How to mix fun with functionality when it comes to dating for engineers:
Let’s face facts: applying objectivity and logic to dating likely doesn’t come naturally for most men.
However, you’re not “most men,” are you?
Dating for engineers on the logical side of the spectrum is often different than for more emotionally oriented people. This is a great thing, by the way, unless you’re looking for dating advice online and coming up with a bunch of results that are not really geared to work for you and your situation.
That’s why today’s post is going to focus on ways you can use your talent for logic to increase your dating efficiency. We’ll talk about things like…
- narrowing your dating pool to the most likely matches,
- choosing which criteria are most important for you in a match,
- making sure your ideal woman can find you, and
- becoming more attractive with genuine personal growth.
Before we get started with all of that, however, let’s take a step back.
Why does this post on dating for engineers focus on logic and efficiency?
After all, engineers are people just like everyone else, right?
Engineers can and do benefit from tried-and-true dating advice. However, they also have some skills and characteristics that the general population doesn’t usually have.
When nature gives you an edge, take it!
So, yes, you can absolutely find your future wife by following conventional wisdom. However, if you truly want to put your engineer mind into high gear and develop a process that is likely to help you find her more easily and more quickly, this article is for you. ;)
Now, let’s get started.
First, optimize your dating pool.
Contrary to what you may have heard, dating is not a numbers game. Some advice may suggest that you open your options to as many women as possible and you’ll be sure to find “the one.”
However, your engineer mind recognizes that while this sounds logical on the surface, it’s actually an incredibly inefficient and time-consuming way of doing things.
Imagine trying to find your one special needle in the haystack of all the single women of eligible dating age who live in your town. That’s a lot of conversations, dates, and effort that could be better spent elsewhere.
Instead, you’d likely be better off doing the exact opposite of the “numbers game” scenario and narrowing your potential dating pool down as far as possible.
By coming up with your ideal criteria and dealbreakers before you even start swiping or asking for women’s numbers, you’ll not only be able to eliminate a bunch of less-than-ideal matches with no effort at all, you’ll be left with only the matches who are most likely to fit well with you.
Dating apps like Hinge are a great way to accomplish this because they allow you to customize a number of filters to suit your exact preferences.
Looking for someone who lives within a 25-mile radius from you, loves to travel, and enjoys experimenting in the kitchen? Dating site filters and photos can help you find exactly her.
Perhaps the two of you have an amazing first date and then another and you’re smitten within weeks. Think of how much time and effort you just saved by cutting out the “numbers game” mentality.
Keep in mind that you can accomplish roughly the same thing without dating sites. You can always strike up a conversation with a woman in real life and ask the important questions early on to make sure you’re both on the same page.
Expand those criteria as necessary.
Though it may benefit you to focus first on the really important core value things and not get totally consumed by trying to overlap in all interests and hobbies, the point is that it’s totally possible to select matches based on your checklist of ideals.
Of course there’s a sense of “FOMO” (Fear of Missing Out) that goes along with narrowing your dating pool so far. If you strictly filter out all but the most ideal candidates from your dating pool (let’s say you find ten women within a fifteen-minute drive) and none of those dates make your heart sing, then what’s next?
Here’s when you examine areas where you could be flexible.
- If you enjoy driving your car and blasting music on the freeway, why not expand your search radius to 100 miles and see where your adventures take you?
- While you may enjoy cooking and traveling, perhaps it’s not a top priority for your potential life partner to enjoy those things as well. In that case, drop those requirements to open up more matches.
- Or, maybe your ideal woman shares your political and religious views, yet you’d be open to having meaningful discussions with someone who doesn’t necessarily share those views. You can always let go of that filter and see how it goes.
It’s important to keep in mind that women can be unique and awesome in surprising ways, and that life has a funny way of delivering you what you need even if it’s not necessarily what you thought you wanted.
Though you can absolutely use dating site filters and probing questions to weed out matches who would be completely incompatible with your views or your way of life, keep yourself open to a little bit of whimsy with the rest of them.
Even if you have your heart set on your ideal woman from the above example, you never know when someone completely unexpected might breeze into your life and rock your whole world. ;)
Make yourself as easily searchable as possible.
The fun part of dating for engineers is that you’re able to maximize efficiency via logic. Therefore, it may be tempting to put all of your effort into the above two steps.
However, if you did that, you’d be forgetting to solve the other half of the equation:
How can your ideal woman find you, too?
If you’re looking for an outdoorsy type while you only post pictures of yourself at board game tournaments and you mostly wear your office attire out in public, you’re much less likely to attract your ideal candidate than you would be if you also had a hiking photo or two worked in.
Don’t be afraid to show women who you really are. The right one who would fit perfectly will find “the real you” as the most attractive version of you anyway.
If you’re on dating sites, fill out your profile! We can’t even imagine how many great men get passed over because they have used low-effort profiles, like…
“I hate writing these things, just message me to know more.”
You wouldn’t swipe right on that, would you?
Instead, pack that profile with relevant info that your ideal woman might be looking for! Here’s our full in-depth guide on online dating for introverted men.
If you’re not on dating sites, practice opening up and showing your genuine side during in-person conversations. When you find a like-minded woman and show her who you really are, she will be attracted to you naturally. :)
Analyze your strengths and weaknesses, and then work on them.
This is another place where dating for engineers differs slightly than dating for non-engineers.
Many people often view themselves from the inside with a bunch of emotions thrown into the mix. Engineers, however, often have an ability to step back and view themselves from an outside perspective.
Perhaps this is because engineers practice looking at problems and challenges from all angles on a daily basis. When you have this experience, it comes naturally when it’s time to use those talents on yourself.
Take a step back and unemotionally look at yourself as others see you. Then, identify areas where you excel and others you may need to work on.
Logically, you probably understand which characteristics are most successful at attracting women. This means you can get to work on maximizing your strengths and addressing anything that needs to be addressed.
Conclusion on Dating for Engineers: How to Apply Logic to Attracting Women:
When you put all four of these steps together, you’ll be a woman-attracting machine:
- Optimizing your dating pool puts the most compatible matches in front of you as early as possible.
- Gradually expanding your dating pool allows you to prioritize which traits are required and which you can be flexible on.
- Tailoring your appearance and profile toward the type of woman you hope to date helps those women find you.
- Objectively improving yourself makes you more likely to catch the interest of women in general.
That’s why dating for engineers can be so efficient and fun at the same time!
If you want more tips on maximizing your attractiveness, definitely check out our free ebook, “Why PUA Doesn’t Work for Introverts & What Works Instead.”
Sometimes, however, you’re facing a situation that you’re not quite sure how to solve without some specific advice. If that sounds like you, consider joining our Launch Your Dating Life program. You can apply here for a 1:1 phone call to see if this personalized, customized program is right for you. (New here? To see what over 200 men each have to say about Introverted Alpha, visit our IA Testimonials page.)
