How to Succeed When Approaching Women: Advice for Introverts

Approaching a woman as an introverted man

Overcoming approach anxiety can be difficult without dating advice that is specifically geared towards you, an introverted man!

If you want approaching women to feel comfortable, you’re in the right place.

For introverts meeting women, common struggles range from reading her body language and eye contact to finding good conversation starters and ultimately getting her phone number.

That’s why we’re sharing 4 detailed tips that will help you approach a girl and feel good doing it!


The #1 trait you need to approach and attract women

We’ve helped hundreds of introverted men like you learn how to approach women, develop a meaningful connection, navigate relationship challenges, and ultimately fall in love!

They all have this one thing in common:


When you know exactly who you are, what you’re looking for, and why… that’s when you’ll really start approaching women with purpose and confidence.

First, you need to build up your confidence before you’ll be ready to talk to a girl. (That’s what this free 22-page ebook helps you with!

The other half of the equation is that your confidence will naturally grow as you follow through on your goals.

If your goal is to improve your dating life by starting a conversation once a week with an intriguing woman, regardless of the results of that conversation, your confidence will grow at the same pace as your follow through.

Our ebook, “Why PUA Doesn’t Work For Introverts & What Works Instead”, will help you get started with building the confidence to approach women without those cheesy, ineffective pick up lines! Download it now to read after this post!

Now, let’s dive in! 


What to do before approaching women

Mindset is everything! Before you start approaching women, remember that it’s a skill. Any skill takes time as you build confidence in what you’re doing. Don’t worry too much as you practice, reflect, modify, and keep improving!

Once your mind is in the right place, notice who you feel naturally drawn to as you walk into a room. There’s a reason why their presence feels magnetic to you. Is it their smile? The way they held the door for the big family behind them?

Hint: knowing WHY you were drawn to them becomes very important in our third tip, what to say!


When to walk up to an attractive girl and what to do next

Before approaching women, be sure you’ve evaluated whether or not they want you to come talk to them.

You can do this by purposely getting in her line of sight and making flirtatious eye contact, if possible. Depending on the setting, this can be as simple as a brief glance with a sincere smile before you look away!

If she brushes you off, tries to avoid you, or looks generally uncomfortable, this isn’t a woman you should approach. Honor her “no” even if it isn’t verbal.

On the other hand, if she glances back at you and smiles or giggles a little, that’s a warm invitation to go introduce yourself!

Try not to wait for the “perfect moment.” It won’t come unless you create it!

When you choose your moment, make your way toward her boldly, not aggressively. If you never try, you’ll never know!


What to say when approaching women

Learning to talk to a girl online (like on dating apps) is completely different from an in-person conversation (at a coffee shop, for example).

Don’t panic! If you can’t think of what to say, use our 10-word formula:

“I noticed you, and I had to come say ‘hi.’”

The next best conversation starter is to say exactly what about her made you want to come chat. When you point out something you notice or admire about her, it’s an easy way to create an amiable connection and diffuse any tension. Everyone loves a kind complement!

From there, instead of planning too many things to say, maintain a curious mindset. You can even think of it like gathering data to harken back to in a future conversation!

Remember, the more you cultivate a warm, authentic interaction, you make it more comfortable for others to be themselves. If you want to connect as quickly as possible, bringing your full humanity to the table is the best way to do that!


How to get her number and gracefully close the conversation

First, evaluate how your conversation is going.

Does she seem excited or intrigued to be talking to you? Or does she seem like she wants the conversation to end as quickly as possible?

If her body language is open to you, she’s smiling a lot, and she’s making good eye contact instead of glancing away, these are great signs that your connection is progressing nicely.

If she seems uncomfortable, distracted, or cold, it’s okay to simply thank her for chatting, wish her a good day, and graciously exit the conversation.

Otherwise, go ahead and ask for her phone number!

One easy way to do that is to say…

“Unfortunately I have to get going, but I’ve really enjoyed meeting you today! Could I grab your number real quick and reach out to schedule a time for us to grab a drink?”

She may say yes and immediately reach for her phone. She may say she has a boyfriend. She may say that she lives in a different city and is just visiting for work.

The truth is that you can’t control her response or what happens next! All you can do is your best to form and nurture a connection.

If it doesn’t work out, no worries. Maintain a strong sense of confidence no matter what happens. (Hint hint – download our ebook to help with this, mentioned above!)


Conclusion on approaching women

approaching womenHaving read this post, you’ve learned how to…

  • Develop a confident mindset before approaching a woman,
  • Evaluate signs that you should walk up to her,
  • Communicate with clarity, joy, and optimism, and
  • Get her phone number before leaving.

Now what?


Your Next Steps

Here’s what to do next to make sure your dating and leadership skills keep improving:

  1. The next step after getting her phone number is to shoot her a text! For help with that, check out this article: Texting A Girl For The First Time: What To Say, And When?
  2. Download our free ebook, “Why PUA Doesn’t Work for Introverts & What Works Instead” to build these dating skills on a foundation of confidence!
  3. For more personalized support, consider our Magnetic Confidence program.

In Magnetic Confidence, you’ll discover how to…

  • Get noticed by quality women,
  • Replace “nice guy” patterns with genuine strength, and
  • Develop an unshakable sense of self.

When you’re able to confidently draw out your unique, genuine personality, you’ll easily create wonderful, lasting connections with others.

Start developing a magnetic confidence of your very own today.

Micayla from IA
Micayla from IA
Micayla is resident writer here at Introverted Alpha, which is known as the premier dating coaching company for introverted men; featured by Forbes, Business Insider, Cosmo, and more. Pick up your free copy of our 22-page ebook inside the blue box just below.

Attracting An Amazing Girlfriend Starts with Finding Your Own Vibe.

Introverted Alpha Ebook

In this powerful free 22-page ebook, “Why PUA Doesn’t Work for Introverts And What Works Instead,” you will uncover… 

–> 3-step exercise to find what makes you uniquely attractive

–> Why the “pickup artist” approach will never work for introverts and what works instead

–> How to attract women naturally being your best self

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Attracting An Amazing Girlfriend Starts With Finding Your Own Vibe.

In this powerful free 22-page ebook, "Why PUA Doesn't Work for Introverts And What Works Instead," you will uncover...


--> A 3-step exercise to find what makes you uniquely attractive
--> Why the “pickup artist” approach will never work for introverts and what works instead

--> How to attract women naturally being your best self

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