How to be sure she’s flirting with you
Everyone has their own unique ways of communicating and behaving, especially when it comes to flirting. While some people like to be bold and direct, others prefer a more subtle approach.
Since shy women tend to fall into the latter category, it can sometimes feel a bit challenging to accurately gauge whether or not she’s flirting with you. So, how do introverts flirt?
As an introverted man yourself, you naturally don’t want to make the wrong assumption, although you also don’t want her to feel ignored if she is flirting and you like her too!
This will be pretty easy for you to learn because you can likely empathize with how it feels to try to connect with someone who doesn’t seem to notice your indirect flirting signs. So it can be not only helpful but validating to know the signs that a shy woman is flirting with you.
Today we’ll share some flirtatious signs that a shy woman sends so that you know what to look out for!
By the end of this post, you will know longer feel like you’re in the dark or guessing when you wonder, “How do introverts flirt?”
Why is this so important in the first place?
When you can decipher the difference between general friendliness and signs of flirting, you can intentionally determine your next steps, as long as you have the confidence to do so!
Now, let’s dive in!
1. She gives you opportunities to make the first move.
Introverts are true artists when it comes to subtle messaging. If you’re wondering, “How do introverts flirt?”, keep in mind that many introverts prefer to be less obvious when it comes to flirting.
Naturally, instead of putting herself out there too much, an introverted woman may create an inviting opportunity for you to make the first move.
This usually means that she will hang back, get your attention discreetly, and then wait patiently for you to approach her for a conversation, her number, or a date!
2. She starts meaningful conversations with you.
The keywords here are start and meaningful.
As an introverted man yourself, you know firsthand that introverts don’t simply strike up a conversation with just anyone. If a shy woman goes out of her way to start chatting with you, you can rest assured that she’s interested.
The other half of this equation addresses the content of the conversation.
Introverts are beloved for so many different traits, and a common favorite is their low tolerance for small talk. Many introverts typically do not chat with everyone they don’t know (and don’t intend to know in the future).
So if a shy woman starts a conversation with you and proceeds to discuss topics of depth, it’s very likely that she’s interested in having you in her life and therefore flirting with you in her unique, intellectual way!
3. She acts a bit differently around you.
Slight behavior differences caused by flirtatious interest can show up differently from one shy woman to the next. Wonderfully, these tendencies have one thing in common: they show that her focus has shifted!
It may be that she…
- Laughs more readily,
- Seems more awkward or clumsy than usual,
- Appears more attentive, or
- Stumbles slightly over her words.
If you notice that she acts a bit differently around you compared to her other interactions, it’s likely because she feels differently about you than she does compared to other people!
4. She watches you when she isn’t by you.
And not in a creepy way! It’s totally natural for people to look longingly after the people they want to be near or the ones they feel curious about.
If you notice her eyes following you with a hint of desire, you can assume she is flirting with you from afar. Take it as an invitation to come start a conversation with her when the timing feels right!
5. She shows interest subtly through body language.
Whereas extroverts tend to display emotions and desires through attention-grabbing words and gestures, introverts are purposefully less obvious.
That means if you aren’t paying close attention, you might miss her inconspicuous flirting signs!
- Pull her chair closer to yours,
- Point her feet and torso toward you (indicating openness and interest),
- Move objects that are between you two (such as a glass) out of the way,
- Speak more quickly or in a higher tone,
- Tilt her head toward you,
- Touch you gently (such as brushing your hand),
- Bite or lick her lips, or
- Play with her jewelry or hair.
If you notice her doing any of these low-key ways of flirting through body language, don’t ignore them!
6. She takes action to show affection.
While introverts tend to think about themselves a lot, this has nothing to do with selfishness. Instead, it’s about picking clear priorities that protect their limited time, energy, and effort.
So, if an introverted woman goes out of her way to do something kind for you without you asking her to, she’s doing it to show you (rather than tell you) how much she likes you!
Examples of this might include…
- Bringing your newspaper to you because she noticed it’s about to rain,
- Going out of her way to hold the door for you when your hands are full, or
- Offering to run an errand for you during her lunch break.
7. She gravitates toward you in social settings.
Introverts can sometimes feel out of place in loud, crowded environments, so they naturally draw near to people who make them feel comfortable.
If you find yourself in a situation that seems to cater more to extroverts and she’s sticking close to your side, it’s likely because she finds comfort in your presence and enjoys how you make her feel.
“How do introverts flirt?” Final thoughts
Now that you know what to look for when you’re wondering, “How do introverts flirt?”, you’ll be able to determine your next move with peace and confidence.
Today, we went over seven signs that a shy woman is flirting with you. However, taking just one of these indicators alone may not necessarily mean that it’s truly flirting.
Take Sign #7, for example. If she’s gravitating toward you in social environments without showing any other signs, it could be that she just likes your company and doesn’t have any romantic interest.
That’s why we recommend looking at these seven tips all together, in context. When you can look down the list and check off multiple signs that you’ve noticed, you can confidently interpret her behavior as flirtatious!
Now, if you’re looking for more advice about flirting, check out this article, How To Flirt When You’re An Introverted Man.
And what about your next steps to making sure all this really sticks?
First of all, remember to download our free ebook, “Why PUA Doesn’t Work for Introverts & What Works Instead” to build your flirting skills on a foundation of confidence!
For more in-depth guidance, consider our First Touch To First Kiss program where you’ll discover the 10-step seamless sequence to earning her trust, building chemistry, and always knowing what to do next!
This is a powerful self-paced program that allows you to absorb and integrate the material in your own personal timing, becoming more confident by the moment. Learn more here!