The top traits women look for in men
One fact that holds true across all generations is that women love the type of men who make them feel comfortable, desired, and appreciated.
Reason being, these feelings describe a relationship that feels emotionally safe.
As an introverted man looking for love, we know that you long to make a woman feel that way! In fact, men and women alike wish for that sense of emotional safety because it makes us as humans feel…
- Valued and valuable,
- Free to be ourselves without the risk of judgment,
- Safe because our weaknesses won’t be taken advantage of,
- Comfortable to share boldly and express ourselves freely, and
- Seen, heard, and understood.
So how will that look practically for you when the time comes?
If you find yourself wondering, “What do women like in a man?” then you’ve come to the right place! Today, we’re diving into the actionable ways you can become the best possible version of yourself for your future partner.
We’re going to cover these seven behaviors that can create emotional safety, which is necessary for healthy long term relationships and successfully attracting women who are good for you:
- Respect boundaries and consent,
- Pay attention to your nonverbal communication,
- Be an active listener,
- Practice transparency,
- Give your partner the benefit of the doubt,
- Foster accountability and follow-through, and
- Consider couples or relationship therapy as needed.
By the end of this post, you will be much more aware of what women are looking for and how you can grow in these areas, all while staying true to yourself!
Attraction and Authenticity
When you can attract women while being your authentic self, you don’t simply get results that you like (e.g. getting a girlfriend)… you get results that last (e.g. establishing a loving, healthy relationship with a lifelong partner).
Hang on… How can you be yourself and attract women if you don’t know what women already find attractive about you?! In order to know what women can find most attractive in you uniquely, you first need to discover what draws women to you already and how you can lean into the best traits that you already possess. That’s exactly what this free 22-page ebook, “Why PUA Doesn’t Work for Introverts & What Works Instead”, helps you with! Download the ebook here and begin reading as soon as you finish this post.
Now, let’s dive in!
Respect boundaries and consent
Setting and respecting boundaries increases safety and security in a relationship. Having personal limits is normal and healthy!
By communicating your boundaries clearly and confidently, you protect both yourself and your relationship!
Boundaries can fall into many categories, including…
- physical,
- sexual,
- intellectual,
- emotional, and
- financial.
Ultimately, the boundaries you set honor your individuality and the beautiful ways you differ from one another. When you’re in a relationship with someone who respects your personal limits, you feel comfortable being honest, open, and vulnerable, which is a wonderful foundation for a successful relationship!
Pay attention to your nonverbal communication
If a picture is worth a thousand words, imagine how many words your body language is worth!
We’ve all seen someone who looks like they’d rather be anywhere else on earth: their crossed arms, hard eyes, tightly-pressed lips, and short words can make you feel uncomfortable.
Nobody wants to come home to someone who seems disengaged, impatient, or critical. Consider this article your invitation to embody the opposite of those!
As a single man, how can you portray warmth, safety, and empathy to your future partner? Start practicing now with your coworkers, family members, and yes… even people around you who seem less than engaged.
Be an active listener
The four stages of listening are receiving, understanding, evaluating, and responding.
Brene Brown said it best:
“We have to listen to understand in the same way we want to be understood.”
When you are committed to listening on a deep level, setting any distractions and defenses to the side is part of what you do to keep the environment safe and comfortable for the person speaking.
You can practice active listening in any environment by…
- Smiling, nodding, and maintaining eye contact,
- Asking thoughtful, open-ended questions or asking for clarification, and
- Reflecting back on what was said.
Most of all, stay curious throughout the conversation!
Practice transparency
Although you certainly don’t need to share every detail of your life with your new girlfriend right off the bat, transparency and trust go hand-in-hand!
Being vulnerable can feel intimidating if you, like most introverted men, consider yourself a very private person. Our advice? Start small! Share about something embarrassing that happened at work, or recall a childhood memory that shaped you somehow.
When you share more of who you are, it will make her feel comfortable to do the same, which leads to a beautiful, intimate bond!
Give your partner the benefit of the doubt
Inevitably, your future girlfriend will make a decision that doesn’t make sense to you. She may even do something that inadvertently causes you some amount of inconvenience or pain.
Talk about those situations together, and while you’re listening (actively!), do your best to stay curious about what motivated her behavior.
When you seek to understand people whose actions seem unreasonable, you grow in your compassion and empathy for others. So start practicing that now with people when you don’t understand something they did or when you have a disagreement!
Foster accountability and follow through
Following through on your commitments and plans is one of the simplest ways to build trust in a relationship.
Sometimes, though, unforeseen circumstances come up and may prevent you from doing what you said you’d do. In that case, keep your partner in the loop! Life happens, and it’s okay to ask for some grace when situations beyond your control affect your ability to follow through.
The more you keep your word, the more loyal trust you build… and the more your own character grows, too, as you prioritize the commitments that are most important to you!
Consider couples or relationship therapy
Instead of thinking about couples counseling as a last-ditch effort to salvage a relationship, treat it like a regular tune-up or oil change for your car.
In the same way that you wouldn’t drive your car 100,000 miles without investing in professional maintenance, many healthy couples find that seeing a therapist periodically makes a big difference in their relationship.
Counselors can help you work through specific conflicts, and perhaps more importantly, they can help you communicate more effectively and establish better modes of problem solving!
What do women like in a man? Final Thoughts
Now that you know how to foster emotional safety, you’ll be able to make your future partner feel safe, loved, valued, and understood. That sounds like the foundation of a flourishing, thriving relationship!
Your Next Steps
Here’s what to do next to make sure your dating and leadership skills keep improving:
If you haven’t already, download our free ebook, “Why PUA Doesn’t Work for Introverts & What Works Instead” to build these dating skills on a foundation of confidence!
For more in-depth support, consider our Magnetic Confidence program.
As an introverted man, do you sometimes wonder if you can ever be attractive to women or if you’ll always just be a “nice guy”?
Do you ever feel like you’re missing out on your life, because you’re trying to please other people and you forgot (or even never found out!) what it is that *you* want?
If so, Magnetic Confidence was designed specifically for you. We’ll help you discover how to…
- Get noticed by quality women,
- Replace “nice guy” patterns with genuine strength, and
- Develop an unshakable sense of self.
Let’s start building that magnetic confidence of your very own today!
