“What makes introverts so attractive?”
As an introvert, it can be all too easy to feel like extroverts have most of the “desirable” personality traits.
After all, outgoing, gregarious people tend to get noticed.
Don’t let yourself feel discouraged, though. Introverts have so many fantastic qualities to offer!
Today we’ll talk about how…
- getting to know others on a deep level,
- being a loyal and trustworthy confidant, and
- tapping into your gentlemanly nature
… are all things that many introverts do naturally!
It might take an outsider some time to notice these fantastic things about you. Sometimes resting in that quiet confidence that you have many inner levels to explore only adds to the mystery and attractiveness.
We’ll get to that in just a second. But first…
Why is it important to realize that introverts are awesome indeed?
Some introverted people can struggle to build the kind of confidence that a lot of extroverts seem to radiate. It can be hard to feel heard when you spend most of your life being quiet.
Understanding that introverts are awesome can help you overcome any self-doubts and nourish successful, enjoyable social interactions.
In turn, that creates a positive cycle of reinforcement where…
- feeling confident
- leads to acting confident,
- which leads to having positive interactions,
- which leads to feeling even more confident.
Now let’s get to it!
1. You have a special presence “in the moment” with others.
We’re starting with this one because you may recognize it as a central point of many blog posts here at IA.
And it’s a big one!
Introverts have a certain way of forming deep and lasting connections with people they care about that is endearing, sincere, and compelling to introverts and extroverts alike! Your quiet depth is irresistible. ;)
This can be a huge benefit when you’re looking for (or successfully maintaining!) a long-term relationship.
2. You have a perpetual head start when it comes to self-knowledge.
Introverts tend to spend a lot of time swirling in deep thought.
While sometimes those deep thoughts are about the world around you, often you turn inward and focus on yourself:
- How do you feel?
- What makes you tick?
- What do you want out of life?
Your introspective nature means you’ve got wisdom that usually takes much longer to develop.
That kind of wisdom can be super attractive and helpful. It’s so much easier to build a healthy relationship with someone else after you’ve already developed a healthy relationship with yourself!
3. You’re inherently trustable.
Because you form deep connections with people, and because you know yourself well, you understand why it’s so important to stick up for those you care about.
And in long-term relationships, you’re faithful and unlikely to stray and jeopardize that bond you share.
Your depth and loyalty in all your relationships stands out to anyone who pays attention. Who wouldn’t want a friend and partner just like that? :)
4. You help people feel seen and loved because you are a genuinely fantastic listener!
Do you often find yourself lending an ear to anyone who needs it?
Your excellent listening skills make you a shoulder to cry on for your friends.
Not only that, any future girlfriend will feel safe confiding in you and sharing her deepest thoughts and feelings.
You can imagine how much intimacy this builds!
5. You are naturally chivalrous (which is so attractive!)
Introverted guys often have a “default setting” of wanting to bend over backward to make others happy.
(Sometimes they do this even to their own detriment. If this sounds like you, check out our Magnetic Confidence program to learn all about setting healthy boundaries.)
As long as you have those healthy boundaries in place and you’re not afraid to enforce them, coming from a place of wanting to be kind and supportive is such an attractive thing!
6. You can be enigmatic to others without even trying.
While you might not enjoy being the life of the party, enthralling a large group with your hilarious stories, you likely can pull off being the mysterious, quiet guy that draws the interest of women who can’t resist a handsome, taciturn stranger.
Lean into your “man of mystery” vibe and drop breadcrumbs of your personality into conversations that will make others want to hear more.
7. You are a natural trendsetter.
There’s the “usual” way of doing things, and then there’s your way.
With your reflective introverted nature, you think twice before going along with the crowd. Rather, with time and confidence, you are inclined to be someone so unique and comfortable in his skin that others are inspired by you.
You walk alone in many aspects of life (and you’re comfy with that!) so this quality might come more naturally to you than it does to others.
Having trouble getting there? No worries. While some introverted guys hesitate to stand out by going against the grain, it’s totally possible to learn to have such quiet confidence in yourself that it doesn’t bother you to forge your own path.
8. Because you understand the value of “me time”, you are refreshed and recharged, ready to be present when you’re with others.
Introverts recharge their batteries by spending time by themselves or with select few others.
And you know what tends to happen when a person spends a lot of time alone?
Jean-Paul Sartre was right when he said “If you’re lonely when you’re alone, you’re in bad company.” Introverts understand this more clearly than most.
If something is buzzing around at the edge of your mind when you spend that quiet time by yourself, you’re likely to fix it instead of drowning it out with social stimulation.
9. You’re a natural confidant.
You know what you get when you combine the previous points about being inherently trustable and a good listener? Friends who know they can always talk to you about anything.
Because you automatically think before you speak, you’re great at keeping secrets.
And one of the benefits of being trusted to keep a secret is that others tend to confide in you even more. When someone shares the things they would be afraid to tell anyone else, you know you’re building some serious intimacy with that person.
10. You have the inner makings of a truly great leader.
If you think leading would come more naturally to extroverts, think again!
Introverts who have most or all of the above qualities on this list (good listening skills, a genuine desire to be good to others, a drive for improvement, etc.) have so many of the leadership skills that make your team members feel happy and valued.
So if you’ve never taken on a leadership role, give it a shot. Chances are, you’ll surprise yourself!
Conclusion on why introverts are awesome:
Somewhere inside, you probably already know that introverts are awesome.
Just in case you need a pick-me-up, we created this list for you. :)
Today, we talked about…
- using your depth and loyalty to earn the trust of others,
- lending your excellent listening skills to people who need a friendly ear, and
- leading others in a way that makes them feel heard and appreciated.
Hopefully by this point you’ve broken out of your shell, conquered dating, and accepted a management position at work. As you sip your coffee and ponder your overnight success, remember to point back to this post as the catalyst for your transformation.
Though we wish it did, lasting changes don’t come overnight. That’s why we’ve created an in-depth self-study program to help you lay the foundation for lifelong confidence. Magnetic Confidence was made (with love!) for guys just like you. Get details and enroll here!