alpha, which is known as the premier dating coaching company for introverted men; featured by Forbes, Business Insider, Cosmo, and more. Pick up your free copy of our 22-page ebook inside the blue box just below.

Attracting An Amazing Girlfriend Starts with Finding Your Own Vibe.

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In this powerful free 22-page ebook, “Why PUA Doesn’t Work for Introverts And What Works Instead,” you will uncover… 

–> 3-step exercise to find what makes you uniquely attractive

–> Why the “pickup artist” approach will never work for introverts and what works instead

–> How to attract women naturally being your best self

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Attracting An Amazing Girlfriend Starts With Finding Your Own Vibe.

In this powerful free 22-page ebook, "Why PUA Doesn't Work for Introverts And What Works Instead," you will uncover...


--> A 3-step exercise to find what makes you uniquely attractive
--> Why the “pickup artist” approach will never work for introverts and what works instead

--> How to attract women naturally being your best self

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