How to Get Used to Being Different and Build Self Assurance

10 ways you can embrace what makes you unique

Many introverts sometimes feel bad because they don’t quite fit in. If you’re an introverted man, you may be wondering, “Why am I so different from other guys?”. You may even  Google-search, “how to get used to being different.”

Perhaps you…

  • Refuse to lower your standards for yourself and the people you’d be willing to date,
  • Don’t align with the cookie-cutter extrovert that is typically portrayed in media and ads, or
  • Aren’t willing to compromise on who you are to try and make others comfortable.

Whatever makes you feel a little separate from others isn’t something to shy away from.

In fact, we believe your uniqueness is exactly the magic that makes you YOU!

And today, we’ve got your back. Let’s cover how to get used to being different by discovering the 10 best ways to embrace who you are.


Why does self assurance matter in the first place?

When you can accept yourself for who you are, then you get to experience the wonderful confidence that flourishes as a result.

And that confidence is just the start.

To begin developing real confidence, you first need to find out what is attractive about you.

Reason being, when you can see the unique aspects of who you are that draw people to you, you’re more likely to embrace who you are along with them!

That’s exactly what this free 22-page ebook helps you with!

Download “Why PUA Doesn’t Work For Introverts & What Works Instead” now so you can read through after you finish this post!

Now, let’s dive in! 


1. Recognize that everyone has a story

You may be familiar with the age-old “nature vs. nurture” psychology question that addresses why and how people become who they are.

Most psychologists agree that both factors play an important role in shaping and molding personalities.

Naturally, the person you’ve become makes total sense in the context of your personal experiences plus your family history. The same can be said for everyone else, too!

When you feel a bit self-conscious about what makes you different from others, you may gravitate toward an isolating mindset.

In this state, you may put yourself in one category and everyone else in another category.

No matter how out of place you might feel, remember that everyone (including you!) has a unique backstory. 

When you come back to this truth, you can embrace your own history and differences with more grace while holding extra empathy for the people you don’t identify with.


2. Don’t compromise

If you find yourself among people who make you feel left out, awkward, or generally not included, those aren’t your people.

The good news? You don’t need to change who you are to belong.

Highlight a few connections you have with people who accept you unconditionally as the exact person you are (and who enjoy you as that person!).

If nobody comes to mind, consider this a wonderful opportunity to build new friendships!

(See Tips #7 & #9 for some extra help.)


3. Learn to love yourself

Loving yourself takes real courage in a world that tends to show you everything you need to do, buy, or become in order to deserve love and attention. Figuring out how to get used to being different isn’t a one step formula, and it’s not for the faint of heart.

What would be required for you to see yourself as a friend? What would help you look at yourself in the mirror like you look at your best friend?

We admit, this is much easier said than done. Happily, this tip is more than a nice sentiment!

Some real personal growth work is needed to reach a place where you can love who you are.

(We’re here to help with that, too!)


4. Accept constructive criticism

Part of embracing what makes you unique means accepting the fact that you won’t be everyone’s cup of tea, and that’s okay!

However, on your journey to loving what makes you different, make sure you aren’t plowing over people who genuinely care about you.

Loving who you are doesn’t mean you forget about or disregard everyone else.

In fact, this personal growth journey should lead you to accept and listen more to yourself AND to other people!

Growing in empathy for yourself should naturally create an excess of grace that you can offer to others, too.

There will be some people (the random woman at the bar, the coworker who’s having a bad day, or another man who may see you as his competition) whose “advice” or feedback you can probably let roll off your back.

The people who’ve really been there for you, though… if they come to you with some constructive suggestions, hear them out! You can trust that they have your best interests in mind when they share what’s on their mind.


5. Stop comparing yourself to others

Comparison is the thief of joy… especially when you compare yourself to modified or hyper-managed images like those we tend to see on social media and Netflix shows.

Building self assurance starts with believing the truth. Air-brushed, edited images of people (especially those with entire teams of people working on their hair and makeup) aren’t true to life!

Even those picture-perfect people you may compare yourself to have experienced pimples, bad breakups, mental health struggles, family hardship, and tight financial situations.

Let’s say you’re comparing yourself to your best friend, though. 

Fill in the blanks. He’s…

  • more ____ than you, 
  • doesn’t struggle with _____, and
  • his life is so _____.

Sound familiar?

Ask yourself… Does this line of thinking add value to your life? Do these thoughts add value to his?

If not, recall these tips for how to get used to being different, catch the thought immediately, speak truth over yourself, and move on.


6. Be okay with being alone

There may come a time when you’ve been putting in a sincere effort to embrace what makes you different. People in your circle may begin to notice the change taking place in you.

