How To Become A More Confident Man: 4 Powerful Steps

How to become a more confident man

Genuine, lasting confidence doesn’t happen by accident.

When your self-esteem flourishes, it can transform your relationships, career, dating opportunities, and overall contentment with your life!

As you can start to increase your confidence today, take heart and keep in mind…

Building true confidence that lasts requires consistent efforts over time.

We want your confidence to increase over the course of your whole life, not just a single day!

That’s why we won’t tell you to just “stand up straighter” and call it done. While doing that can contribute to a boost in your self-esteem, true lasting confidence is made from many practices, not just one.

Today, we’re going to cover the four most powerful steps you can take to become a more confident man.

By the end of this post, you’ll know what to do to become the most self-assured version of yourself.


Why confidence matters

When your confidence goes up, you’ll start to notice results like…

  • More peace as your behaviors unapologetically reflect your values,
  • Better communication in relationships,
  • Increased joy and contentment in the core of who you are,
  • More energy and excitement as you open yourself up to new experiences, and
  • Greater willingness to grow by venturing beyond your comfort zone

… and the list could go on and on!

Confidence is like a muscle. If you regularly exercise and train it, it will grow. If you don’t, it will atrophy over time. So let’s grow that muscle!

There’s only one shortcut we can give you in your pursuit of increased confidence, and that’s discovering what is uniquely attractive about you.

When you tap into what makes you special, valuable, and important, your new perspective will catalyze your confidence.

Although thinking of yourself as valuable and unique may feel unfamiliar at first, it will transform the way you see yourself and the way others see you too! That’s exactly what this free 22-page ebook helps you with.

Download it here for after you read this post, and enjoy completing the helpful exercise on page 8!

Now, let’s explore the four best ways you can become a more confident man.



Growing up, did you ever hear your parents or teachers say something like “failing to prepare is preparing to fail”? This Ben Franklin quote is used often by reputable leaders, and for good reason.

Think of the times you felt most confident, peaceful, and true to yourself.

Were you…

  • Running late,
  • Underdressed,
  • Wishing you’d asked more clarifying questions, or
  • Hungry and tired?

No way!

The more prepared you are for a workday, social event, or anything in between, the more relaxed you will feel in that environment. That sense of ease is the hallmark of confidence!

Confidence can be fleeting under stress. The more you can do upfront to mitigate potential confidence dips, the more you can enjoy yourself, your environment, and the people around you!

Instead of feeling rushed or unprepared, what if you were to…

  • Set out items the night before you need them? Think: clothes, wallet, keys.
  • Communicate your needs and expectations early? Think: holiday plans, requesting vacation time off of work.
  • Do routine tasks as they arise instead of letting them pile up? Think: running a load of dishes or laundry, filling up the gas tank, charging your phone.

This readiness creates space and anticipation for joyful moments, which in turn creates a level of confidence that will set you apart.



When our outside habits and behaviors match our inside beliefs and values, this synergy creates a genuine sense of peace and contentment.

To see how well your external tendencies reflect your internal views, write down the qualities that are important to you.

Then, answer this question as honestly as possible:

If someone made a documentary of my daily life, would they say that my values are what I think they are based on how I live?

Happily, even if your most honest answer is “no,” it doesn’t have to stay that way!

We recommend listing a few simple points that you believe, turning those into goals, and then tracking how well you follow through on them.

For example, let’s say you’d like to build your confidence this month by focusing on three beliefs about your wellbeing:

  1. It’s important to hydrate,
  2. Regular exercise helps me feel my best, and
  3. A good night’s sleep transforms the next day.

You can then turn these into goals by aiming to…

  • Start each day with 16 ounces of water,
  • Move intentionally every day either by lifting, stretching, or going for a walk, and
  • Get to bed by 10pm on weeknights.

For introverted men wondering how to become more confident, choose a belief about how to achieve that, and then make a specific goal out of it! (Reading, stretching, and nutrition are common places to start.)

When you step-by-step align your behaviors with your beliefs, your confidence will start to soar without feeling forced.



How many times did you hear “mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell” in your science classes?

In the same way, your mindset is the powerhouse of your confidence.

