3 Small Ways to Be Relaxed and Kind to Yourself

What steps can you take to be more in tune with yourself?

Sometimes, we can tend to shut off from ourselves…

Whether it be stress from work, or simply a feeling of expectations on ourselves, feeling a bit frazzled is normal.

That said, how about feeling connected, loving, and present in your life? Wouldn’t it be nice to be consistently respectful and kind to yourself?

After all, you are closest to yourself. You’re in your own body! ;)

If you’re an introvert, you have a special advantage toward this that you may not even know! Being an introvert means your powers of introspection are likely well-honed.

In today’s post, we’re going to talk about how you can take your inherent gift for introspection further by building key skills.

We’ll cover…

  • doing small things to get in the habit of being kind to yourself,
  • becoming and staying thoughtful and in tune with yourself, and
  • learning techniques to relax and be present in the current moment.

While this article probably won’t turn you into a peaceful countryside monk overnight (email us if it does!) ;), it will get you into the right mindset to connect with yourself and build healthy self-care habits.

And that’s always a fruitful thing!


Why is it so important to relax and be kind to yourself?

Chances are, you already are in tune with the “golden rule” that Jesus spoke in Luke 6:31, which has now spread far and wide! It is this:

“Treat others as you would like to be treated.”

Even if you hold that close to heart, it can be easy to forget that you are also a person!! And so this is also true:

“Treat yourself as you would treat a loved one.”

Being able to relax and be kind to yourself will help you decide what you truly want out of life and act on it. Not only that, but compassionately connecting with yourself is the best and healthiest foundation to share that same love with others, as you build enduring special relationships in your life.

While connecting with yourself is a great start, it also helps to know what’s uniquely attractive about you!

Download this free ebook to discover what your best qualities are and learn how to showcase those for your enjoyment and the enjoyment of others!

Now, let’s dive into a few helpful techniques!


Unsure how to be kind to yourself? Start small.

If you’ve started to feel like your life is an endless treadmill of “work, sleep, repeat,” you know you need to level up your self-care.

Being kind to yourself doesn’t have to be overwhelming, time-consuming, complicated, or expensive!

All you need to do is consciously make the decision, a few times every day, to do a tiny thing for yourself that you wouldn’t have otherwise done.

Try things like…

  • taking the scenic route home on your commute so you can enjoy a picturesque sunset,
  • experimenting with a new topping on your lunch sandwich or salad, simply because it sounds good to you, or
  • making a new playlist of mood-boosting songs.

Aim for tiny infusions of happiness periodically throughout your day.

Just as you would show love for someone else by spending an extra few minutes doing something nice for them, show yourself that same love and care!


Connect with yourself emotionally.

Whenever you’re down or feeling “off,” pause and gently tune into your own thoughts and feelings, just as you would try to do in a relationship with someone (else!) ;) you love.

Sometimes, we can accidentally do life on autopilot, making major life decisions almost robotically without self-evaluation. As adults, we can sometimes tend to do things we believe adults should do.

When was the last time you checked in with yourself and decided what you truly want your life to look like?

It might be tougher to forge your own path than to follow a well-trodden road, but when your hard work starts to pay off and the life you want begins to take shape around you, you’ll know you’ve made the right choices.

How can you accomplish this?

Happily, thoughtfulness is a skill that can be built by habit in small increments over time!

Every tiny thing you do… yes, even down to sandwich toppings… defines what your life will feel like.

Making each of these tiny choices into a mindful decision trains your brain to “check in” frequently and evaluate how you feel about a certain thing.

With practice, making big life decisions will be a product of your active, conscious choice to take action in a certain direction, rather than an automatic response based on what an adult should do in a given situation.

Knowing you have the confidence to forge your life into whatever you want it to be can take a huge amount of anxiety away. You’ll be able to relax and remember…

You’ve got this.

You know what you want, and with your friends and loved ones surrounding you, you’ll get there with kindness and self-respect in all you do.

If that’s not the embodiment of a benevolent badass, I don’t know what is.


Remember to rest.

If the previous two steps were about taking deliberate action, this one is about taking time for deliberate non-action.

Before you grab your peanut butter cups and settle in front of the TV, this isn’t about collapsing in front of Netflix or mindlessly scrolling through your phone.

Those activities are fun, and they definitely have their place (!), but we’re aiming for personal growth.

Growth is always a little uncomfortable.

When you set aside time for rest, do so with the intention of clearing your mind and returning to only your own thoughts and influences, rather than consumption.

You’re not scrolling through media, making pressured decisions, or filling your mind with a list of things you need to do today.

Not in non-action! Nope. :)

You’re just…


For a moment, anyway.

Put everything else aside, even just for a couple of minutes, and tune in to yourself.


If the thought of spending time with only your thoughts for company is intimidating at first, you can use the “start small” approach again.

Try doing activities that promote mindfulness:

  • Sit down at your table to eat a meal with the TV off, music off, and your phone on silent in the other room. Take in your food’s beauty and aroma, and enjoy how it tastes. Focus on the sensations of eating.
  • Take a walk and let yourself enjoy the sights, sounds, smells, and the feeling of the wind.
  • Clean your home and put your environment in order. Have fun decluttering your space just like you’re decluttering your mind.

Rebuild a restful, mindful connection with yourself in whatever way feels most natural to you.

Ultimately, the goal is to find a way to weave these tiny (seemingly insignificant when taken all alone) habits into your day. Find time to rest and reconnect with yourself, do sweet things for yourself, and check in emotionally with yourself periodically to make sure you’re staying true to what you really want.

Over time, when taken all together, these powerful habits add up. Soon, you’ll realize it’s second nature to relax and be kind to yourself when you really need it.


Conclusion on how to relax and be kind to yourself

Man Relaxing - Kind to YourselfLearning to relax and do good things for yourself is a lifelong practice. It is natural to struggle with this practice if we’re not taught how.

Hopefully, now you’re armed with a few more awesome and helpful techniques that will get you started!

In this post, we covered…

  • going out of your way to do small, happy favors for yourself,
  • tuning in to your emotional needs and wants, and
  • resting and returning to yourself periodically without any outside influences.

Now, what about building that self-confidence even more by discovering what is wonderful about you uniquely?

If you haven’t done so already, download our free ebook, “Why PUA Doesn’t Work for Introverts & What Works Instead” and dive into some great techniques to boost your confidence and attract women naturally!

To go full-speed with us on gently, powerfully launching dating life, consider joining our Launch Your Dating Life program. You’ll receive customized, personalized advice tailored to your situation. Let’s see if the program is right for you with a private phone call! Learn more and apply here.

Picture of Kelly from IA
Kelly from IA
Kelly is resident writer here at Introverted Alpha, which is known as the premier dating coaching company for introverted men; featured by Forbes, Business Insider, Cosmo, and more. Pick up your free copy of our 22-page ebook inside the blue box just below.

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Attracting An Amazing Girlfriend Starts With Finding Your Own Vibe.

In this powerful free 22-page ebook, "Why PUA Doesn't Work for Introverts And What Works Instead," you will uncover...


--> A 3-step exercise to find what makes you uniquely attractive
--> Why the “pickup artist” approach will never work for introverts and what works instead

--> How to attract women naturally being your best self

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