Wondering what to text a woman you met at the gym?
You were chatting with an interesting woman before your workout, and you got her phone number. Well done!
Now you’re back home wondering,
What do I text her?
I don’t want to come on too strong, but I also don’t want to let this opportunity slip through my fingers…
The good news is that you don’t need to all of a sudden become 1st Place Banterer or write her an essay.
Just keep it simple… Short and sweet wins the day.
Okay, but how?!
That’s what we’re about to cover below.
When you learn this, things will become so much easier for you.
Not only will you finally know what to say (huge relief, win #1)…
It will come across well to her (setting y’all up for success, win #2!).
So what do you say?
First, remind her of who you are.
Reason being, you don’t want her to reply to your message to be,
“Who’s this?”
LOL, right? Let’s avoid that by letting her know who you are.
Then, once she knows you’re the attractive guy she met at the gym and not a random stalker, then ask her a question.
Why? Because that makes it easy for her to respond.
Yay, more wins!
Let’s review our wins so far:
She likes you enough to give you her number in the first place, she now knows who you are and feels butterflies in her stomach remembering you, and now she can easily respond in a natural way because of your softball-like question.
So many wins.
Now you might text her something like,
“Hi, this is [NAME] from the gym. It was nice meeting you today. How was your workout?”
The reason this works so well is it’s simple, relevant (workouts, which is how y’all met!), and conversational.
Or you could ask her how her day’s been since then, like this,
“Hi, this is [NAME] from the gym. It was nice meeting you today. How was the rest of your afternoon?”
The key is keeping it simple, keeping it light, and keeping it short.
Then, when she responds to your initial text, it likely means she’s interested!
Awesome, so let’s keep the good vibes going by NOT becoming her pen pal.
Sure, write back and forth a few times so it doesn’t feel abrupt when you invite her on a date, but then go ahead and invite her!
When is the best time to text her for the first time?
Have you ever heard of the 3-day texting rule…
That you shouldn’t text her for THREE WHOLE DAYS after you first meet…
Because you want to make her think that your life is so full with all the other women on your plate?
OMG, friends. Let’s NOT play that game.
If you want to make a real connection with an honest, fun, loving woman, that’s not your best look, much less mandatory. (!)
Instead, you can relax.
You can text her the SAME day.
Why? How can it be so simple?!
Because (a) she is a human, not a princess locked in a tower who supposedly feels creeped out when a man shows interest within less than 72 hours of meeting.
And (b) your message is not a marriage proposal. It’s just an extension of the friendly conversation you were having with her at the gym.
This is great news, right? Super chill.
Avoid messaging her late at night.
Typically, one to five hours is a good amount of time, leaning towards the middle-ground of two to three hours. Perfect.
And keep in mind that you are messaging her for the first time, so it’s best to avoid messaging her after 8:30 or 9 pm at night.
If you message her for the first time at 10 pm then that’s kind of awkward. She’s less likely to message you back if you text her for the first time late at night.
Keep in mind that if you send her that initial text while her memory of your chat at the gym is still fresh then your chances of her messaging you back are higher.
And note that if you meet her at 8 or 9 pm in the first place, then text her in the mid-to-late morning instead.
Can’t I just wait until the next day to text her for the first time?
If you meet her around 7 pm or sooner, then sure you could wait until the next day to text her. However, we wouldn’t recommend waiting more than 24 hours.
You want your text to feel like a natural extension of the conversation that you were having with her at the gym. And you don’t want to come off like you’re trying to play it cool.
Back to the 3-day text rule above, waiting a few days to message a woman you met at the gym is just dragging it out, making her a lot less likely to want to respond.
What if she doesn’t respond to my text right away?
Now that you’ve texted her, it’s important to give her time and space to respond to your message.
It’ll feel like pressure and make you look (and feel!) desperate if you text her again before she responds back to your initial text.
Remember, you want to extend the friendly conversation that you were having with her at the gym, not make her feel pressured.
Texting her again before she responds isn’t going to inspire her to write you back to you. Patience is a virtue here.
To Summarize
If you meet a girl at the gym and she gives you her number, awesome!
Your initial text to her should be just an extension of the chat you were having at the gym, so keep it light.
Remind her of your name, and ask her a question to make it easy for her to respond back to you.
Text her the same day or maybe the next day, but don’t wait any longer than 24 hours to text her, and don’t write to her later than 8:30 or 9 pm.
Remember, if you wait a few days to text her, it’ll seem less like a natural extension of your chat at the gym.
Keep in mind that she may be very busy, so be sure to give her the time and space to respond to your initial text. Women don’t always respond immediately. Multiple texts aren’t helpful here.
If she responds to your initial text, she’s signaling that she’s interested! So go with the flow of that building interest, and after just a few texts back and forth, invite her on a date.
What’s next?
If you’d like our support on what to text a woman you met at the gym …
- You can start by downloading our ebook on finding your deepest values and most attractive qualities. (Fitness likely included on yours if you’re reading this post!)
- Next, check out how Launch Your Dating Life works and see if it makes sense with your goals. This is our 12-week 1:1 coaching program on getting you set with a flow of new dating adventures!
Thanks for reading, and reach out if you need anything. :) We’re at team@introvertedalpha.com.
