How to Ask a Woman Out: 10 Specific Words to Say

No more guessing… Here’s how to ask a woman out!

Are you an introverted man who is feeling unsure about how to ask a woman out?

If that sounds like you, you’re in luck. Today, we aren’t only sharing our proven 10-word formula that will show you how to ask a woman out…

We’re also revealing 7 of our best tips to help that conversation go flawlessly!

By the end of this post, you will be much more confident in your approach to asking a woman out that makes her feel more comfortable and excited to say “yes!” 


The #1 thing you need to do before asking a woman out

When you’re figuring out how to ask a woman out on a date, at least half of the equation is building up the courage to do it!

Do you feel like you have to pump yourself up or rely on cheesy pick-up lines in order to ask a woman out? These are signs that your confidence needs to be developed more before asking a woman out on a date.

While that may feel like a bit of a setback, the good news is that refining a strong, steadfast confidence will equip you for a much more sustainable, peaceful, and enjoyable experience with asking women out.

The reason being is that when you build your confidence on an unshakeable foundation, you won’t have to worry about what her response will be!

You can take a “yes” with humble pride, and you can accept a “no” with peace and gratitude.

In other words, your confidence is at a stable place when asking a woman on a date (or not) is something that is completely separate from your identity as a man.

So, how do you start building a sense of confidence like what we described above?

That’s exactly what this free 22-page ebook helps you with!

Download “Why PUA Doesn’t Work For Introverts & What Works Instead” now so you can circle back after you read this post!

Now, let’s dive in and discover how to ask a woman out! 


1. Make her feel special

Although a seemingly small action at first glance, the primary way you can make a woman want to say “yes” to a date with you is by letting her know exactly why you want to take her out in the first place!

Tell her how she caught your eye when she walked in the room, or what her friendship has meant to you over the years. Let her know what makes her stand out to you, and what draws you in and makes you want to know her better.

When she knows that you are thoughtful in your words, she will be more inclined to reciprocate your feelings.


2. Be confident

Speak clearly and confidently when you ask her out! If you seem embarrassed or uncomfortable, she may start to feel awkward and less interested.

Confidence is such an important character trait, and the great news is that you don’t have to “fake it till you make it.” We discourage that, actually!

Instead, remember to download our free ebook (mentioned above) with helpful exercises and advice to grow your confidence authentically and naturally.


3. Be personal

When you personalize your request instead of throwing out a super generic question, you seem so much more sincere and desirable!

Instead of saying something like, “Hey, want to go out sometime?,” consider integrating something you know about her or something she has shared with you to make your request more personal.

For example, you could say something like…

  • “I know you love lattes and I noticed a new coffee shop just opened in our area. How would you feel about joining me on Saturday morning?”
  • “I noticed that you’re about to finish that book you’ve been reading and I’ve been wanting to start another as well. What would you feel about going to the book store on Friday night to pick out our next read together? We could grab dinner afterwards too.”
  • “The Braves are playing a home game on Thursday night. I remember you telling me how much you love baseball. Would you like to catch the game with me that evening, or would you prefer something more lowkey?”


4. Pay attention to your phrasing

Specifically, we recommend that you ask an open-ended question!

The simple and brief “yes” or “no” answer can feel a bit anticlimactic in response to such an important question. Instead, ask her an open-ended question that she’ll be able to answer thoughtfully.

For example, a yes-or-no question would sound like this:

“Do you want to go on a date with me?”

On the other hand, keeping it open-ended could make the question sound like this:

  • “What would you think about getting dinner with me this weekend?”
  • “How would you feel about going on a date sometime?”
  • “If you were to say “yes” to going on a date with me, would you prefer something lowkey like coffee or something more adventurous like a hike?”


5. Don’t pressure her for an immediate answer

For so many different reasons, women can need some time to think about your offer before giving you an answer. Perhaps she…

  • Recently got out of a relationship and isn’t quite ready to jump back into one,
  • Was hurt deeply by a boyfriend she trusted and feels hesitant to trust again,
  • Doesn’t feel that she knows you well enough yet to answer,
  • Deeply values the life she’s built and wants to be sure you’ll be a great addition to that,
  • Is really excited to go on a date with you, and wants to make sure she’ll be able to prioritize you in her schedule.

Give her time, and be thankful that the answer you’ll receive is one that will be thoughtful, sincere, and totally reliable!


6. Be direct

Don’t beat around the bush!

A woman feels most flattered and receptive to being asked on a date when you can clearly state that you’re asking her out and why.

The more direct you are in how you ask her out, the more clear and direct (and less awkward!) her answer will be. 

Instead of asking her if she has any plans this weekend, you can ask her if she would be available to join you for a hike on Saturday afternoon.


7. Get specific

Don’t just ask her on a date! Give her details about what you’d like to do and when.

This will help her picture herself with you on that date and make her feel inspired to say yes!

So, instead of asking if she’d like to go out with you one day, elaborate on the where, when, and what. For example, you could say, “Would you like to join me for an art exhibit on Thursday after work? They’re showcasing local artists and since I know you love to paint, I thought it would be fun to check it out together!”



If you’re approaching a woman you’ve never met, you may feel unsure about where to start!

We recommend that you walk up to her as soon as possible and say…

“I noticed you, and I had to come say ‘hi.’”

These words are simple, yet so effective!

Saying this will naturally lead you into sharing why you wanted to come say “hi” in the first place, which is a great opportunity to start with tip #1 from above: make her feel special!


Conclusion on how to ask a woman out

Man And Woman Talking - How To Ask A Woman OutNow that you know how to ask a woman out, you’ll be able to do so with confidence!

Your Next Steps

For more personalized support, consider our Launch Your Dating Life program.

Many of our clients have gone from ZERO DATES to GIRLFRIEND in a matter of weeks or months, and now is the time for your dating life to shine!

Discover how to launch your very own dating life today.

Picture of Micayla from IA
Micayla from IA
Micayla is resident writer here at Introverted Alpha, which is known as the premier dating coaching company for introverted men; featured by Forbes, Business Insider, Cosmo, and more. Pick up your free copy of our 22-page ebook inside the blue box just below.

Attracting An Amazing Girlfriend Starts with Finding Your Own Vibe.

Introverted Alpha Ebook

In this powerful free 22-page ebook, “Why PUA Doesn’t Work for Introverts And What Works Instead,” you will uncover… 

–> 3-step exercise to find what makes you uniquely attractive

–> Why the “pickup artist” approach will never work for introverts and what works instead

–> How to attract women naturally being your best self

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Couple In Love - IA Academy - Introverted Alpha

Attracting An Amazing Girlfriend Starts With Finding Your Own Vibe.

In this powerful free 22-page ebook, "Why PUA Doesn't Work for Introverts And What Works Instead," you will uncover...


--> A 3-step exercise to find what makes you uniquely attractive
--> Why the “pickup artist” approach will never work for introverts and what works instead

--> How to attract women naturally being your best self

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