“I’m an introverted man and I’ve been wondering, ‘Do women like introverts like me?'”
It’s a totally understandable concern.
Most men grow up with the idea that the party animal, the attention-getter, and the class clown get tons of attention from women. Meanwhile, quiet introverts can often feel like they’re fading to the back of the room in social situations.
However, you don’t have to be the constant center of attention to be attractive! (And thank goodness for that, right? Standing under the spotlight can get exhausting!)
Happily, women actually love introverted men. The key is to understand why and use that knowledge in your own life.
That’s what we’ll be covering today.
We’re going to be…
- listing a huge number of common introvert traits that women find extremely attractive,
- using fictional heartthrobs as proof that women do love introverts, and
- tapping into your own unique confidence and strengths to achieve the same effect.
Before we jump in, let’s figure out why “Do women like introverts?” is such a common question we hear all the time.
Why do introverts worry about being attractive enough?
It’s all about perspective.
In particular, it often comes down to that old adage, “the grass always seems greener on the other side of the fence.”
When you go to a party and you see a half dozen giggling women crowding around a man animatedly telling a story, it can be tempting to feel a little bit envious.
Especially if you’re standing in the corner awkwardly trying to dodge small talk as you observe this.
You can in this moment remember that it’s impossible to see under the surface of the situation.
Perhaps he puts on a social “party persona” because he feels desperately unable to make deep connections. You never know what another person might be dealing with.
You, on the other hand, likely form deep connections with relative ease, once you get past the initial ice-breaking moments. That’s one of the perks of being an introvert, and one of the perks of women who are spending time with you!
So when you find yourself worrying that you might not be as outwardly attractive to women as some of the extroverts you see, just keep in mind that you have a lot going on in your favor when it comes to building lasting and loving relationships.
What could be more attractive than that?
Now, let’s get to the good part.
The truly important question is “Why do women love introverts so much?”
To answer this question, let’s brainstorm every stereotype you’ve ever heard about “what women want.”
Give yourself 30 seconds and blurt out as many words as you can think of that you often hear women associate with attractive characteristics in a man.
Your list will likely end up looking something like the one below:
- Strong,
- Masculine,
- Alpha,
- Mysterious,
- Stoic,
- Unshakeable,
- Responsible,
- Stable,
- Dependable,
- A good listener,
- Understanding,
- Empathetic,
- In touch with his own emotions and not putting on a “social face”,
- Caring,
- Loving,
- Deep,
- Logical,
- Practical,
- Realistic,
- Smart,
- Intuitive,
- Intellectual, and
- Loyal
Once you’re done, look at all those traits as a whole.
Do many of those sound familiar? ;)
(Here’s a hint. Check out this post: “10 Ways Introverts are Awesome.”)
So that’s the logic. But we offered you proof that women love introverts.
Think for a second about the following list of fictional characters:
- Greg House
- Superman/Clark Kent
- Sherlock Holmes
- Bruce Wayne
- Oliver Queen
- Peter Parker
- Bruce Banner
- Wolverine
If you’re wondering what these guys have in common, it’s simple:
These characters are all introverted men who inspire audiences of women everywhere to swoon at their TVs.
Yes, these characters have the benefits of being handsome and endowed with extraordinary abilities. But the root of their attractiveness goes so much deeper than that.
Their introverted qualities of loyalty, depth, and taciturn mystery are what draw women in and create blushing fandoms worldwide. Those inner qualities shine through their relaxed and confident body language and their vibe.
For more on this, go to our flagship post: “Why & How Introverted Men Are So Damn Attractive.”
From the incredibly smart though socially-challenged Greg House and Sherlock Holmes to the strong and silent Bruce Wayne to the unshakeable loyalty of Peter Parker, there’s something about these introverts that seems irresistible to female viewers even despite their character flaws.
There’s a reason that book, TV, and movie writers keep turning to introverted males to emotionally move their audiences. Introverted men spark deep feelings of strength, safety, intelligence, and confidence.
Who knew you were so well-suited to save the world?
But what do you do if you’re not a superhero?
If you haven’t worn a cape since your sixth birthday party, don’t worry. You don’t need superhuman strength or the ability to fly to make a lady weak in the knees.
In fact, you don’t need to possess all (or even most!) of the attractive traits from section 1. For example, you wouldn’t exactly call Sherlock Holmes “caring” or “empathetic.”
What’s attractive about these men is that they have one or a small handful of special qualities that they excel at using.
The key is to identify your own desirable traits and maximize them. Have confidence and competence with whatever skills you bring to the table.
If you’re naturally in tune with your emotions and the emotions of those around you, for example, learn to listen deeply and empathize with women you’re talking to.
If you tend to be “strong and silent,” tap into your unique air of mystery and intrigue.
Or if you’re the type to take charge and get the job done efficiently, showcase that decisiveness and efficiency!
Chances are, you have just as much swoon-worthy material to work with as the characters on that list. Chiseled jaw and tights not required.
Conclusion on “Do women like introverts?”
Yes! The answer is a resounding yes.
And now you know why. :)
As a quick recap, we covered these major points today:
- Deciding that so many of the attractive qualities women love about men are represented frequently by introverts,
- Proving that women love fictional introverts, so they will love real-life ones too, and
- Strengthening your own attractive qualities.
If you’d like some more help figuring out how you can use your natural tendencies to become even more attractive, download our free ebook, “Why PUA Doesn’t Work for Introverts & What Works Instead.”
Being attractive only gets you so far, however. Once you’re on a date with a woman, you’ll need to know how to connect with her, how to touch her, and how to build chemistry in a way she’ll love. Our First Touch to First Kiss program is a self-paced study on how to do exactly that (even if you’ve never done it before)! Get started here.
