“I have a date tonight. How can I tell if she likes me?”
Imagine the moments right before a first date.
You’re showered, dressed, and polished up.
You’ve got your nicest shoes on, your clothes are neatly pressed, and even your hair is cooperating.
There’s just one last thing to do before you head out the door for your date: prep your mindset.
Go into your date with today’s list freshly in mind so you can pick up on the signs she’s into you and plan your moves accordingly.
If you’ve Googled lists like this before, don’t worry. We’ll go much deeper than the standard…
- lip biting,
- hair twirling, and
… that you’ll find in most articles. (Though we cover those too!)
By the end of your date, you should not only be able to tell if she likes you, but also if there’s potential for a deep connection between you.
So let’s get started!
Why is it important to recognize the major signs she’s into you?
If you were to go on a date and have no idea what your date was thinking or feeling, it would be impossible to…
- build tension, or
- escalate to the next level.
Understanding if your date is having a good time, as it’s happening, is a pretty vital dating skill to learn. It enables you to react appropriately regardless of whether she is throwing out red lights or green lights.
Plus, if things are going well, that can be a serious confidence boost in the moment.
When the good vibes flow freely, you both can relax and enjoy each others’ company. Which, of course, makes it even more likely that the date will continue to go well!
Now, let’s get to the list.
1. She initiates eye contact
Eye contact can be hard to maintain with people you’ve just met. If your date makes the effort to catch your eye on a regular basis, that’s a huge positive mark in your favor.
2. She seems happy
There’s no “RBF” to be found on your date’s face. She’s happy and smiling by default, and you can tell the smile is genuine because it reaches her eyes.
Better yet, laughing and giggling both indicate that she’s in a great mood and she wants you to know it.
3. She’s biting her lip
Hey, we said we’d cover the obvious ones too!
Purposeful lip biting (especially while maintaining eye contact) signals that she is most definitely picking up what you’re laying down.
Unlike some of the more unconscious reactions (like smiling), lip biting is almost always a conscious and flirty move.
4. She touches or twirls her hair
This is another one of the “classic” signs she’s into you, and it’s classic for a reason.
When a woman touches or twirls her hair on a date, it often means she’s either trying to rearrange it so she looks better (a good sign) or actively flirting with you (even better).
5. She gets up close
On a first date, the two of you probably won’t make a lot of physical contact. However, her posture can tell you if she’s thinking about it.
She might lean in as you’re speaking, stand close to you as you wait in line, or tilt her head your way as you’re sitting side by side.
6. She touches you
Though you probably shouldn’t expect anything beyond platonic touches, pay close attention if your date initiates any kind of physical contact.
Even a light touch on the hand or a brush of her knee against yours could very well be intentional.
7. She seems relaxed and comfortable
Have you ever met someone you easily clicked with right off the bat?
Chances are, you instantly felt some level of comfort with each other because you recognized you’re on the same page together.
If you and your date relax around each other and start showing authentically vulnerable sides of yourselves, that’s an incredible thing.
It often means that you both intuitively know you’re a good match, even if your logical brains haven’t caught up yet.
8. Or, she might seem a little shy, nervous, or self-conscious
This can be a negative sign, indicating that she doesn’t feel comfortable.
However, some people tend to show some nerves on a first date, and that’s okay! It could mean she finds you extra attractive and she’s feeling intimidated.
You’ll have to use your gut on this one. If it happens in combination with a few other signs she’s into you, you can take a little sign of shyness as a positive.
9. You are at the center of her attention
It’s human nature that when you’re on a date that isn’t holding your interest, it can be tempting to let your eyes and your mind wander.
You look around at the surrounding environment, you “people watch,” or you have the urge to glance quickly at your phone.
If your date does none of those things, chances are it’s because she’s engrossed in the date with you.
10. She wants to hear what you have to say
If she listens intently, asks relevant questions, and commits your answers to memory (you’ll recognize it when she brings something up later), that’s a great sign that she wants to get to know you further.
11. She actively engages in the conversation
Similarly, if your date talks animatedly during her share of the conversation and happily goes into depth when you ask her questions, it shows that she wants you to know her as well.
Importantly, #10 and #11 should happen together. When you have a good mix where both of you ask questions, volunteer information, and listen attentively, the conversation will feel natural and pleasant for both of you.
12. Speaking of questions…
There’s a huge difference between a woman asking “What did you do last weekend?” versus “What are you doing next weekend?” She may subtly probe around to see if you’ll ask her out again.
