Does Height Matter to Women?

Does height matter to women?

If you have ever felt self-conscious about if your height will matter to women, this is the article for you.

Let’s say you’ve just shown up for your first date with a woman. You heave an inward sigh of relief because she’s just as gorgeous as her photos online.

But wait a second… suddenly you feel her eyes looking you up and down. As you take your seats, is she slouching in her chair to feel shorter in comparison, or is it just more comfortable? And as you stand back up, is she looking down on you, literally?

Out of nowhere, you have height anxiety.

Worrying over one’s height is extremely common for men, especially in online dating because some women have height filters, and others may be surprised by a man’s height in-person even though it was clearly stated on their OKCupid profile.

So it’s understandable to be nervous when the two of you meet in person for the first time:

“Am I living up to the man she thinks I am from my profile? Does she think I looked taller in my photos?”

Worrying about your height can be a nerve-wracking experience.

If you constantly find yourself straightening up as tall as possible and secretly wishing you could pull off platform boots, how will you ever get your mind off your worries and onto the conversation so you can ask her about that fascinating hobby she mentioned?

In this post, we’re going to cover how you can put anxiety over your height to rest. Specifically, we’ll discuss…

  • Coming to terms with the fact that height can matter to some women,
  • Understanding that physical appearance is just the beginning of attraction, not the end, and
  • Displaying your other awesome attributes with confidence!

When we’re done, you’ll be able to use your positive characteristics as your winning formula instead of worrying over how tall you are.

But first, let’s take a step back and get a handle on the big picture:


Why would height matter to women in the first place?

When you feel confident in your own skin, it’s easier to act with confidence. As you’ll learn below, connecting with the great things about yourself is how you’ll ultimately show your date that you have exactly what she’s looking for.

If you feel like overt confidence is beyond your skillset right now, one good intermediate goal is to avoid highlighting your insecurities to your date. Remember, she may not even notice the things you’re insecure about unless you draw her attention to them!

How can you learn to focus your attention, and hers, on your best qualities?

A great start would be to check out this free ebook.

You could be the tallest man in the world, but if you’re not showcasing your best self, it won’t matter.

We can help you out with this. Here’s your ebook on building your confidence and feeling like a benevolent badass!

After you’ve downloaded your free ebook, keep reading to understand why height isn’t that big of a deal, and how to feel good in your own skin no matter how much vertical space you take up.


Height can matter… to some women. And that’s okay!

Most people tend to prefer a partner who is a fairly close match with their own body type. That means tall women often do enjoy dating tall men.

If the woman you’re on a date with expresses a preference for taller men, it’s okay. It really is.

Think about your preferences for the women you want to date. Do you like redheads? Women who wear hipster-chic glasses? Maybe you yourself even have a height preference.

Just because the woman you’re going out with does not perfectly line up with the fantasy woman in your mind, that doesn’t mean you won’t give her a chance! If the two of you really hit it off and connect on a deeper level, you’ll soon forget all about Item #14 on the mental checklist of attributes you thought you wanted.

The same goes for your date’s preferences. You may not be physically perfect, but who is? She’s out with you because she liked you enough to agree to a date!

When it comes to finding love, there is no “you must be this tall to ride” height requirement. The right woman for you will think you’re wonderful even when you worry you aren’t.


Physical attributes can only go so far.

Of course attraction is wonderful. That spark when you and another person find each other mutually attractive is always a welcome rush.

However, shallow relationships end after the mutual attraction phase loses its fresh appeal. If you want to keep a relationship from fizzling out after this initial spark, you must connect on a deeper level.

That deeper connection has nothing to do with physical attributes like height.

This is great news! It means you can establish an emotional connection with a woman based on things like…

  • Finding mutual values and hobbies in common,
  • Sharing fascinating stories about both of your pasts, or
  • Telling jokes and having conversations that last long into the evening!

You don’t have to rely on your height, or any other physical characteristics you can’t change, to hold a great woman’s interest.

Remember, nobody is working with a perfect hand of cards (even the GQ models), so be sure to showcase the things you do feel great about! A confident man who makes an effort to connect emotionally is way more attractive than a man of any height who won’t.


The most attractive thing you can do is show confidence.

You already know that confidence is attractive, but what does that entail?

It’s all about where your focus is.

People have a tendency to focus where you draw their attention. This is true even if you don’t mean to draw their attention to certain things!

If you are on a date with a woman and you make a shy joke about wishing you were taller, that may be the first time she even notices you likely didn’t try out for the NBA.

Before that, she may have been getting lost in your deep eyes or listening with rapt attention to your hilarious story about work last week.

On the other hand…

If you make the conscious decision to showcase the things about yourself you’re most proud of… the things that make you feel attractive… you will be more attractive.

It’s that simple!

Choosing to channel your attention towards what you bring to the table naturally draws her attention to your positive characteristics.

And that means, those are the things she will notice! Just take care that you don’t cross the line from confident into arrogant. A humble sense of enjoying being in your own skin is the best kind of confidence.


Conclusion on “Does height matter to women?”

Now that you understand why height isn’t going to make or break your love life, you’ll be able to quiet your anxiety and remember the things that truly matter for making a deeper connection with a woman.

Let’s go over the key points we covered today:

  • Accepting that height can matter, and that having preferences for your date is okay.
  • Understanding that true emotional connections go much deeper than physical characteristics.
  • Finding confidence within yourself based on the things you love about you.

Do you feel self-conscious about other things, too? Download our free ebook, “Why PUA Doesn’t Work for Introverts & What Works Instead” to see how we can tackle those insecurities together and turn you into the benevolent badass we all know you can be.

Also, consider letting us help build your dating confidence in a 1:1, fully customized setting through our Launch Your Dating Life program. By talking with us in a personal phone call (apply here), we can see if the program is right for you at this point in your journey.

Picture of Kelly from IA
Kelly from IA
Kelly is resident writer here at Introverted Alpha, which is known as the premier dating coaching company for introverted men; featured by Forbes, Business Insider, Cosmo, and more. Pick up your free copy of our 22-page ebook inside the blue box just below.

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