“She’s not texting back…” How & When To Reply Vs. Move On

“Should I keep texting her or move on?”

When you text a woman you’re interested in, it can understandably feel a bit confusing and disheartening if you don’t hear back from her.

Many introverted men may have a number of questions swirling around their mind when that happens:

  • Did my text go through, or should I resend it?
  • Is she safe and doing okay?
  • I can see that she read my text… why didn’t she respond?
  • Did I say something wrong?
  • If I already sent a follow-up text and haven’t heard back, should I send another one?
  • We were having a great conversation… Why did it suddenly stop?

Happily, we’re going to share some perspectives that can bring a lot of clarity for those times when she’s not texting back! Before we dive in, consider this quote from an Introverted Alpha reader (let’s call him Sean):

“I texted her to say how much fun I had and she was responsive. She agreed to meet up next week! Then today, I wanted to keep the convo going. She teased me about being a tea-drinker when we met, so I texted her a pic of the tea I made. She responded with a pic of her coffee, and we’ve been texting most of the day.

“She’s even been throwing in some questions for me…which I think is a positive sign and REALLY helps alleviate the pressure of a texting convo, which is something I have had trouble with in the past.”

We want you to have warm, engaging connections like Sean did!

Today, we’ll walk through what to do when she’s not texting back in these two common scenarios:

  1. The conversation had been flowing well and stopped, and
  2. You sent the last text and didn’t get a response.

By the end of this post, you’ll know whether to respond, what to say, and when to move on.


When getting left on “read” feels personal

With unshakeable confidence, you can navigate texting conversations with peace regardless of the outcome.

It’s totally normal to feel a twinge of disappointment when you’re not getting a response.

Before you choose what to do, it’s important to reach some internal resolutions first.

When you can move through those feelings with grace for her as well as kindness and respect for yourself, you will have unlocked a level of self-assuredness that will absolutely draw the right woman to you.

Building that level of confidence takes intentionality! That’s why we’ve created a special exercise in this free 22-page ebook: to remove the guesswork when it comes to knowing what already makes you attractive.

Finding out what sets you apart will broaden your perspective and create true assurance that won’t waver even if you don’t get a text back from someone you really like!

Download that ebook here to read after you finish this post.

Now, let’s talk about what to do when she’s not texting back.


The conversation had been flowing well

A fun, playful texting conversation with your crush ranks up there with waking up on your birthday morning as a kid! There’s that buzzing energy, palpable excitement, and a sense of anticipation.

That’s why it’s a bit of a letdown if that chat comes to a halt. It would be like finding out you have to go to school and take a test instead of open presents and enjoy delicious treats!

In this scenario, the first action step we recommend is taking a deep breath. It’s normal for asynchronous communication to ebb and flow, so you have every reason to still believe the best about why you haven’t heard from her!

If you want the conversation to start back up again when she’s not texting back, send her a message that might make her excited to respond.

For example, you could follow up on something she mentioned before, like asking how her job interview went.

To keep the conversation light and playful, send her a photo of something that reminded you of her! Like Sean said in the example we shared at the top of this post, sending a picture of his tea revived some playful teasing over text.


You sent the last text and haven’t heard back

When deciding whether or not to text her again, the gray area between a firm “yes” or “no” hinges on two components: timing and frequency.

Before assuming anything, give her at least a day, and then reach out again with a positive, engaging text.

If you don’t hear back again, wait a few more days before sending one more fun text. You can keep that text short, sweet, and lighthearted!

After that, if you still haven’t heard back from her, it’s okay to let it go and move on.

Pro Tip: To handle this situation with class and tact, simply go about your life. There’s no need to tell her that you’re moving on because she hasn’t texted you.

Remember not to take it too personally if she’s not texting back. There are lots of reasons (many that don’t have anything to do with you) that a chat can fizzle out. If you move on gently, she may even start the conversation back up at some point. You never know! When you are respectful and kind, you leave that option open because she knows you are a gentleman.


Final thoughts on what to do if she’s not texting back

Now that you know when and how to reply or move on, you’ll be able to enter and exit texting conversations from an informed, confident perspective.

A quick note from the ladies here at IA: Whether you do or don’t get a text back, it can’t change your immeasurable value, unique gifts, and special purpose in this world.


Your next steps

man texting at coffee bar - she's not texting backOne of the best parts about improving your dating skills is that your leadership will naturally improve along the way, which will bring out the absolute best in you!

  1. For more advice, check out these articles about texting.
  2. Download our free ebook, “Why PUA Doesn’t Work for Introverts & What Works Instead” and complete the exercise on page 8.
  3. Launch Your Dating Life with our flagship 1:1 coaching program.

Through this personalized journey with your own dedicated IA Coach, you’ll discover what makes you sexually attractive, learn how to connect well with women, and start going on more quality dates.

When you build your confidence first, you can naturally attract the right women for you.

Introverted Alpha is an online dating coaching company that has supported smart, introverted men just like you since 2014, and we’d love to help you Launch Your Dating Life today!

Picture of Micayla from IA
Micayla from IA
Micayla is resident writer here at Introverted Alpha, which is known as the premier dating coaching company for introverted men; featured by Forbes, Business Insider, Cosmo, and more. Pick up your free copy of our 22-page ebook inside the blue box just below.

Attracting An Amazing Girlfriend Starts with Finding Your Own Vibe.

Introverted Alpha Ebook

In this powerful free 22-page ebook, “Why PUA Doesn’t Work for Introverts And What Works Instead,” you will uncover… 

–> 3-step exercise to find what makes you uniquely attractive

–> Why the “pickup artist” approach will never work for introverts and what works instead

–> How to attract women naturally being your best self

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Attracting An Amazing Girlfriend Starts With Finding Your Own Vibe.

In this powerful free 22-page ebook, "Why PUA Doesn't Work for Introverts And What Works Instead," you will uncover...


--> A 3-step exercise to find what makes you uniquely attractive
--> Why the “pickup artist” approach will never work for introverts and what works instead

--> How to attract women naturally being your best self

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