Questions also provide a great way to gauge whether she thinks of you as a serious potential partner.
If she sticks to the shallow end, you might not be able to glean much information on her intentions.
However, deeper and more value-oriented questions (“Where do you see yourself in five years?” or “Are you open to the idea of kids someday?”) are a dead giveaway that she’s sizing up your compatibility.
13. She points out things you have in common
Even if the comparisons are about small things, like…
“Oh, I went to college there too!”
… the common ground can still build a sense of bonding.
You get bonus points if she starts comparing larger life values, such as…
“I completely agree; I would love to raise a family and live in the mountains someday.”
Some people do indeed bring up these topics on a first date if they feel there could be serious potential. So pay attention if it suddenly feels like you both have everything in common.
14. Your date lasts longer than you had planned
You set up a fifteen minute coffee date, and two hours later you’re still happily hanging out together. Time flies, but neither of you makes any moves to leave.
Can you say “instant connection”? ;)
15. You find the “flow”
You’ve lost track of time, moved seamlessly from grabbing a coffee into strolling around the mall, and now you’re headed to dinner.
No matter what activity comes up as a suggestion, the other seems to be up for it. The date flows by almost effortlessly.
This is one of those definite signs she’s into you, but it’s absolutely not a mandatory one. Don’t worry if this doesn’t happen; it’s a lot to ask for on a first date!
16. You notice you’re mirroring each other
When two people are in sync, they tend to “mirror” each other and temporarily adopt the same postures and mannerisms.
If you’ve noticed a few times that you’re both relaxed with one leg crossed over the other, or you’re both leaning forward with your chin in your hand, or you’re both doing something in the exact same way, that’s a clear indication you’re on the same wavelength even down to a subconscious level.
17. You lightheartedly tease each other
If you feel comfortable enough to toss in a playful verbal jab every once in a while, and she laughs and responds in kind, you can take that as confirmation that you have clicked.
It’s not just that playful teasing is a form of flirting (which it totally is!), but that the vibe between you feels so comfortable and natural that you’re freed up to exchange some witty banter.
18. She volunteers some personal information about herself
You’ve gotten past the surface-level talk, and now you feel the atmosphere changing.
Your date begins to share something personal about herself. It could be a childhood story about losing a loved dog, a secret dream to one day own her own company, or anything else that opens some real, authentic place inside her heart.
Tread carefully; this vulnerability is not only one of the stronger signs she’s into you, it’s also a sign of true intimacy developing.
19. Similarly, you might find yourself opening up unexpectedly
You probably didn’t go into this date with a plan of spilling all of your hopes and dreams, but your date has something about her that makes you feel so comfortable and accepted that you can’t help sharing.
She smiles warmly, empathizes with you, and somehow makes you feel safe to tell her anything.
That kind of connection doesn’t tend to happen when attraction is one-sided, so this is one of the more concrete (but subtle!) signs she’s into you on a deeper level.
20. At the end of the date, she goes in for a hug
When was the last time you felt like hugging a near-stranger who you weren’t attracted to?
If your date goes in for a hug, she’s rolling out the welcome mat for you to step into her proximity bubble.
21. There’s an awkward, lingering moment…
This one is purely for bonus points.
The date went well (or at least, you suspect it did), she went in for a hug, and now it’s time to leave.
Or is it?
What is she waiting for?
She’s just standing there, lingering awkwardly.
Did the temperature just rise, like, ten degrees?
While the first date may not always be safe territory to move in for a first kiss, that lingering moment is proof positive that you’re both thinking about it.
22. She asks you out on a second date
If you’re thinking, “Well, duh!” then you’d be correct.
There’s really no more obvious of the signs she’s into you than her saying out loud that she’d love to see you again.
Conclusion on how to read 22 signs she’s into you on a first date:
For some of the above, you’ll need to pay close attention. Others will jump out at you like a bright neon sign screaming “She’s totally interested!”
With practice, you can hone your intuition and pick up on even the subtlest signs she’s into you, like when she’s…
- leaning toward you slightly,
- catching your eye on purpose, or
- lingering awkwardly at the end of the date, waiting for something to happen. ;)
In order for any of this information to be relevant, you’ll need to be comfortable with asking women on dates in the first place. Download our free ebook, “Why PUA Doesn’t Work for Introverts & What Works Instead,” to brush up on some vital dating skills
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