Tips for introverts: Meeting new people and approaching women
Single women are everywhere: coffee shops, bars and clubs, libraries, yoga classes, local parks, adult softball leagues, and grocery stores, not to mention dating apps and social media.
So then why can it feel so challenging to meet women, make eye contact, and strike up a conversation? Do you ever find that when the time comes to approach a woman, you seem to freeze? If you’re an introverted man nodding your head “yes,” you are certainly not alone.
For example, take this quote from an IA reader (we’ll call him Jared):
First and foremost, being comfortable with who I am and not trying to be someone else was always my big struggle. I had this incorrect assumption that women wanted what very extroverted outgoing guys would do to try to impress women. It just didn’t feel authentic to me.
I’ve grown more comfortable with who I am and recognizing there’s nothing wrong with me for not being super outgoing. I have my own unique aspects of my personality that I can let shine through, and those are much more compelling to tell my story.
Feeling pressured to fit into a certain dating stereotype is understandable when that’s what’s portrayed in the media and popular dating advice.
Happily, there’s a better way!
Today, we’re going to cover three interesting places to meet women that feel authentic and comfortable for introverted men.
Why is meeting girls so hard as an introvert?
Especially after college, going to bars and clubs to meet women can become even less appealing to introverts. Finding genuine, romantic connections with women in bars can feel challenging. Between the huge crowds, loud music, and seemingly obligatory drinking, an introvert can feel lost at sea.
The good news?
You don’t have to do that!
You don’t just want to meet girls… you want to find a girlfriend who truly gets you. So how do you stay true to who you are while meeting women? The secret is to become the most magnetic version of yourself, and the only way to do that is to develop authentic confidence. Deep-down confidence only comes from knowing exactly who you are… and learning to love that person first. Finding out what makes you uniquely attractive helps you see yourself from an outsider perspective, which gives you a sneak peek into why women are so drawn to you! That’s exactly why we created this free 22-page ebook, “Why PUA Doesn’t Work for Introverts & What Works Instead” just for you. Get your copy here, and be sure to complete the confidence-building exercise on page 8 after you finish this post!
Now, let’s dive in!
How to meet girls through your hobbies
Authenticity is absolutely essential to a healthy dating relationship. Not only do your hobbies create opportunities to connect with women who may share your interests, engaging in hobbies also puts you in your element!
Expanding the women you meet through hobbies can be this simple:
- Pick an activity that you enjoy doing or that you would like to do,
- Find a place where there are other people doing that activity,
- Chat with women who are enjoying that same hobby.
For example, if you enjoy exercising, try joining an athletic group or fitness class in your city. If you love to help people and want to give back to the community, try volunteering!
Right now you might be thinking, “What about hobbies that are more introvert-friendly?”
- If you enjoy reading, you can join a book club.
- Do you prefer gaming? Look for a video game or board game meetup that you can attend.
- Check out meetup.com to find specific groups related to your hobbies!
Women are a lot more receptive to starting a conversation with strangers at a meetup than at a bar or club. Meeting people at these meetups can feel very laid-back, easy, and comfortable because you already have a shared common interest simply by being there.
How to meet women through your social circles
Not sure how to leverage your social circle to meet and talk to girls? Try to see your friends’ complex networks for what they are: a rich, dynamic resource you can draw from!
A set-up or introduction by a mutual friend creates so much warmth and trust compared to meeting a total stranger. You already have something in common because you know the same person!
If the social circles you have access to don’t include any women you’d want to date, don’t worry.
When you embark on a journey to make some new friends (especially through shared hobbies as recommended above), and when you’re open to meeting everybody as you do this (not just women you find attractive), you never know who might happen to know someone who would be a good match for you!
Pro Tip: Extroverts by definition tend to be very well-connected because they love to surround themselves with people, men and women alike. One of your extroverted friends may have several handfuls of acquaintances you’ve never met… and one of them could be the right one for you!
How to meet girls through online dating
There are so many benefits to online dating sites and dating apps.
While every venue including online has challenges, dating apps have many benefits that can go underappreciated. Online, you can easily…
- Filter through potential matches by their interests and personality types before you start talking to them,
- Skip face-to-face interactions until you’re ready,
- Build connections with women from the comfort of your own home,
We recommend getting started on Hinge because this platform is easy to navigate, includes an excellent experience for free with optional paid upgrades, and fosters deeper connections than apps like Tinder.
Do you need some help creating a profile and learning how to connect with women well online? You’ll love the articles in our online dating archive and our Virtual Virtuoso program!
And remember: You don’t have to force yourself to be more extroverted to find a girlfriend who “gets” you. Your ideal partner will appreciate your quiet, analytical nature!
Conclusion on how to meet girls as an introvert
Now that you know how to attract more women, you’ll be able to strike up more conversations, ask for more phone numbers, go on more dates, read body language cues, and experience better dating success as you gradually reach beyond your comfort zone!
Your Next Steps for Your Dating Life
Here’s what to do next to make sure your dating and leadership skills keep improving:
- For more advice related to this topic, dive into our collection of articles about meeting women!
- Download our free ebook, “Why PUA Doesn’t Work for Introverts & What Works Instead” to build these dating skills on a foundation of confidence!
- For more personalized support, consider our Launch Your Dating Life program.
Do you want the guidance of your very own Introverted Alpha dating coach to…
- Be and feel sexually attractive,
- Meet and connect with great women, and
- Fill your dating funnel with quality dates?
Launch Your Dating Life is our 12-week high-touch, comprehensive program that will help you do all of the above (and more!), all while feeling more like yourself than ever! Discover how to launch your own dating life today.
