Finding a girlfriend when you’re introverted
Men and women everywhere long to meet people, engage in positive social interactions, and enjoy experiences that feel good.
For most people, especially introverted men, the desire to form a loyal, long-term romantic connection runs deep.
However, many quiet guys can start to feel a bit discouraged when they find themselves struggling at how to get a girlfriend for introverts, which is a necessary step to securing an attachment that could be lifelong.
Take this Introverted Alpha reader, for example (let’s call him Josh). He says…
“I had decided I wanted a girlfriend, and I was using apps like Tinder and Bumble, but I struggled setting up dates. I had a lot of chats that I felt like they went on and on over days, but we didn’t ever meet up.
“And then, the ones who did end up going on a date with me, I would want to see them again, but I would hear silence, or they would not be interested in seeing me. It was really frustrating.”
Sound familiar? Maybe you can relate to another one of our readers (who we’ll call Griffin), too…
“I used to worry that I may never find the right partner and I’d end up settling for someone in fear of running out of time. Finding the right woman always occurred to me as the most important need I couldn’t figure out how to satisfy.”
It’s understandable to experience feelings of frustration, fear, urgency, desire, and confusion that both Josh and Griffin felt when it comes to improving one’s dating life.
Happily, it doesn’t have to feel that way! Today, we’re going to cover five tips to help you get a girlfriend as an introverted man.
How to get a girlfriend for introverts: The honest truth
When you become the type of man that women are naturally attracted to, getting a girlfriend becomes much easier.
And the best news?
They want YOU! In your most confident, authentic, peaceful form. :)
Now, let’s dive in!
First, focus on what attracts others to you
Keep in mind, we’re not just talking about physical attractiveness! There are lots of ways to attract people besides your looks.
However, whatever unique good looks you’ve got going for you (everybody has something!), you might as well work it!
To uncover this magnetic magic inside you, pick something you have a natural talent for and challenge yourself to maximize it. Ideally, this should be something others can notice about you right off the bat.
Here are a few examples:
- Lean into your mysterious side. If you were blessed with this intriguing trait, use it! Drop hints, make subtle jokes, and turn on the irresistible mystery man charm! Many women find this to be irresistible.
- Accentuate your physique. Whether you have some leftover muscle definition from college sports or not, building some more muscle, losing fat, or learning to dress better for your shape can go a long way in making you look and feel more attractive. When you feel confident about yourself, you naturally become magnetic to others!
- Tap into your one-liners or other style of humor in social settings. Women LOVE when guys can make them laugh. If you have a knack for telling a good joke, don’t hold back! When you can make someone laugh, that’s an instant way to build a connection..
Second, gently move beyond your comfort zone
The whole point of maximizing your attractiveness (like we shared above) is to draw others to you, and this step is all about meeting them there.
Although introverts don’t usually enjoy initiating conversations, the great news is that making the first move in forming a connection is simply a matter of practice!
Plus, doing what is valuable for us, even when we get a bit uncomfortable, provides a wonderful way to slowly and sustainably achieve personal growth.
If you take it slow and make a little bit of progress each week or each month, after some time has passed, you can look back and notice how each small effort has stacked up to make big results!
For some tips on how to get the ball rolling in conversations, check out this post: 2 Good Ways To Start A Conversation With A Stranger.
Third, sign up for an online dating app (or update one you have already)
Although online dating may feel a bit challenging, online dating success rates are nothing to scoff at.
One researcher from the Washington Post says this about his studies of online dating:
“For people who have a hard time finding partners in their day-to-day, face-to-face life, the larger subset of potential partners online is a big advantage for them.
“For folks who are meeting people everyday—really younger people in their early twenties—online dating is relevant, but it really becomes a powerful force for people in thin dating markets.”
Introverts (especially introverted men), people in small towns, with busy schedules, or who are over 30 often thrive in the online dating space. Encourage yourself to give it a chance. You never know who you will meet!
Fourth, be willing to share what you’re passionate about
As a general rule, introverts tend to spend a lot of time by themselves. Time alone creates a buffer of space and time to develop hobbies, interests, and passion projects!
Automatically, then, you have something interesting to share about, and you might be surprised at how your depth of knowledge and passion for a project can be extremely attractive to others.
When you get lost in what you love and others can see that excitement written all over your face, they often can’t help but get swept up along with you!
Sharing your interests is a great way to let a woman into your inner world even early on. She may find herself enjoying the same hobbies as you, and then you’ll have an activity you can enjoy together!
Fifth, listen intently to what she says while also reading between the lines
Guys who wonder “how to get a girlfriend for introverts” often feel like it’s a monumental task to transform a first date into multiple dates, and then a lasting relationship.
The previous tips focused on making yourself more attractive early on, so how do you build real intimacy and start laying the foundation for a beautiful long-term relationship?
Listening is key!
The first date isn’t a monologue or an interview. Be prepared to ask her questions, and then pay attention for areas where you can ask for examples or more detail.
Happily for you as an introverted man, listening is likely one of your strong suits already. This step will come naturally for you, and she will appreciate how attentive you are beyond just making small talk.
When you both open up to each other, that’s when the magic starts!
Conclusion on how to get a girlfriend for introverts
Now that you know how to attract women more easily, you’ll be able to strike up more conversations, go on more dates, and experience better dating success as you gradually reach beyond your comfort zone!
Your Next Steps
Here’s what to do next to make sure your dating and leadership skills keep improving:
- For more advice related to this topic, dive into our collection of articles about meeting women!
- Download our free ebook, “Why PUA Doesn’t Work for Introverts & What Works Instead” to build these dating skills on a foundation of confidence!
- For more personalized support, consider our Launch Your Dating Life program.
Do you feel like your chances at dating have passed you by? That is NOT true.
Many of our clients have gone from ZERO DATES to GIRLFRIEND in a matter of weeks or months.
It’s your turn!