Take this IA reader, for example (we’ll call him Alex):

“My friends are seeing me in a different light also, so it’s not only that I am feeling different but the people that know me see me differently.”

At this point, the people who will HELP or HINDER you on your journey will make their intentions very clear.

When you notice your “friends” trying to drag you back toward a less-secure version of yourself, have an open conversation with them to share what your progress means to you. Be honest about how they make you feel. 

If they can course-correct, great! If not, acknowledge that they may not be the best fit for the next chapter of your life.

Know that sometimes you are best suited to have a smaller core group of friends who have your best interests in mind than to keep company with people who want you to live smaller.

Having more alone time can really refine what you’re looking for, and this season of life does not last forever!


7. Spend time doing the activities you love

Not sure how to get used to being different? Remember that your passions and pastimes are yet another part of you that make you unique.

Conveniently, they’re also a great avenue to making like-minded friends and, who knows, maybe even a girlfriend!

Not only can your hobbies create new relational opportunities, spending time doing what you love also helps you enjoy your life more, which in turn helps you love yourself better!


8. Don’t ask for validation

Self assurance got that name for a reason! That sense of self-worth is utterly fleeting when coming from anyone outside of yourself.

You don’t need anyone’s permission to be wholly, uniquely you. While support, encouragement, and attention can be nice, they can also distract you from the purpose of your self-improvement journey if you let those thoughts take up more headspace than they really should.

After all, you didn’t set out for the praise, validation, or compliments… You set out to become the best, most confident version of you.

Keep that goal in sight and the sky will be the limit in terms of your self-assuredness!


9. Find your tribe

Have you ever heard that “birds of a feather” saying? The second part of it is “flock together.”

In other words, people with similar interests or of the same kind tend to form groups.

The beautiful flip side of Tip #7 above (spend time doing activities you love) is that doing what you love will naturally lead you to the people you connect with most naturally!


10. Embrace who you are

Every person on the planet is like a colorful kaleidoscope of all the unique aspects that, when put together, make them who they are:

  • Strengths and weaknesses, experiences, and relationships
  • Communication styles, intellects, senses of humor, and personal tastes
  • Passions, creative outlets, and goals
  • Genetics, physical characteristics, personalities, and habits and routines
  • Personalities, attitudes, and perspectives and beliefs

All of these beautiful pieces of the human experience, when uniquely combined in each person, truly make them different from any other being on the planet.

Embracing who you are means welcoming every aspect of yourself while seeking to elevate and improve in the areas you can!


Conclusion on how to get used to being different

how to get used to being differentNow that you know how to get used to being different, you’ll be able to embrace the wonderful person that you are through the 10 strategies included in this article.


Your Next Steps

Here’s what to do next to make sure your dating and leadership skills keep improving:

  1. For more advice on developing your confidence, check out our large collection of articles on this topic!
  2. Download our free ebook, “Why PUA Doesn’t Work for Introverts & What Works Instead” to build these dating skills on a foundation of confidence
  3. For more personalized support, consider our program called The Quiet Hero.

Don’t let anxiety limit your future joy, meaning, and connection. When you enroll in The Quiet Hero, you’ll discover…

  • 3 main manifestations of anxiety that introverted men experience,
  • Analysis of what causes different kinds of anxiety so you can know yourself better,
  • 5 clear keys to calm a racing mind, perfectionism, and overthinking,
  • 10 powerful ways to overcome anxiety (both short-term and long-term solutions), 
  • And so much more! 

While the best things in life are free, we can’t enjoy those free gifts without mental calm and deep-down peace.

Get instant access to The Quiet Hero so you can enjoy life more richly than you ever imagined. 

Picture of Micayla from IA
Micayla from IA
Micayla is resident writer here at Introverted Alpha, which is known as the premier dating coaching company for introverted men; featured by Forbes, Business Insider, Cosmo, and more. Pick up your free copy of our 22-page ebook inside the blue box just below.

Attracting An Amazing Girlfriend Starts with Finding Your Own Vibe.

Introverted Alpha Ebook

In this powerful free 22-page ebook, “Why PUA Doesn’t Work for Introverts And What Works Instead,” you will uncover… 

–> 3-step exercise to find what makes you uniquely attractive

–> Why the “pickup artist” approach will never work for introverts and what works instead

–> How to attract women naturally being your best self

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Attracting An Amazing Girlfriend Starts With Finding Your Own Vibe.

In this powerful free 22-page ebook, "Why PUA Doesn't Work for Introverts And What Works Instead," you will uncover...


--> A 3-step exercise to find what makes you uniquely attractive
--> Why the “pickup artist” approach will never work for introverts and what works instead

--> How to attract women naturally being your best self

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