3 strategies to help introverts enjoy great conversations
If you’re wondering how to keep conversations going as an introvert, you certainly aren’t alone!
Socializing for introverts can sometimes feel a bit challenging.
When you recharge best by spending time alone, having long conversations with people can understandably feel exhausting, especially when you’re talking with someone you’re interested in and the stakes feel higher.
So, how can you let your personality shine through your conversational manner in a way that won’t leave you feeling depleted?
Happily, today’s post isn’t about how to make small talk. In fact, we’re going to focus on the conversation topics and social strategies that will help you move beyond the small talk!
Why does keeping a conversation alive matter in the first place?
When you can establish common ground and move past small talk, then you get to experience deeper, more fulfilling conversations that leave you in a contemplative state rather than a drained one.
Now, let’s dive into three strategies for how to keep conversations going!
How to keep conversations going: 3 effective strategies
1. Ask engaging questions
When you ask open-ended questions, and you genuinely want to know what the other person has to say, you immediately make them feel interesting, important, and worth listening to.
Who doesn’t want to feel like that?!
By making the other person feel special, you’ll receive more warmth and authenticity from them.
These are two very important ingredients in creating an atmosphere where conversation flows smoothly and effortlessly!
As they share more, look for similarities between the two of you and emphasize them. This contributes to a more meaningful bond. Plus, forming a connection with someone is the fastest way to move beyond small talk.
2. Build excitement
When people are happy to be around each other, conversation tends to feel like a walk in the park.
You can create that enthusiasm when you show that you truly care about what’s important to them. You can express your interest by sharing joy and appreciation for the ideas and hobbies they speak of. Remember, they’re only talking about something if the subject matters to them!
If their eyes light up and they smile or talk more animatedly, you know you’ve found a great topic.
Asking thoughtful questions, like we shared above, is another great way to show your curiosity and interest in their life!
3. Share stories
Developing your conversation skills isn’t only about listening and asking questions (although both aspects are very important!).
A conversation is a game of give and take. If you don’t offer anything for the other person to connect with, quite simply, they won’t feel connected to you.
As explored in The Patterns of Effective Conversation, some of the purposes of conversation are to…
- Acquire information,
- Make sense of a complex issue,
- Obtain different perspectives or viewpoints,
- Create change by challenging or shifting someone’s views or intentions,
- Brainstorm ideas and imagine possibilities,
- Collaborate effectively on a project or goal,
- Deepen or create relationships,
- Entertain or have fun, often through playful banter, witty comments, or flirting,
- Obtain or offer recognition, attention, or reputation,
- Receive or give appreciation, empathy, or reassurance,
- Make decisions, or
- Solve problems or create a plan to respond to them.
All of these examples require a connection formed through conversation.
Since our brains are naturally wired for stories, recounting an event is by far the fastest way to connect with someone AND to be remembered later!
Now that you know these three conversation strategies, you’ll be able to play to your strengths and interests as you connect with others, whether that’s through…
- Asking thoughtful questions to move the conversation beyond small talk,
- Generating some enthusiasm that makes both parties eager to continue talking, or
- Sharing stories to help you both connect on a deeply human level.
All of these pointers, and ideally a combination of them throughout a conversation, are great tips to fall back on when you’re feeling a bit worried or wondering how to keep conversations going.
Your Next Steps
To make sure your dating and leadership skills keep improving, here’s what to do next:
- Download our free ebook, “Why PUA Doesn’t Work for Introverts & What Works Instead” to make sure your dating skills are built on a foundation of confidence!
- Check out more of our blog posts on conversation and flirting skills to build your confidence in these areas even more.
- For more personalized support, consider our Magnetic Confidence program. Many introverted men like you have greatly benefited from this exact course!
In Magnetic Confidence, you’ll discover how to…
- Get noticed by quality women,
- Replace “nice guy” patterns with genuine strength, and
- Develop an unshakable sense of self.
When you’re able to confidently draw out your unique, genuine personality, you’ll easily create wonderful, lasting connections with others.