How to Attract an ENFP Woman as an Introverted Man

“There’s an ENFP woman I would love to ask out. How do I catch her attention?”

If you look up “how to attract an ENFP woman,” you’ll find a ton of guides listing things that ENFPs like and don’t like.

While this is sort of helpful, in that you could try to bend yourself to fit what someone else wants and therefore become attractive to her in the short term, it’s not actually great advice in the long term if it means you’re pretending to be someone you naturally aren’t.

That’s why today’s post will focus on the real, solid, and genuine things that introverted men and ENFP women have in common when it comes to relationships.

This can include things like…

  • giving her a glimpse into your introverted depths,
  • showing affection readily, yet allowing her to be independent, and
  • letting her in on your hobbies and interests, even if they’re a little… unconventional.


Once you understand how you and the ENFP woman of your dreams can complement each other in a meaningful way, you’ll know how to attract an ENFP woman using the traits you already possess naturally.


Why is it important to know how to attract an ENFP woman?

Perhaps you have a heart-fluttering crush on a woman you suspect is an ENFP.

Or maybe you simply enjoy the fun, laid-back, and charming personalities that ENFPs seem to share in general. Ideally, you’d like to welcome someone like that into your life.

Either way, you need something more specific than the typical advice on how to be attractive to women.

ENFPs tend to share a strong undercurrent of traits. This means you can use ENFP-specific information to tailor your approach and tap into the attractive traits you already have.

If, as you read this post, you find yourself thinking you need a basic primer on how to attract more women in general, we still have you covered. Download this free ebook and see for yourself how you can turn up the heat. ;) >> Get it here! <<

Now, let’s check out the three ways ENFP women and introverted men click like it was meant to be.


Think ENFPs aren’t looking for depth? Think again.

There is this pervasive stereotype that introverts are “deeper” than extroverts. Meaning, introverts have this whole rich inner world that they like to dive into, while extroverts bubble around happily on the surface with tons of friends.

This stereotype is, thankfully, mostly a misconception. If it were true, it would likely be super hard to relate in any meaningful way to someone who operates so fundamentally differently than you.

Happily, both introverts and extroverts (and especially ENFPs) enjoy depth in their romantic relationships.

ENFPs can sometimes give off that flirty, casual vibe, and often they do this with a lot of different people. They are charming and outgoing, and they enjoy making those connections. That of course can sometimes appear like the ENFP prefers not to dive into a deep and committed relationship.

However, ENFPs also tend to have an incredibly strong moral code and value system that they keep inside.

Healthy ENFPs often long for deep connections and mutually intuitive feelings within a relationship that allow them to feel comforted, valued, and in alignment with those values.

And happily for you, the absolutely true part of the above stereotype is that introverts are adept at showing their depth right off the bat. For an ENFP woman who craves deep and meaningful connections, your natural ability to cut through the social fluff and get to the parts that really matter will feel irresistible.

This tends to be even more true for ENFP women in their late 20s and beyond. Interestingly, while younger ENFPs frequently do enjoy casual dating, they still long for something permanent and meaningful more and more over the years, until it eventually wins out.

So if you happen to be in the slightly older dating pool, it’s the perfect time to learn how to attract an ENFP woman into your life!


Shower her with affection, and then stand back and watch her flourish.

In early stages of dating, there can be this “push/pull” war going on in your mind:

  • Should I text more often or less often?
  • Do I seem too needy, or too aloof?
  • Is it better to be physically close or give her some space?

Here’s where introverted men and ENFP women line up in a pretty cool way.

(While it should go without saying, we’ll say it anyway: the following is true for introverts and ENFPs in general; of course each individual will have his or her own preferences.)

Both introverted men and ENFP women often have this craving for physical attention and affection only from the person they are romantically involved with, and a fierce independence in almost all other areas.

If you’ve always wanted to lavish a beautiful woman with compliments and love and then stand back and watch her conquer the world in her own way, this is your chance. If she’s on board with this plan, you will likely be delighted to find that she returns the favor.

There will be no need to take care of each other if both of you have developed your independent sides. At the end of the day, you can feel secure sending that “Thinking of you…” text message and knowing that she probably just smiled at her phone because she was thinking of you, too.


Be passionate and, okay, maybe a little bit weird.

ENFPs have a love for the unconventional. Following the beaten path is not something an ENFP woman feels drawn to. It’s probably not something you as an introverted man want to do either.

If you own a multi-level ant farm that you’ve cultivated for a decade, don’t hold that information back! Just because you’re on a first date doesn’t mean you should feel the pressure to be “normal”.

Or if you decided to drop out of high school and build your own lawn mowing business, and now you’re part-owner in a statewide landscaping company, definitely share that with her!

ENFP women are usually very open-minded and nonjudgmental, instead reveling in the fun details that make each person unique.

If you have never been the type of person to do something you should do simply because you should do it, now is your time to shine.

You may already have an ENFP woman you are interested in (hence, you’re reading this article). If you have yet to ask her out, perhaps hesitating because you worry about rejection, take the leap.

We can’t guarantee success (because each woman has her own needs, wants, and life circumstances). However, we can assure you that ENFPs are one of the Myers Briggs personality types most likely to take the leap and try something new with you. ENFPs love new adventures! They are also likely to have their curiosity piqued by your mysterious introverted ways. ;)

Even if she isn’t up for a date, she likely will be kind about letting you know. That’s the great part about interacting and spending time with a charming, nonjudgmental, and fun-loving ENFP woman.


Conclusion on how to attract an ENFP woman as an introverted man:

Happy Woman - How to Attract an ENFPNow you know the basics on how to attract an ENFP woman, dial your efforts in toward getting to know your intended date on a personal level beyond her personality test results. ;)

To recap today’s post:

  • Don’t be afraid to dive deep,
  • Enjoy sharing affection and attention with each other, and then go your independent ways, and
  • Show her your passion and your most unique qualities!

For a more broad look at becoming your most attractive self, download our free ebook, “Why PUA Doesn’t Work for Introverts & What Works Instead.”

Or, if you’re ready to be your absolute best in all areas of life (and especially with dating, of course), consider signing up for our Become a Benevolent Badass program. Join us for twelve weeks of robust content and highly personalized training delivered to you in one awesome comprehensive program. Check it out here.

Kelly from IA
Kelly from IA
Kelly is resident writer here at Introverted Alpha, which is known as the premier dating coaching company for introverted men; featured by Forbes, Business Insider, Cosmo, and more. Pick up your free copy of our 22-page ebook inside the blue box just below.

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Attracting An Amazing Girlfriend Starts With Finding Your Own Vibe.

In this powerful free 22-page ebook, "Why PUA Doesn't Work for Introverts And What Works Instead," you will uncover...


--> A 3-step exercise to find what makes you uniquely attractive
--> Why the “pickup artist” approach will never work for introverts and what works instead

--> How to attract women naturally being your best self

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