Nothing can substitute for a growth mindset, and these are the top ways you can retrain your brain to help you build the confidence you long for:

  • Celebrate your strengths and manage your weaknesses,
  • Reframe mistakes as learning opportunities,
  • Accept and offer sincere compliments,
  • Use constructive criticism as a way to improve,
  • Choose to have a cheerful disposition as often as possible,
  • Look for gratitude opportunities instead of complaining or criticizing unnecessarily,
  • Congratulate others on their wins,
  • Visualize your goals as often as possible,
  • Remember and draw strength from past successes,
  • Practice thankfulness, and
  • Reach for new heights by overcoming limiting beliefs.

If you aren’t sure where to start on this list, pick just one item you’re most inspired to work on or scroll to the bottom of this post to see how we can help you.


4. FAIL.

“Fail” is a bit of a misnomer here. When you try something new or step out of your comfort zone, mistakes are a very normal part of the learning process.

As they say, you either win or you learn!

When you have the courage to mess up and keep going instead of giving up, we call that failing forward. By befriending the possibility of failure, you give yourself the grace you need while unlocking a whole new level of confidence.

Most people wait to feel confident before taking action because they don’t know that confidence is a byproduct of being able to say…

“I did my best. Even though it didn’t go as planned, I learned something new and can do better next time.”

Incredible perspective follows each mistake, and authentic confidence is best built as you reflect on those experiences.


Conclusion on how to become a more confident man

Man Reading Book Outside - How To Become A More Confident ManNow that you know these four steps, you’ll be able to start increasing your confidence as soon as you feel ready!

  1. Prepare as much as possible,
  2. Align your beliefs and behaviors,
  3. Recondition your mindset, and
  4. Fail forward.

Your Next Steps

To keep increasing your confidence, here’s what to do next!

  1. For more advice on confidence, check out this article: Confident Mindset For Introverted Men: 7 Key Levels.
  2. Download our free ebook, “Why PUA Doesn’t Work for Introverts & What Works Instead” to build confidence that will last!
  3. For more personalized support, consider our Magnetic Confidence program.

In Magnetic Confidence, you’ll learn how to…

  • Get noticed by quality women,
  • Replace “nice guy” patterns with genuine strength, and
  • Develop an unshakable sense of self.

Taking a strong step for yourself may feel out of your “comfort zone”, especially if you’ve felt that advice in the past has tried to get you to be someone you aren’t.

Of everything we’re passionate about for you at Introverted Alpha, drawing out your unique, genuine self is TOP of the list!

We can’t wait to find out the man you become when you have developed a magnetic confidence of your very own. Learn more and join here!

Micayla from IA
Micayla from IA
Micayla is resident writer here at Introverted Alpha, which is known as the premier dating coaching company for introverted men; featured by Forbes, Business Insider, Cosmo, and more. Pick up your free copy of our 22-page ebook inside the blue box just below.

Attracting An Amazing Girlfriend Starts with Finding Your Own Vibe.

Introverted Alpha Ebook

In this powerful free 22-page ebook, “Why PUA Doesn’t Work for Introverts And What Works Instead,” you will uncover… 

–> 3-step exercise to find what makes you uniquely attractive

–> Why the “pickup artist” approach will never work for introverts and what works instead

–> How to attract women naturally being your best self

"I love how personalized and caring you guys are at Introverted Alpha! It's so wholesome and refreshing." - I.L.

"I especially like how you’re a strong alternative to short-term, shallow PUA tactics." - K.K.

Recent Articles

Leaving Already?

Before You Go...

Schedule a call with us to improve your dating life immediately.

Couple In Love - IA Academy - Introverted Alpha

Attracting An Amazing Girlfriend Starts With Finding Your Own Vibe.

In this powerful free 22-page ebook, "Why PUA Doesn't Work for Introverts And What Works Instead," you will uncover...


--> A 3-step exercise to find what makes you uniquely attractive
--> Why the “pickup artist” approach will never work for introverts and what works instead

--> How to attract women naturally being your best self

We respect your privacy; we do not sell or share your email address.

Introverted Alpha Ebook

Yes, please send my ebooks!

You can send them to...

Yes, please send my ebook!

You can send it to...

Scroll to Top