3 Techniques on How to Ask if Someone is Single

How to figure out a woman’s relationship status

Knowing how to ask if someone is single takes some tact and effort, and we’re excited to show you how to do that in three simple techniques today!

So, you’ve met a woman you’re attracted to. You aren’t sure if she’s…

  • Single or taken,
  • Open to the idea of dating, or
  • Available enough with her schedule to make a relationship work.

Naturally, you want to find out if she’s single in a way that feels as comfortable as possible for both of you!

If you’re an introverted man who wants to find out if a person is single (or what their relationship status is) through a tactful, easygoing conversation, you’re certainly not alone!

We’ll go way beyond the basic glance at her left hand to see if she has an engagement ring or wedding band on her ring finger.

In fact, we cater our recommendations especially to introverts like you wondering how to ask if someone is single.

Today, we’ll cover three effective techniques to reveal her relationship status, including the…

  • Laidback ask,
  • Patient investigation, and
  • Straight shooter’s script.

By the end of this post, you can experiment with each of these approaches or simply fall back on the one that resonates with you most!


Why does this matter in the first place?

When you can confidently find out whether she is single or open to a relationship, then have a clear path forward on what your next step should be.

Before we go further… 

In order for any of this to be of use to you, you first need to find out what is attractive about you to begin with. 

Reason being, once you know that she’s open to a date, you’ll then need to navigate the conversation toward asking her out. When you have a self-assured vibe, women are naturally drawn to you and want to know more about you.

That’s exactly what this free 22-page ebook helps you with!

Download “Why PUA Doesn’t Work For Introverts & What Works Instead” now so you can circle back after you read this post!

Now, let’s take a look at the three techniques for how to ask if someone is single! 


First technique: The laidback ask

This approach is not all about the perfect wording… in fact, we’d argue that it’s more about the perfect MINDSET.

Stressing over worst-case scenarios will only make you freeze in the moment, whereas developing a gentle, positive, authentic attitude can help you lead (and enjoy!) your conversation!

Before you ask her if she’s single, know that your nonverbal communication is just as valuable (if not moreso) to women.

So, without further ado, “the laidback ask” can be as simple as this…

“By the way, are you single? I saw you with that guy and wasn’t sure.”

This simple, no-stress script does so much for you by…

  • Affirming your attraction for her (which will make her feel great!),
  • Maintaining your calmness while helping you sound confident,
  • Freeing you up to focus on your body language and eye contact due to the simplicity of the words, and
  • Honoring her space (and possibly her relationship) to share whether available.

What do you think of this approach? Does this option feel too direct for you?

If so, our second technique might be the right one for you!


Second technique: The patient investigation

Humans have several qualities in common, and one of those is that we find a way to clearly express what’s important to us.

Whether that becomes apparent in the course of small talk or through our social media pages, you’ll notice that the more you interact with women from an authentic and curious place, they’ll naturally open up to you about what matters to them!

That’s exactly where this strategy comes in.

If you’re committed to being patient, she’ll answer your question without you ever even having to ask!

For example, her relationship status may come up when chatting about her…

  • Living situation (parents/roommates/boyfriend),
  • Plans for an upcoming holiday or travel plans,
  • Future goals or dreams, and
  • Free time or hobbies.

How to ask if someone is single can feel like a delicate situation. The only potential downside to this slow and steady approach is that you will need to put in more time and emotional investment before you find the answer.

The biggest pro, on the other hand, is that your curiosity and interest honors her as a person without rushing you into a more direct conversation if you’re not ready for that!

If you’re looking for an approach that’s more straightforward than both of these two techniques we’ve shared so far, this final strategy may be the right one for you!


Third technique: The straight shooter’s script

As an introvert, you’re likely more on the analytical side of the spectrum.

Women LOVE this about you, and this part of your personality can be used as such a strength in your life!

However, your introspection may also have a tendency to cause you to overthink when you’re deciding what exactly you should say.

You want to be…

  • Direct without being too intense,
  • Clear without sounding standoffish, and
  • Concise without coming off as impatient.

These qualities can be a tricky balance to strike, so thankfully you can fall back on this foolproof script to reveal whether or not she’s single AND whether or not she’s interested in you:

“Can I take you on a date sometime?”

If you can withstand feeling a bit vulnerable as you say these eight words, there are so many benefits to being direct:

  1. Many women appreciate a straight-forward request for a date.
  2. You don’t waste any time (these words take less than three seconds!).
  3. You make your intentions and attraction clear.
  4. She can decline gracefully before anyone is too emotionally invested.
  5. You place the ball in her court (especially with the word “sometime”), which helps her feel comfortable and safe.

If she agrees to a date, ask for her number so you two can create and confirm a plan!


Conclusion on how to ask if someone is single

how to ask if someone is singleNow that you know three different scripts you can use instead of wondering how to ask if someone is single, you can engage in a way that feels both enjoyable and comfortable!

Let’s review. Today, we covered…

  • The benefits of keeping your approach as relaxed as possible,
  • How to navigate a patient discovery process, and
  • Exactly what to say if you’re ready to get straight to the point!


Your Next Steps

Don’t forget to download our free ebook to better understand, embrace, and utilize your best traits.

Check out our posts on dating leadership so you can navigate your dates with confidence and always know what next steps to take. 

Sometimes, when considering your dating and your overall love life, your unique situation may benefit from more in-depth guidance.

For more personalized support on how to ask if someone is single, consider our Launch Your Dating Life program.

Do you want the guidance of your very own Introverted Alpha dating coach to…

  • Be and feel sexually attractive,
  • Meet and connect with great women, and
  • Fill your dating funnel with quality dates?

Launch Your Dating Life is our 12-week high-touch, comprehensive program that will help you do all of the above (and more!), all while feeling more like yourself than ever! Discover how to launch your own dating life today.

Picture of Micayla from IA
Micayla from IA
Micayla is resident writer here at Introverted Alpha, which is known as the premier dating coaching company for introverted men; featured by Forbes, Business Insider, Cosmo, and more. Pick up your free copy of our 22-page ebook inside the blue box just below.

Attracting An Amazing Girlfriend Starts with Finding Your Own Vibe.

Introverted Alpha Ebook

In this powerful free 22-page ebook, “Why PUA Doesn’t Work for Introverts And What Works Instead,” you will uncover… 

–> 3-step exercise to find what makes you uniquely attractive

–> Why the “pickup artist” approach will never work for introverts and what works instead

–> How to attract women naturally being your best self

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Attracting An Amazing Girlfriend Starts With Finding Your Own Vibe.

In this powerful free 22-page ebook, "Why PUA Doesn't Work for Introverts And What Works Instead," you will uncover...


--> A 3-step exercise to find what makes you uniquely attractive
--> Why the “pickup artist” approach will never work for introverts and what works instead

--> How to attract women naturally being your best self

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